UOs

lrmrtn

spacepotatoes said:

Kageer said:

I think choosing a home birth is an irresponsible choice. You have no way of knowing what complications are going to arise that require medical attention and to waste precious minutes getting to a medical facility is minutes wasted that could be treating you or your baby.

I'm not comfortable doing it at home, personally, but I wouldn't call those who do choose to do it irresponsible. Where I live, there are strict conditions that midwives require you to meet before allowing a home birth, including a maximum time/distance from the nearest hospital with L&D facilities. Realistically, if you have a low risk, complication-free pregnancy, there is no reason why a home birth can't be totally successful.

lrmrtn said:

I finally watched the HIMYM finale and was not disappointed with it as it seems everyone else was. Were people upset because it wasn't all happily ever after?

Nope.
**spoilers ahead**

It was because it felt like we wasted nine seasons on Ted finally getting over Robin and establishing that no, they were not actually meant to be. Then the entire last season was spent on convincing us how Robin and Barney were totally meant to be and preparing for their wedding. In the finale, we get to see maybe 10 minutes of their wedding and then find out they got divorced within a few minutes of that. So what was the point? Not to mention all the build up to meeting the mother, establishing the perfect relationship, only to find out she's been dead 6 years and Ted is still freaking pining for Robin? Ridiculous. I would have been ok with the mother not being around anymore but Ted going back to Robin at the end is what really killed it for me.


Okay, I get that. This whole season dragging out the wedding bugged me. The Robin/Barney storyline bothered me more than Ted still pining over Robin and I do wish they spent more of the season on the mother but I wasn't nearly as disappointed with the finale as I expected to be. Maybe I was just disappointed with the whole season.

MamaismyJOB

UO 1: I hate Sandals resorts. I have never been, so I am fully open to hearing positive opinions...but they just seem so cliche.

UO 2: I do not understand why you would decline cervical checks once you get to the recommended time.

Clearly they are in place for a reason. Wouldn't you want your OB to be working with all the facts? I was so confused why someone would decline that I asked my OB. She said some decline for religious reason and some decline if there was a past history of assault or abuse. I completely get declining based on both of those reasons. But she said the vast majority of her patients who have declined basically do so for control issues. That, I do not understand.

Now I realize this is just one doctor's experience, but it just confuses me as to why you would refuse a medical procedure that allows your doctor to have a better idea of what is going on with your pregnancy.

IBackBevo

Omg. I just read the posts on HIMYM. I am so glad that I quit watching this show several years ago.

ajsweeton

ErikaLynn75 said:

My UO:

Kind of going off the Disney thing. I don't understand people who vacation in the same spot every year. To me, the best part about travelling is getting to see and experience NEW things. No matter how much fun I had on last year's vacation, I wouldn't want to go back and do the same thing this year. We honeymooned at a Sandal's resort in Jamaica, and while we were there they had some crazy discount for anyone who booked their return visit. It was a great vacation, but I have no intention of ever going back, when I could spend that money and time on a trip to somewhere new. I went to Disney when I was about 12. I still remember it. I have no desire to go back until our kid is old enough to enjoy it. Especially when we only have the ability (vacation time, finances) to take one vacation a year. 

I guess the exception to this would be if the purpose of your vacation is to meet up and spend time with family. 

I agree completely! I love being able to see and experience new places. There have been a few vacations I've taken though that I wouldn't mind repeating just because they were so great and when we went I was a kid so the dynamic would be different. The exception to this for me would be Orlando. I don't think id ever get tired of Disney and I really want to go to universal studios. I want my kids to experience different things in life though. I want entertaining vacations like Disney, but I also want to drag them through museums in Washington DC.

oscarwao

ErikaLynn75 said:

My UO:

Kind of going off the Disney thing. I don't understand people who vacation in the same spot every year. To me, the best part about travelling is getting to see and experience NEW things. No matter how much fun I had on last year's vacation, I wouldn't want to go back and do the same thing this year. We honeymooned at a Sandal's resort in Jamaica, and while we were there they had some crazy discount for anyone who booked their return visit. It was a great vacation, but I have no intention of ever going back, when I could spend that money and time on a trip to somewhere new. I went to Disney when I was about 12. I still remember it. I have no desire to go back until our kid is old enough to enjoy it. Especially when we only have the ability (vacation time, finances) to take one vacation a year. 

I guess the exception to this would be if the purpose of your vacation is to meet up and spend time with family. 

