This close to jumping off the fence...

TiffanyBerry

I'm || <-- this close to jumping off the fence and saying "heck yeah, let's have another kid".  I definitely have decided I'd like to have another kid.  But I can't decide if I'm willing to give up the wonderful stuff that you get with only one in exchange for having said second kid.

And that seems like progress in making this decision.  Which is sad, in and of itself.

[Deleted User]

I think if you've decided you want another, you'll find a way to convince yourself it's worth it. Not that I'm trying to push you off the fence, just sayin'.

gwendarling

do you want a family of four? how old is your kid?

MrsCodeMonkey

Congrats and good luck! Another one bites the dust...lol

Helenahhandbasket

It must feel good to at least get that far!

I think when your desire for another one outweighs the thought of what you will be giving up, you are ready.

GL!

JackoftheBox

I like it off of the fence! LOL it's freeing and there is lots of sex.... 

TittsMcGee

rocknrollfriend said:

I think if you've decided you want another, you'll find a way to convince yourself it's worth it. Not that I'm trying to push you off the fence, just sayin'.

I second this.

meo34

I think your DD is 3 so I think it would be a good point to have another "if" you are going to have another.  Giving up on the extras would be a drawback for sure but I think if you feel it is right for your family and won't be actual financial struggle then that is a different discussion.

To be honest if I had been able to have more children or if DH had been open to adoption when DS was younger we likely would have had another child.  So I can see that point of view.

tifdaski84

YellowWallpaper12 said: Helenahhandbasket said: It must feel good to at least get that far!I think when your desire for another one outweighs the thought of what you will be giving up, you are ready.GL! I agree with this.


I agree with this too.  I slowly slithered off the fence a little while ago and we are (very casually) TTC but I'm still kinda unsure.  I keep thinking of all the things I'll be giving up and all of the things I'll have to go back to (BFing, night wakings, etc) but I imagine our family with 2 kids down the road.  I'm trying hard not to imagine our family with one toddler and one baby though, because that will likely send me running for the hills.  I'll just focus on years to come.  Lol.

MAtoNC

I think that anyone who goes onto have more than one child has moments when they are worried about upsetting the apple cart. of giving up wonderful things about being OAD. A number of friends who have had a second (and are glad they did) even had moments during their pregnancy when thigns felt a little bittersweet. Like they were mourning the end of their little family of three. It is completely normal to be ambivilent no matter which side of the fence you ultimately land on.

PB102012

That's exciting either way.... Good luck on your decision! 

KS02CS08

I've found the fast you make your choice the less stressed you are about having another or not.

EMarieMe

Helenahhandbasket said:

I think when your desire for another one outweighs the thought of what you will be giving up, you are ready.

GL!

What she said!  GL!!!!!

TiffanyBerry

rocknrollfriend said:

I think if you've decided you want another, you'll find a way to convince yourself it's worth it. Not that I'm trying to push you off the fence, just sayin'.

This is likely exactly how it will be.

gwendarling said:

do you want a family of four? how old is your kid?

I have had a really hard time evaluating the "how big do you want your family to be" question as the way to approach it.  My brain doesn't really wrap around that question, though I don't know why.

DD is almost four - so they'd be nearly five years apart.  They won't really be "friends" or close playmates, but that's not ever been my goal anyway.

M&MHaveMyHeart said:

So what's DH's take on it? Is he fine either way?

He's more in favor of OAD, but he's also decided that I have to do most of the work anyway (being the SAHM), so it's totally up to me.  Literally, "You make the decision.  Whatever is fine."

Helenahhandbasket said:

It must feel good to at least get that far!

I think when your desire for another one outweighs the thought of what you will be giving up, you are ready.

GL!

Let's see how long it takes to get there.  Or how impatient I get and say "screw it, I'll get there eventually".

MAtoNC said:

I think that anyone who goes onto have more than one child has moments when they are worried about upsetting the apple cart. of giving up wonderful things about being OAD. A number of friends who have had a second (and are glad they did) even had moments during their pregnancy when thigns felt a little bittersweet. Like they were mourning the end of their little family of three. It is completely normal to be ambivilent no matter which side of the fence you ultimately land on.

True.

law&order

I may or may not have pegged you as the next to go (in my head). It also scares me since I think we parent the same kid

Good luck!

TiffanyBerry

Of course, when she goes and does adorably cute stuff for our friend's baby...

(And that little Boots the Monkey, in the second picture, was hers.  She decided that the baby needed a stuffed animal, and got one out of her basket full of them, and gave it to the baby, permanently.  And we had to stop her from giving the baby (a second) book from her bookshelf for a gift too.)

Chapter79

TiffanyBerry said:

Of course, when she goes and does adorably cute stuff for our friend's baby...

(And that little Boots the Monkey, in the second picture, was hers.  She decided that the baby needed a stuffed animal, and got one out of her basket full of them, and gave it to the baby, permanently.  And we had to stop her from giving the baby (a second) book from her bookshelf for a gift too.)

I'm broken.  The only thing I see when I look at this picture (besides your BEAUTIFUL DD!) is no sleep :P  And the fights in between those sweet moments.  Totally broken.  But that's too sweet!!

TiffanyBerry

Chapter79 said:

I'm broken.  The only thing I see when I look at this picture (besides your BEAUTIFUL DD!) is no sleep :P  And the fights in between those sweet moments.  Totally broken.  But that's too sweet!!

No, no, I see that too.  Really mindnumbing, it is.

this decaf life

lildis09 said:

DD is super cute (and a tad obsessed) with my boss's new baby. Surprisingly I didn't get any sort of twinge. PS your dd looks so sweet doting on that baby!

DD is crazy obsessed with babies. She gives hugs and kisses and it kills me. I think it's so cute but it doesn't give me even the slightest twinge of baby fever.

I was holding my friend's baby yesterday and DH joking was like get rid of that baby! And I was like, but no this doesn't make me want one at all! I'm still in the - I'm just glad it's not mine when it comes to kids younger than DD.

GL OP though, I think I'll be singing a different tune when DD is 3+

TiffanyBerry

A few days later, and I feel like I'm at the point where I know I like what we have, and I know I'd like to have another.  Which am I wiling to give up?  What we have with one, or what we would have with two?  Because I can't have them both.