Another sleep question: Napping

OkieMama

So, nights have finally improved a little over here. My supply is officially gone, so after a two night stay at grandmas for our anniversary weekend we decided to actually try to get him to STTN. DH is really good with DS and they are so alike he can talk to him and he gets it. He tells him mommy won't give any more milk and he won't rock anymore at bedtime. He has to lay his head down and close his eyes. (We cosleep). And after the first night of screaming all night for milk and rocking- he started to get it. A week later we were night weaned and for the first time ever sleeping (mostly) through the night! Woo hoo!

So for the first 18 months of life every time DS went to sleep it was from being nursed. Now for the past two months it's been laying his head on daddy's chest at night. Mommy has no milk so he could care less about me at bedtime now. (Another topic full of emotion for another post, another day.) So, needless to say, nap time has become utter torture. We have no sleeping skills together- without milk or DH I have no idea what I should do.

We were prepared to move him to his room and CIO if needed, but since he transitioned so well we were pleased that it wasn't necessary. If we had done that for nighttime I would've mimicked it during the day. But what DH does I can't replicate. Some days he still even bullies me into giving boob because I get so worn out. We basically rock and wrestle until he gives up. Not only is this wearing on me, but as my belly grows it won't be physically an option.

Before weaning we had some success in the toddler bed on the floor for naps, but I would lay beside him and nurse to sleep. So again, we have no real skills. Even laying on the floor super pregnant will be difficult. Not that it even works anymore without the milk factor.

First, tell me I'm not alone. Am I the only one who spoiled my baby so badly that he's still being held for almost every nap?

Also, help. How does your kid nap?
He is a strong willed boy and a ridiculously light sleeper. Even if he falls asleep in the car I can't carry him inside without him waking up. Some days I just drive around so I can let him get a full nap out.

We were talking about it yesterday and DH suggested I ask you gals which I thought was funny. We need help!

Thanks for reading all of this!

aylafsu88

Hugs. It is hard to wean and it is emotional for everyone involved. I have no great advice since my kid is a crappy sleeper for the most part.  Naps are a struggle for us but they have gotten slightly better. I read Sleep easy which had some ideas and I use them. They say to start slow and transition. If your kid always falls sleep in the car drive around to get them to fall asleep then move them to the crib. They say that over time your LO will get used to this and you can cut down the drive time until you no longer need to drive around. I know that I did that a lot with my LO. She used to wake up as soon as I would take her out of the car seat but now she will go back to sleep when I lay her down.

The other thing I do is let LO lay on me and I hold her till she falls asleep then move her to her cot for her nap. It works some days and not so good on others. We still have days where I drive her around (like yesterday) to nap but overall most days are decent. The other thing Sleep easy said is not to give up. Make sure you try for 1 hour to get your kid  to nap. Most kids will fight it for 40-50 minutes and then give in and go to sleep. So I always try for a solid hour before giving up.  I know that there are many times when I want to give up by 30 mintues but I keep at it and LO will fall asleep.

It is really hard and we struggle with naps still. Try to pick something and just keep working at it and making it a routine. It will take a couple of weeks but your LO should adjust to the new routine and give you days that are better nap days than others.

britbratjf

Dagny has never been a wonderful napper even though she's been going to sleep on her own at night for well over a year. She's reached the point where she won't really let me rock her, if I'm in there she just wants to play with me. So I read her a couple books then put her in her crib. Sometimes she plays then falls asleep, sometimes she gets upset and I have to let her cry for a bit before she falls asleep.

Does your LO have some toys in his crib? Maybe he would play some to relax before falling asleep?

At this point Dagnys resistance to naps (I think) is not wanting to stop playing or miss anything. So I have to force it or she would not nap.

OkieMama

@sarasansh I agree we need to start a routine, I'm just sort of torn on what I think would work best. I feel like if I try the toddler bed he will just get up and wander through the house, but if I close the door he will freak out, since he usually sleeps with us I don't want him to be scared that he's totally alone. I thought about putting a baby gate at his door so he can still see out and I can come peek, but still keep him contained. I also toyed with the idea of putting the crib back up (or using the pack and play) thinking that once the new baby comes he might want to revert to being a baby anyway and it may actually play in our favor. 

I just have no idea what will work best once there's another baby in the house, like where would be the best place for him: out of the way so crying newborn doesn't disturb him, or closeby so I can attend to both if needed. Sigh. I am afraid I'm going to waste all the effort to start a routine that doesn't really work best and then have to start over.

...plus part of me thinks "I only have about 4 months to soak up all the rocks and snuggles with him as my baby" so while my brain thinks it's time to train him to sleep alone, it makes my heart sad.

sarahandeddiejune212008

I have no helpful advice, but I understand your frustration. A still nurses and nurses to sleep and naps in her swing. She refuses the crib. We still haven't night weaned because I don't have the energy to fight her all night (DH works nights).