Eh, I see what you're saying. Unless I really loved an area I am unlikely to revisit it. But, I live in Orlando and I worked for a resort geared toward young families for three years while I was in grad school. We had TONS of families that came back year after year (or some, multiple times a year). I think the familiarity with the location is part of what actually made it enjoyable for these families - they knew the staff, they knew the property, etc. Plus, most of the families didn't do the exact same thing every time they visited, there is decent enough variety to change it up from vacation to vacation - Disney, Universal, Sea World, Discovery Cove, multiple decent beaches nearby, natural springs with tubing, not to mention crap tons of shopping. Like, stupid amounts of gigantic outlets and malls for one city. More than anything I think people liked to come back because there was no worrying about the "unknown" they knew what they were getting pretty much every time. 

Empireceo

CamrynnsMommy said:

I think choosing a home birth is an irresponsible choice. You have no way of knowing what complications are going to arise that require medical attention and to waste precious minutes getting to a medical facility is minutes wasted that could be treating you or your baby.

@Empireceo‌, duty calls. Eta: @Miles2Go‌

Reporting for duty. Irresponsible mom hoping for an HBAC up in here. It seems you are grossly misinformed about what a home birth is and entails. My midwives are not just showing up with a leather strap for me to gnaw on while I push it out. To claim there is "no way" of knowing what complications may arise is patently false. A skilled and trained midwife who stays with you every moment of your labor is much better equipped to identify a complication before it becomes an emergency than a nurse who checks a monitor periodically, in my opinion. Most complications that arise in labor are not timed emergencies, so I feel confident that the hospital I live 7 minutes from, where I've done all my lab work and who are familiar with my medical history can handle any complication that MIGHT arise in time. The bottom line is, birthing babies is risky business. Depending on what studies you look at home birth has either the same or better rate of infant mortality rate as hospital births, and usually a better maternal mortality rate. It's one thing to say you wouldn't be comfortable birthing at home yourself. It's quite another to say that home births are irresponsible, especially considering the fact that most women who choose one have done much more research on it than the typical woman does on an ob/hospital they choose.

cbrust

lica001 said:

My UO is that I think home schooling children should not be allowed. I think you're really doing them a disservice by not putting them in school, both on the social and academic levels. No matter how much you try to socialize your kid, it's really not the same as being in a classroom environment and interacting with other kids 6+ hours a day. Also I don't see how any parent is qualified to teach their kid at the high school level. Sure you can probably wing it for elementary school subjects, but can you really do a good job teaching them calculus and English literature? Physics and a foreign language? organic chemistry and macroeconomics? I don't think so!

I disagree 100%. Are there some cases when homeschooling is a disservice to kids? Yes. Is that the norm with homeschooling? No. 

I was homeschooled from K-4th, and again from 10th-11th grade (I graduated a year early) and I have a college degree and graduated with honors and never once struggled academically or socially. I chose to homeschool in high school because I was sick of the busy work and drama and just wanted to get the heck out of there. I was taking freshman college classes when I was a junior so that I could graduate early and get a head start on my degree. That being said, my mom rode my back the whole time I was at home and never let me slack off on my work. 

You hear about kids in the news that are homeschooled and totally lacking social skills, behind academically, etc but I can tell you that is not the norm. The vast majority of homeschoolers homeschool because the public, or private in my case, school system failed them. How does sitting in a class room for 6+ hours help a child? I do not mean to toot my own horn, but I was bored 90% of the time in the classroom and longed to be challenged academically. 

Now, I do agree that there should be stricter regulations with homeschooling. I know a family who "un-schools" and it is truly sad how far behind the kids are. Their 9yr old can't read. Their 15yr old can't do basic algebra. I do think some sort of system needs to be put in place to make sure kids are getting an adequate education to where they can be successful later in life. 

My UO is that I despise the Common Core system and all "teaching to the test" ways. In theory it sounds like a good idea, but in practice it's just awful. 

awc1986

Re: home birth. I wouldn't call it irresponsible, but I'd certainly call it risky. Especially for a FTM. I have a Facebook friend who is hoping for a home birth as a FTM and I can't help but think that it's risky if you don't know what you can cope with. A colleague had a home birth for her 2nd, but only because she'd done it before in a hospital and felt like she could do it at home 2nd time around. To do it blind is risky business IMO.

pistolpackinmomma

kitchencolors said:

MamaismyJOB said:

UO 1: I hate Sandals resorts. I have never been, so I am fully open to hearing positive opinions...but they just seem so cliche.

