Dear H

Whenigrowup

My morning has started off in a stressful way when I realized I forgot to get things ready for DD's school event. Now that it's done I have a small amount of time to enjoy my coffee and breakfast. Please stop showing me shit on your tablet and telling me how you would have helped if you had been finished getting ready. Also, stop asking me questions. Thanks. Love you. From, your bitchy wife.

my5sons

Dear H.....when I'm cranky and irritable today please don't take it personally. Being up with DD nursing every few hours and being constantly woken up in between those times by your obnoxious snoring is, quite frankly, exhausting. At least I didn't smother you with a pillow which i contemplated as I desperately longed for sleep. But I tell you this...if I finally fall asleep one of these nights and you wake me up for the secks...the smothering will commence. Sleep>>>>>>>secks(especially with newborns in the house!!!) Sorrynotsorry.

I am a total sleep HOAR. I never get enough....

my5sons

EVA116

Dear H-

No no...you go ahead and just keep getting yourself ready in the morning. I will get myself, DD, and DS ready and fed.

ps. You are a man, it should not take that long to do your hair.

my5sons

Chickie79 said:

Oh, and no, I do not know where your (enter stupid item here) is. Maybe you should put it back where it belongs so you know where to find it next time.

This is SOOOO my husband too!!!

EVA116

Chickie79 said:

@EVA116‌ - I'm wearing my Cubs shirt today. Just wanted to tell you.

Nice! I have got to get to a game....just waiting for it to warm up.

thebanich

Dear H

Stop slamming the GD bathroom door every morning when you get out of the shower. And don't expect me to know where your keys are. You're the asshat that put them in my purse.

ETA: grammar

LucilleAustero

Dear H,

You are off from work for a week and a half and I am not. Please be mindful of this in the morning when our daughter wants (fill in the blank). I appreciate that you are not used to her mornings, since you leave for work before she gets up, but I really need to get ready for work myself. Mmmkay? Thanks.

lildevil968

Dear H-

Thank you for deciding to get Allergy shots, now I get to suffer through your 4 month long man cold. This is soooo awesome, I love it. J/K, I hate it, and you right now.

casholmes

Dear H, thank you for deciding to fix all the cabinet doors that never shut all the way. The random act of being handy makes up for the hammer waking the baby at 8am. I'm glad you're taking an interest in making the house look nice! Even if waking up to banging almost gave me a heart attack (TWSS?)

wiggyslilsis

Dear H,

I know you are working so hard and are tired when you get home but we are in the middle of settling in from moving and I need your help. Please follow through with whatever you need to do to get the dryer working. Then I can do laundry and you won't have to worry about "finding" clean clothes in this chaos. And just try to remember that even though I am home all day that I am home with our 2 year old daughter which doesn't really lend itself to easily unpacking and organizing.

Love your tired and stressed wife.

LuckyDad

Dear W,

You're cranky in the morning before you shower and drink coffee. When I get up with DS anyways, please go ahead and shower and have coffee before trying to talk to me. Thank you.

nurrieum

Dear H, 

   Thanks for not talking to me first before you up and changed the whole plans for the day and rescheduled our appointments. However, since you're wanting to go pick up "lady stuff" as you put it, without complaint or issue AND were willing to take DS along and come home to do the dishes after. I pretty much have to forgive you. Ohh, and for taking care of DS's nasty poopy diaper this am. 

Thanks,

Bitchy wife. 

EVA116

justAphase said:

(Also please be at least a little bit rich) Just kidding. Kinda.

FTFY

jorkz821

LuckyDad said:

Dear W,

You're cranky in the morning before you shower and drink coffee. When I get up with DS anyways, please go ahead and shower and have coffee before trying to talk to me. Thank you.

Lol I might be your W. Except my h hasn't realized that I need coffee before conversation. Stop chatting away, h.

jorkz821

HilarityEnsued said:

Is using boiled water a typical thing for bottles?  I thought this was only the case when the baby was a preemie or somehow immuno-compromised... or the tap water was just straight funk dubious...

Using boiled water is recommended up here for the 1st 4 months. Not sure if that's a provincial or national recommendation. All that to say I didn't do it when DD got bottles but I wasn't on well water either.

nurrieum

jorkz821 said:

Is using boiled water a typical thing for bottles?  I thought this was only the case when the baby was a preemie or somehow immuno-compromised... or the tap water was just straight funk dubious...

Using boiled water is recommended up here for the 1st 4 months. Not sure if that's a provincial or national recommendation. All that to say I didn't do it when DD got bottles but I wasn't on well water either.

I have some friends in the country and they have to either buy the Culligan water or bottled water. It's because there's a high level of minerals in the water that could be bad for infants under 1 year. I can recall the name of the mineral off the top of my head but they ended up just getting all their water through Culligan. They have signs posted up, our church is in the same area and they have signs there as well. Our church also uses Culligan water to avoid that. 

EVA116

@gotgingy I have not heard someone use NOT in a while. Love it.

winecastle14

EVA116 said:

Dear H-

No no...you go ahead and just keep getting yourself ready in the morning. I will get myself, DD, and DS ready and fed.

ps. You are a man, it should not take that long to do your hair.

Pretty much this. Every morning. Except I just have one kid. 

winecastle14

Chickie79 said:

Chickie79 said:

@EVA116‌ - I'm wearing my Cubs shirt today. Just wanted to tell you.

Nice! I have got to get to a game....just waiting for it to warm up.

The funny thing is I live in ATL and I get the dirtiest looks when I wear it. I got to go to a game when I was in Chicago a couple of years ago and I was ecstatic! (DH wore his Braves shirt)

Blasphemy @chickie 79. Also, GO BRAVES

ready-or-not

Dear H

I know that you have to do your work out AS SOON AS we all walk in the door in the afternoons, but it would be super awesome if you could give me 5 minutes of co-parenting first so I can pee/change clothes without a crying 2 year old attached to me.

& some other stuff too but we'll start there.

Thanks a bunch xoxo

Whenigrowup

Glad I'm not the only one...

Seriously, though.  How can I do make-up, hair, clothes, accessories (not that I wear much), fix my lunch, and stuff a bunch of candy in GD Easter eggs before you can get yourself ready, H?  You do clothes, shave, and hair, and the hair doesn't take any time at all.   Put your tablet down and GET GOING.

jorkz821

LauraT25 said:

jorkz821 said:

LuckyDad said:

Dear W,

You're cranky in the morning before you shower and drink coffee. When I get up with DS anyways, please go ahead and shower and have coffee before trying to talk to me. Thank you.

Lol I might be your W. Except my h hasn't realized that I need coffee before conversation. Stop chatting away, h.

I'm thisclose to just moving the coffee maker to my nightstand.  I don't think I should be held accountable for anything that happens before the first mug.  Maybe even before the second mug.

I mean, really. We've been married almost 5 years. How does he keep talking so much in the mornings?? Coffee makes me a nicer person. Let me drink it.

Whenigrowup

Dear DH,

No, no. You misunderstood.  When I was working on some school stuff and you kept talking and talking about a topic that was unrelated to what I was doing (or really, anything I'd be interested in) and I said "I've stopped listening now," it wasn't an indication that you should go back and repeat yourself.  I stopped listening because I'm doing something else.  

From, Your awful wife, who is still not listening as you continue to talk about it.