Introduction
SC175
member
Hi All,
I had my son just over 4 weeks ago. Some history on myself, I work in mental health, and my DH works in the mining sector in senior management. He recently accepted a new position (that he interviewed for as I was in labor, so very recent) that involves him travelling to the mine site on a 2 week in and 2 week home rotation. This is better than his previous role that involved international travel, always on short term notice and we never really knew when he was coming home, it could be 10 days, it could be 3 weeks. We agreed this new role is a better fit for him as the travel is more predictable. Due to this all happening at the time our son was born, he ended up being off with me for 3 weeks which was great and he was a huge help.
Since having our son, I have had major mood swings and haven't felt like myself at all. My husband had been pulling night shift to give me a break but I still find myself having a hard time coping with everything. We have 2 dogs and a parrot. The dogs are manageable but since we got home from the hospital, apparently birds react strongly to hormones. He has been screaming non stop since we got home. I've found this particularly stressful on top of everything else. Our vet assures us that this will pass, but it's only getting worse. I feel awful because DS demands so much of my time that I used to be able to spend with our parrot (whom is bonded only to me and bites my DH horribly) and he is always in his cage instead of being let out to play. I'm also always stressed he will wake the baby.
Fast forward to this week. His first week at new job, he is only there for one week, left Sunday afternoon, home Friday night. Up until this week, DS had been sleeping somewhat normally and seemed to be going back to sleep quickly at night feedings. I had a csection with him and he had trouble latching so I've been pumping but my milk supply is dwindling drastically so this week we had to start incorporating formula into the routine. I feel completely awful about this. I feel like this is the one thing I'm supposed to be able to provide him with and I can't do it. Meanwhile the bird is screaming in the background. DH is away. DS has stopped sleeping like he was and is up every 1-2 hrs for approx. 2-3 hours at a time which limits me to do anything, including pumping. When he is awake he is super squirmy, hard to appease and seems inconsolable. I'm stressed that I can't get any sleep, I've got no appetite any longer - the last time I ate was at noon yesterday. I feel awful because DH has worked hard for his new role and I want him to be focused on it but every time he calls I am crying uncontrollably because of the intense circumstances here. I feel like this is more than baby blues as it seems to be getting more intense. I've called my dr and am going to see him next week to discuss PPD.
I guess I am just looking for some support from some women who have been there and understand as it is hard for DH to relate. My family is not super close either and our circle of friends don't have children yet so it is difficult to talk to them also as I was such a different person before I had him and haven't seen them since I had him. I've probably left things out but hopefully you get the gist and I look forward to hearing from your perspective.
Re: Introduction
You sound like you gave a lot if guilt about things and I do, too. I feel like I need to do everything and I'm not able to handle my load of things. I feel guilty that my husband has to help so much.
Good for you that you contacted your Dr. I did and they referred me to a hotline with a social worker that I've been speaking with and a support group at our hospital. It has been helpful. Not on meds and hopefully I won't need to since I'm doing a little better. Nothing is wrong with taking them if you need to, of course.
I am struggling with some anxiety, but I'm not sure what I'm anxious about. I also feel I sure about my new life and miss my old one and relationship with my husband. I wake up in the AM upset that I have to do it all over again.
I have to say that my situation has gotten better in the past week. The social worker told me that sometimes you just go back to normal when your hormones start to come back. I've been praying that's what's going on with me.
Hope you start to feel better soon!