UO 2: I do not understand why you would decline cervical checks once you get to the recommended time.

Clearly they are in place for a reason. Wouldn't you want your OB to be working with all the facts? I was so confused why someone would decline that I asked my OB. She said some decline for religious reason and some decline if there was a past history of assault or abuse. I completely get declining based on both of those reasons. But she said the vast majority of her patients who have declined basically do so for control issues. That, I do not understand.

Now I realize this is just one doctor's experience, but it just confuses me as to why you would refuse a medical procedure that allows your doctor to have a better idea of what is going on with your pregnancy.

I'll decline cervical checks when there's NO reason for them.  They were absolutely not routine at my prior provider (a large research hospital).  They never offered and I never requested one, so I didn't have one (other than at 31 weeks when I fell and was being monitored - that one was necessary). My current OB asks if patients want them, but doesn't recommend either way.

At 38ish weeks, there is no concern about preterm labor, so WTF is the doctor going to learn from the cervical check?  Are they going to learn that you're likely to have a baby in the next 2-4 weeks... well I sure as heck hope so, but no one needs to stick their hand up my vag putting me at risk for infection and premature membrane rupture to tell me that, TYVM.




This. Unless worried about PTL there is no need for cervical checks. My mom went in and had a check done when she was pregnant with me and they said there was no way she would go before her appt the next week. She went into labor that night. On the flip side I had a friend walk around at a 3 for weeks. Weeks! It is not an indicator of anything, really.

Empireceo

awc1986 said:

Re: home birth. I wouldn't call it irresponsible, but I'd certainly call it risky. Especially for a FTM. I have a Facebook friend who is hoping for a home birth as a FTM and I can't help but think that it's risky if you don't know what you can cope with. A colleague had a home birth for her 2nd, but only because she'd done it before in a hospital and felt like she could do it at home 2nd time around. To do it blind is risky business IMO.

This makes no sense to me. You're "blindly" doing it in a hospital the first time too. Are you positive you're completely aware of the pressure you might get to have interventions that may or may not be unnecessary? Hindsight is 20/20 no matter where you have your first.

sheriot

No UO just want to agree with @Empireco. 

I'm delivering at a hospital (at least that's what I'm planning), but my SIL had a VBAC, IN her home, IN a birthing tub. She, like @Empireco, was just down the road from a hospital and was completely informed and educated about the process and had fantastic midwives.

I have a problem with anyone calling a home birth "irresponsible" seeing as how that's what women have been doing for centuries. I think it's an incredibly natural and respectable thing to do and if I have another child, I hope to give birth at home. 

Emmagk

On Disney - we're going on a family vacation there in October, LO will be about 5 months. We were supposed to go at the end of this month with DH family and had started to plan it back in Septemeber. His family had booked and paid for their part and then we got our BFP right before booking our hotel. They couldn't cancel without losing a load of money so they changed the dates for a small fee and we can still go with them. 

DH parents wont have seen LO since early July by that point so it will be a nice reunion. I've been to Disney a few times, never with a child but they seem so family friendly. I'm less stressed about taking a young baby to somewhere I know than to a complete unknown. 

Rocknroll64

awc1986 said:

Re: home birth. I wouldn't call it irresponsible, but I'd certainly call it risky. Especially for a FTM. I have a Facebook friend who is hoping for a home birth as a FTM and I can't help but think that it's risky if you don't know what you can cope with. A colleague had a home birth for her 2nd, but only because she'd done it before in a hospital and felt like she could do it at home 2nd time around. To do it blind is risky business IMO.

It's not like you don't have the option to go to the hospital at any time.  You're not chained to your bed at home.  

awc1986

Empireceo said:

awc1986 said:

Re: home birth. I wouldn't call it irresponsible, but I'd certainly call it risky. Especially for a FTM. I have a Facebook friend who is hoping for a home birth as a FTM and I can't help but think that it's risky if you don't know what you can cope with. A colleague had a home birth for her 2nd, but only because she'd done it before in a hospital and felt like she could do it at home 2nd time around. To do it blind is risky business IMO.

This makes no sense to me. You're "blindly" doing it in a hospital the first time too. Are you positive you're completely aware of the pressure you might get to have interventions that may or may not be unnecessary? Hindsight is 20/20 no matter where you have your first.

You're going into it blindly in a hospital, but at least you have the resources there at the drop of a hat. I personally wouldn't want to be thinking about the possibility of having to travel to hospital if something went wrong. Especially if i didn't live close by.

And yes people have been doing it for centuries, but this was before we had the resources we have now. I don't always understand people's reluctance to take advantage of what's on offer. I can picture women from 50 or 100 years ago screaming to have what we have nowadays.

oscarwao

cbrust said:

My UO is that I despise the Common Core system and all "teaching to the test" ways. In theory it sounds like a good idea, but in practice it's just awful. 

In general I think "teaching to the test" is horrible, but I do think a lot of it depends on the test. IMO. Something like PARCC used in conjunction with Common Core could be a really good measure of student aptitude. Current state standardized tests? Awful. 

sthomas1222

Home birth is an amazing option for any mom (FTM, VBAC, whoever) that is low risk when it's with a qualified midwife or the rare OB who does them. Each & every prenatal appt is spent discussing little details of your pregnancy & basically assessing if you've risked out. Your care provider will know every little thing about your pregnancy & life. Mine was well informed of all the stress going on with trying to sell the house, have a 14 month old, a husband unable to walk due to a broken foot, SPD pain making walking for me painful, everything going on. We talked in depth at my 1.5 hour visits & how to cope to keep my BP down, diet counseling so I don't grow a huge baby & hopefully keep my BP down, truly everything. They're all about preventing complications. So, when they show up to my house when I'm in labor I'm as low risk as it gets. Then they're constantly monitoring & assessing the situation & a trained care provider will transfer at the first sign of something POSSIBLY being wrong. They don't wait & see. They know the risks & the costs of not transferring. They don't want anything to go wrong either for you or baby & of course they don't want to lose their license. And as for a FTM, if she's not coping well or uncomfortable it's not like they HAVE to stay home. They can leave you know? There's so much that goes into determining if you're a candidate for home birth & it's revisited at every appt & every minute of labor. As for cervical checks. They are completely pointless to be done routinely (not for a medical reason like PTL). They mean absolutely nothing & your doctor will learn nothing other than the state of your cervix at that point in time & it it means NOTHING. I was 4-5cm, 80% effaced at 37w. She said maybe I'll see you next week, maybe if won't. 38w I came waddling into my appt 6cm 90% effaced still not in labor. Who knows if I would have made it further or not, my BP bought me an induction that day. It does carry risks like accidental rupture of membrane, introduction of bacteria... So yes I will be declining them b/c I don't want to know if I'm hanging out at 6cm again.

kristine526

awc1986 said:

My UO is that I have no interest in water births. It just doesn't appeal to me. My local hospital's midwifery led unit are really pushing them though, since they got 2 new birthing pools. The midwife was lecturing me yesterday on how great they are. I just told her I'm keeping an open mind to get her to shut up. I'm not about to be railroaded into a birthing technique that I'm not interested in. Other women can do whatever they like when they give birth, but people need to respect that the thought just doesn't appeal to me.

You shouldn't be railroaded into something you're not interested in for sure. My hospital offers birthing tubs in all of their suites, but they're to labor in, not to give birth in. My thought process says "Hey! If laboring in a tub with all kinds of jets and things that I don't have to clean later helps with the pain, why not?" But I don't necessarily understand the people who are all hardcore about it. But no, I will not be giving birth in the tub, and honestly, do these places realize how hard it is to get up and down being hugely pregnant?

RachelCA29 said:

My UO: I don't get people that take their 1 year-old children to Disney world. That is an expensive trip, and I get your excited to share that experience with your kids (I sure am), but at age 1? They won't remember anything, can't do most of the attractions and will probably sleep through most of it. It seems silly to spend all that money on the trip to Florida, park passes, food, hotel, etc. for a trip that the kid won't even remember/sleep through anyway.

I really want to take my kid to Disney world (I never went as a kid), but when he is like 5 or 6, so that he/we get A LOT out of the experience. And also, so that I'm not pushing a stroller or baby carrying all day.

I agree, except for the fact that my LO will probably be going in January at 8 (ish) months. Why? Because FIL is doing the Dopey Challenge and because he's paying. You can bet your ass I'm not spending that money at that age for something they're not going to remember/enjoy.

awc1986 said:

@awc1986 ITA about water birth.  It has ZERO appeal to me.  ZERO. 

More than anything, I don't want DH chasing my poop around with a little fishing net.

Lolz.

Kageer said:

I think choosing a home birth is an irresponsible choice. You have no way of knowing what complications are going to arise that require medical attention and to waste precious minutes getting to a medical facility is minutes wasted that could be treating you or your baby.

Really? I just can't.

ErikaLynn75

Kimbus22 said:

MamaismyJOB said:

UO 1: I hate Sandals resorts. I have never been, so I am fully open to hearing positive opinions...but they just seem so cliche. UO 2: I do not understand why you would decline cervical checks once you get to the recommended time. Clearly they are in place for a reason. Wouldn't you want your OB to be working with all the facts?

1.  The week I spent at Sandals was one of my top 5 weeks in my life.  It was amazing.  Beautiful, well kept, great service, great food.  No screaming kids.  Lots to do.  Plus, premium bar in the ocean front villa and butler service.  There was literally nothing to complain about.  Nothing.

2.  People decline they because they don't serve a purpose unless you have medical issue. They can introduce bacteria also.  You can get a check and it can say you're at 3 cm and you can still walk around that way for 3 weeks.  Or you can be fully closed and go into labor the next day.  They're not indicative of much of anything.  And they hurt like a motherfucker.

This. Total relaxation. A Sandals resort is very similar to a cruise. Very little planning involved, and once you're there you don't have to think about anything. You can order whatever you want at any meal without thinking about the price, you can drink as much as you want without thinking about driving. You don't have to think about driving at all, directions, getting lost, keeping to a time schedule. You're not a "tourist" in someone else's hometown. You are surrounded by people who just want to relax and have fun just like you. You literally get to do whatever you want whenever you want for the whole week. I'm not saying I want to take every vacation at a resort, but if I just wanted to get away and relax, this is really the best way to do it. 

IBackBevo

I heard that cervical checks cause the gay.

Rocknroll64

@mamaismyjob    I'm sorry, you hate Sandals resorts yet you've never been? And what do you mean cliche? They're an all inclusive resort, they're just a higher end all inclusive resort.  I'm confused, so is it just Sandals you think is cliche or all all-inclusive resorts?

dogsombrero

UO 1- I am really bitchy today (I'm normally pretty sweet and accommodating) and instead of remotely trying to be nice I'm just rolling with it. I have no desire to baby anyone else in any capacity today. IDGAF.

UO-2 Also I'd like to vote to change FFFC to IDGAFF.

spacepotatoes

MamaismyJOB said:

UO 1: I hate Sandals resorts. I have never been, so I am fully open to hearing positive opinions...but they just seem so cliche. UO 2: I do not understand why you would decline cervical checks once you get to the recommended time. Clearly they are in place for a reason. Wouldn't you want your OB to be working with all the facts? I was so confused why someone would decline that I asked my OB. She said some decline for religious reason and some decline if there was a past history of assault or abuse. I completely get declining based on both of those reasons. But she said the vast majority of her patients who have declined basically do so for control issues. That, I do not understand. Now I realize this is just one doctor's experience, but it just confuses me as to why you would refuse a medical procedure that allows your doctor to have a better idea of what is going on with your pregnancy.

I'm sorry, there is a whole lot of bullshit up in there. Control issues? Really? That's a professional thing to say.

Previous posters have already covered all of the reasons why cervical checks are not, in fact, necessary, so I won't rehash it but I will say that my OB, who is the high risk specialist in his clinic, has also said that they are not necessary. We discussed this at my last appointment because I was planning to decline them anyway. He said he starts doing them at 38 weeks but typically because moms are curious, not because it tells him anything useful. Unless there is some reason to be concerned about what's going on, there is no need to do them. Your body will do what it's going to do when it's ready to do it.

Maybe do some research on your own, in addition to talking to your health care provider. They know a lot but they also have their own biases and are not infallible. And no, just because certain things have become standard or routine over time doesn't mean that they are always so for a good reason.

meli1025

Kimbus22 said:

God I want to go back so Sandals so bad.  I think I'll have to switch to Beaches though until the kids are big enough that I feel less guilty leaving.

We took a family trip to Beaches Turks & Caicos this past summer and it was AMAZING.  So relaxing, good food (the Caribbean side had the best food, we stayed in the Italian Village). So much fun for the kids and for the adults.  And the rum punch...oh don't even get me started.  Heaven! 

lrmrtn

Re home births, I'm pro hospital, epidural, etc so this was never a consideration for me. But I'd never judge some else who chose it if they took proper precautions.

Re home schooling, I think it's fine as long as its done right. I don't think personally I could do it though.

Re Sandals, I've never been to 1 but I've been to other all inclusives and they are amazing.

Re cervical checks, this hasn't come up yet but I'm going to now do some research!

spacepotatoes

@jennish11 Are you feeling better now? I was thinking about you for a while after your thread, that would be so scary no matter how much they tell you it's normal!

Helmink0804

My UO: I hate when you're standing in line at a grocery store and there's two people with the same big order and not one of them can bag the order! It's not a hard thing to do! Why waste everyone's time by waiting for the cashier to bag your groceries when you could of been doing it all along.

KatieP71312

Kageer said:

I think choosing a home birth is an irresponsible choice. You have no way of knowing what complications are going to arise that require medical attention and to waste precious minutes getting to a medical facility is minutes wasted that could be treating you or your baby.

Saluting you as another irresponsible homebirther. Lucky me that my MW is the ONLY MW in the state of Oregon who has hospital privileges so that if I transfer, she remains my primary care provider. Also lucky me, like others have stated, EVERY 1hr long prenatal appointment is spent discussing any reasons I would potentially risk out or be uncomfortable. They also visit my home, know my entire family, and delivered my last son at home.

I'm looking forward to the personal, intimate, direct care they provide. Especially the constant monitoring of me including sitting near me and checking the baby as often as required in positions that accommodate where I'm at with my labor. Also, because they KNOW me, they will know when I'm in distress and/or require a transfer. 

sisterjanet

lica001 said:

 

My UO is that I think home schooling children should not be allowed. I think you're really doing them a disservice by not putting them in school, both on the social and academic levels. No matter how much you try to socialize your kid, it's really not the same as being in a classroom environment and interacting with other kids 6+ hours a day. Also I don't see how any parent is qualified to teach their kid at the high school level. Sure you can probably wing it for elementary school subjects, but can you really do a good job teaching them calculus and English literature? Physics and a foreign language? organic chemistry and macroeconomics? I don't think so!

It bugs me when people assume that only teachers are qualified to teach, and that classroom instruction is the only way to learn, although I would guess in some cases people just haven't thought about it enough to realize there are options.  The bolded outright pisses me off though, because you're basically saying anyone who isn't a professional teacher is too stupid for homeschooling to work.  I really hope you didn't mean it that way, but I don't see how else to take that.

I know, based on my own assorted life experiences, that I can clearly and helpfully explain math, science, literature, and grammar.  I know I can teach someone a foreign language.  If my kids want to go deep in a subject I or my husband can't help them with or for some reason aren't interested in helping them with, I know I can help them find a way to get that knowledge.  From my perspective, it's weird how impossible some people think it is to learn if you're not in a traditional classroom with a teacher standing in front of you. 

ETA "You can probably wing it for elementary school subjects."  Really?  I feel like that's insulting to anyone in elementary education.  Even if I were inclined to agree with your stance, your way of expressing it makes me bristle like a porcupine.

laurblum

Re: Disney/Going to the same place: Well like I said, to each their own, but we enjoy multiple visits. There is always something new to experience whether at Disney or Universal. Also, we go on other vacations too so it's not like we only ever see home and Orlando.

My UO: I hate Crocs and Toms. I hate them. I tried on some of my spring shoes yesterday and my feet are to swollen for them, so now I am panicking about what I am going to wear as it gets warmer over the next 5 weeks. I guess I'll just have to get a pedicure and bust out the sandals early. Death before Crocs!!!!!!!!!

awc1986

laurblum said:

 My UO: I hate Crocs and Toms. I hate them. I tried on some of my spring shoes yesterday and my feet are to swollen for them, so now I am panicking about what I am going to wear as it gets warmer over the next 5 weeks. I guess I'll just have to get a pedicure and bust out the sandals early. Death before Crocs!!!!!!!!!

FUCK. YES.

Unless you work in a hospital or are gardening, there's no excuse for them. If you put stickers on them then you're just a bad human being.

83edwards

Kageer said:

I think choosing a home birth is an irresponsible choice. You have no way of knowing what complications are going to arise that require medical attention and to waste precious minutes getting to a medical facility is minutes wasted that could be treating you or your baby.

I think irresponsible is the wrong choice. It may not be something that you want to do, but I wish I could. I have a history that makes it not such a great idea, but I would love to skip the hospital stay. As it stands, I am requesting early discharge because I don't want to be there for 48 hours unle

typeset said:

kitchencolors said:

How we choose to birth our children is obviously going to be a personal choice.  I think talking about the choices we make and why we make them can be very valuable.  Throwing around the word irresponsible as a blanket descriptor for a choice we know quite a few moms are making in consultation with medical professionals is really frustrating to me.  Really really frustrating.

Yay women! Yay choices! Yay informed decision making!

I hope you ladies having home births have awesome safe wonderful birth experiences.  Same for those of you in hospitals or birth centers.

What about those squatting in fields? 

cbrust

KatieP71312 said:

Kageer said:

I think choosing a home birth is an irresponsible choice. You have no way of knowing what complications are going to arise that require medical attention and to waste precious minutes getting to a medical facility is minutes wasted that could be treating you or your baby.

Saluting you as another irresponsible homebirther. Lucky me that my MW is the ONLY MW in the state of Oregon who has hospital privileges so that if I transfer, she remains my primary care provider. Also lucky me, like others have stated, EVERY 1hr long prenatal appointment is spent discussing any reasons I would potentially risk out or be uncomfortable. They also visit my home, know my entire family, and delivered my last son at home.

I'm looking forward to the personal, intimate, direct care they provide. Especially the constant monitoring of me including sitting near me and checking the baby as often as required in positions that accommodate where I'm at with my labor. Also, because they KNOW me, they will know when I'm in distress and/or require a transfer. 

am I the only one that doesn't have 1hr long prenatal appointments? I swear I'm in and out of there in 10 minutes sometimes..

Jennyinheaven

cbrust said:

KatieP71312 said:

Kageer said:

I think choosing a home birth is an irresponsible choice. You have no way of knowing what complications are going to arise that require medical attention and to waste precious minutes getting to a medical facility is minutes wasted that could be treating you or your baby.

Saluting you as another irresponsible homebirther. Lucky me that my MW is the ONLY MW in the state of Oregon who has hospital privileges so that if I transfer, she remains my primary care provider. Also lucky me, like others have stated, EVERY 1hr long prenatal appointment is spent discussing any reasons I would potentially risk out or be uncomfortable. They also visit my home, know my entire family, and delivered my last son at home.

I'm looking forward to the personal, intimate, direct care they provide. Especially the constant monitoring of me including sitting near me and checking the baby as often as required in positions that accommodate where I'm at with my labor. Also, because they KNOW me, they will know when I'm in distress and/or require a transfer. 

am I the only one that doesn't have 1hr long prenatal appointments? I swear I'm in and out of there in 10 minutes sometimes..

Nope my prenatal appointment s last about 10 minutes as well.

bumpuser10194737

cbrust said:

lica001 said:

My UO is that I think home schooling children should not be allowed. I think you're really doing them a disservice by not putting them in school, both on the social and academic levels. No matter how much you try to socialize your kid, it's really not the same as being in a classroom environment and interacting with other kids 6+ hours a day. Also I don't see how any parent is qualified to teach their kid at the high school level. Sure you can probably wing it for elementary school subjects, but can you really do a good job teaching them calculus and English literature? Physics and a foreign language? organic chemistry and macroeconomics? I don't think so!

I disagree 100%. Are there some cases when homeschooling is a disservice to kids? Yes. Is that the norm with homeschooling? No. 

I was homeschooled from K-4th, and again from 10th-11th grade (I graduated a year early) and I have a college degree and graduated with honors and never once struggled academically or socially. I chose to homeschool in high school because I was sick of the busy work and drama and just wanted to get the heck out of there. I was taking freshman college classes when I was a junior so that I could graduate early and get a head start on my degree. That being said, my mom rode my back the whole time I was at home and never let me slack off on my work. 

You hear about kids in the news that are homeschooled and totally lacking social skills, behind academically, etc but I can tell you that is not the norm. The vast majority of homeschoolers homeschool because the public, or private in my case, school system failed them. How does sitting in a class room for 6+ hours help a child? I do not mean to toot my own horn, but I was bored 90% of the time in the classroom and longed to be challenged academically. 

Now, I do agree that there should be stricter regulations with homeschooling. I know a family who "un-schools" and it is truly sad how far behind the kids are. Their 9yr old can't read. Their 15yr old can't do basic algebra. I do think some sort of system needs to be put in place to make sure kids are getting an adequate education to where they can be successful later in life. 

My UO is that I despise the Common Core system and all "teaching to the test" ways. In theory it sounds like a good idea, but in practice it's just awful. 

I definitely agree that homeschooling can be a great thing! We are strongly considering it for our own children. Most of the adults I know who were homeschooled have no issues. They have college degrees and currently among their professions I can think of one attorney (with a degree from the University of Michigan), a classical musician (master's degree from Juilliard) who is now getting his physical therapy degree/certification, an accountant for one of the best firms in our area, a writer (several published novels), and a couple of nurses. I don't know of any who are struggling socially or unemployed unless they have chosen to be SAHMs.

There are ways to get the high school subjects in for sure. I've been teaching myself Hungarian through a variety of resources and certainly know more than I did taking two years of Spanish in high school, and am already teaching it to my preschooler. There are co-ops for other subjects, online classes, etc.

We will probably send our kids to school for high school though, but feel confident with the idea of school at home (and with a co-op group) until then. It's not the right choice for everyone and can be done poorly, but can have great results when done well!

Helmink0804

@cbrust‌ we wait longer at times in the waiting room than we're with the Dr. I get weighed, give a urine sample, get my blood pressure checked, than he comes in asks a few questions about how things are going and listens to the heartbeat and sends me on my way.

spacepotatoes

@cbrust Just in general, appointments with midwives do tend to be longer. They take a much more personal approach to care. One of the reasons I had really hoped to have one but it didn't work out (supply does not even come close to meeting the demand in my area). I love my OB but I do tend to spend more time waiting around than I do actually talking to him during my appointments. On the plus side, I do get to spend more time talking to a resident before seeing him, since it's a teaching hospital, and that helps get more questions answered. Still, some things I'd prefer to just talk directly to him about.

NorthernGal248

My UO - I strongly believe that parents need to check on their child's social media profiles! I've voiced my opinion a few times (not on here) and was told that it isn't right because even a 12 year old should be able to have privacy.

Any 12 year old kid can open themselves a tumblr, instagram, or whatever account and post the most inappropriate things, and have thousands of fallowers! If a parent is giving their child a phone and allowing them to have these accounts they need to be checking! It isn't about "respecting" your 12 year olds privacy if she is posting pictures of herself in her teeny tiny pj's and allowing any sexual predetor out there to stare, it's about her safety.

awc1986

@cbrust‌ - mine take about 10 minutes too. BP, HB, fundal height, feel my belly to check baby's position and a chat about how I'm feeling/welfare. Doesn't take long and seems pretty standard. Sometimes I'll have to have bloods taken too, but that's not at every appointment.

Empireceo

cbrust said:

KatieP71312 said:

Kageer said:

I think choosing a home birth is an irresponsible choice. You have no way of knowing what complications are going to arise that require medical attention and to waste precious minutes getting to a medical facility is minutes wasted that could be treating you or your baby.

Saluting you as another irresponsible homebirther. Lucky me that my MW is the ONLY MW in the state of Oregon who has hospital privileges so that if I transfer, she remains my primary care provider. Also lucky me, like others have stated, EVERY 1hr long prenatal appointment is spent discussing any reasons I would potentially risk out or be uncomfortable. They also visit my home, know my entire family, and delivered my last son at home.

I'm looking forward to the personal, intimate, direct care they provide. Especially the constant monitoring of me including sitting near me and checking the baby as often as required in positions that accommodate where I'm at with my labor. Also, because they KNOW me, they will know when I'm in distress and/or require a transfer. 

am I the only one that doesn't have 1hr long prenatal appointments? I swear I'm in and out of there in 10 minutes sometimes..

And there is one of the most appealing distinctions between ob and midwife. THey care for me as a whole, not as a pregnant uterus.

sisterjanet

Kimbus22 said:

cbrust said:

am I the only one that doesn't have 1hr long prenatal appointments? I swear I'm in and out of there in 10 minutes sometimes..

No.  And I'll go so far as to say that an hour long appointment at every visit sounds like it's own special sort of hell.  WTF would I talk about for an hour?  I'm out in ten minutes, 15-20 at MOST if I have questions. 

I was assuming it's part of home birth to have the longer appointments.  It sounds like if certain complications develop, you risk out, so they have to talk about that for one thing.  With a hospital birth, I feel like you're more of a burrito at Chipotle.  There's only so much personalization of your experience that is possible.  With a home birth, it seems like your birth plan matters a whole lot more, like skipping a restaurant and hiring a caterer.  (correct me if I'm wrong, home birth mamas.)

Also, yay for food metaphors except for the part where now I want a burrito.