Late Term and Child Loss
shandorfml2
member
Loss check in
shandorfml2
member
Welcome to the checkin! I am sorry to have to welcome new loss moms this week but am so glad that you have found us. I hope we can bring each other some much needed comfort and support. Please feel free to join in when you are ready and share as much or as little as you wish. Also, if you have any questions you would like answered, just ask! Any lurkers out there please don't be shy, we would like to be able to support you too.
Have you taken any new steps towards healing this week?
What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal?
QOTW: Any big summer plans?
Open Topic. What is on your mind this week?
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Re: Loss check in
Honestly, not really. This week was more of a "get through the week" sort of week. We are going to go to a support group next Monday, so I guess that's something. I'm also trying to do more cooking so that we have healthy options to eat.
What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal?
Eat healthy and get back on budget financially to reduce any stress on top of basic life. This has been a strain to our bodies and pocket books (on top of the more obvious emotional side of things). The plan? I guess to actually care about tracking it again and do so. I've also started tracking what I eat and it's been a huge eye opener. Maybe I will continue that to help me realize what exactly I'm doing to my body.
QOTW: Any big summer plans?
Not really...We turned down a bunch of plans because Serenity's EDD was mid-July. Maybe we'll revisit them if we're able to. I don't know if I'm ready. We are going to Wonderland at the end of the month. Even that seems cruel. I shouldn't be able to go on rides right now, I should be pregnant.
Open Topic. What is on your mind this week?
I just feel worn. Not fatigued, or tired, just worn. Like every little thing is so much harder than it used to be and takes copious amounts of effort. I'm not sure how much is emotional (probably quite a bit) vs. physical (probably at least part of it). I feel like it takes so much effort to keep up relationships and others don't understand (how can they, how can anyone if they haven't been here), but I don't want to lose them.
Have you taken any new steps towards healing this week? Not really. I haven't been feeling very well, and work has been busy
What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal? Hmm. Continue to lose weight, and exercise.
QOTW: Any big summer plans? My family is renting a cabin on a lake about an hour from where I live. I hope to take the whole week off to be with them!
Open Topic. What is on your mind this week? Thinking a lot about Ana this week, and missing her. We drove by the cemetary but there is still a lot of snow.
My Blog
BFP# 1 7/7/12 Beautiful DD born still at 36 weeks 5 days on 3/2/13
Diagnosed with PCOS in 2005. Started Metformin July 2013
Please be our rainbow!!
**All AL Welcome**
I went to a support group for the first time and it was good I'm glad I made it there and plan to go back. I also saw my neurosurgeon and got good news that the tumor didn't grow while I was pregnant so I scheduled targeted radiation for May 5 and we can move on from there which was what we were planning to do before I found out I was pregnant.....I'm grateful that no meds and no real recovery time will be needed since it is a in and out procedure - he said I can try to get pregnant the minute I get home if I wanted (which of course we wouldn't be ready) but that too was great to hear.
What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal?
To join a gym and start that routine so I can try to get rid of the baby weight which has been a constant reminder and forcing me to still wear maternity jeans .... I also plan to buy boxes and start packing as we get the new house ready in the next few months.
QOTW: Any big summer plans?
No not really - Joseph was due July 15th so I know that will be emotionally trying and I'm dreading it. It's been hard to think about summer plans for now.
Open Topic. What is on your mind this week?
Feeling the guilt and some anger. People are moving on and acting like I should be ok .... it makes me furious like what happened is not at all significant and it's only been a bit less than 4 weeks.
What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal? Goals... goals... to stop being so angry all the time. I snap on my husband a lot and I need to quit doing that. He is hurting too. I just dont know how to deal with my emotions right now. Plus the BCP is not really helping right now
QOTW: Any big summer plans? nopers. We are going to Bermuda in May though! Hopefully we can save up to go to Alaska at the end of the summer. We canceled our trip to Nashville in June so that we could go to Bermuda instead.
Open Topic. What is on your mind this week? I can't seem to get over the friends of mine who have not said A WORD to me since Conner and Ben have died. Even my best friends have disappeared. Maybe it is because they dont know how to help me or how to deal with this, but a handful of my really close friends (two of whom stood up in our wedding) haven't said a word to me, come to see me... nothing. I am still trying to cope with that loss, as well.
What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal? No new goals yet.
QOTW: Any big summer plans? Nothing planned yet. We got pool passes again so DD and I will do that a lot. Hopefully we will go camping a lot too since we can.
Open Topic. What is on your mind this week? Last week I was feeling like everyone had forgotten us. This week my DD got a present in the mail from a friend of a friend who had heard our story and I got a few messages in the mail and online from people telling me that they were thinking of us.
Have you taken any new steps towards healing this week? Yes... what was going to be Jack's nursery has been painted the color I chose for him but will be MH's "mancave" instead. We're moving the furniture from the existing mancave to Jack's room Easter weekend. I also took out his clothes from the closet , bought Rubbermaid containers, and packed away his clothes in the basement.
Second trip, I have flight vouchers for Delta and my old college roomie and I may use them to visit my parents in TN. We're going to rent a car so we can drive and visit Nashville, Chattanooga, and Knoxville since my parents live pretty much an hour away from each city in either direction.
What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal? Next goal is to psych myself up for a FET since it should be coming up soon...hopefully. My plan to do so hasn't been drawn up just yet, its a work in progress.
QOTW: Any big summer plans? I have two nearly free vacations planned....one to South Haven, MI with MH and some friends of ours the first weekend in August to celebrate my bday. Its a friend of my MIL's house and we're getting it for free...right on the beach
Open Topic. What is on your mind this week? Just really still frustrated about my hcg levels since they wont go down. I'm not sure if they are left over still from Jack 3.5 months later or the result of a c/p that was missed. Regardless....its holding up my hysteroscopy which I need to have before even starting an FET cycle again.
NTNP 2009-2012 TTC since 2012:
Jack has handpicked his sibling up there
My blog about IF and loss ... Kate's IF Blog
What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal? So I accomplished the first part of one of my big goals today. I ran a 5k this morning! I did not keel over! And I even had a somewhat decent time, which was 3 minutes faster than my fastest run at home. I'm so exhausted! So my big(ger) goal is to do a sprint triathlon sometime this summer. I need to keep training towards that. Depending on how my running goes, maybe I'll do another 5k or even attempt a 10k at the end of May or beginning of June to help get me ready.
QOTW: Any big summer plans? Not really.
Open Topic. What is on your mind this week? I feel like I've just been a little off this week. I'm not really sure what emotions I would even call it. Hoping next week will be better!
Have you taken any new steps towards healing this week? I'm beginning to accept what has happened...slowly. For a while I had been in denial.
What is the next goal you have set for yourself? I have been putting off going to the monthly support group, I plan on attending next tues.
QOTW: Any big summer plans? We usually hit the beach or the zoo every summer.
Open Topic. What is on your mind? I don't have any photos of Emily, only u/s and i'm going to look into getting the ultrasound pic on canvas. (thanks for the inspiration @stefuge, I love what you
did with Coltons pic...beautiful)
What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal?My next goal is still the same goal: eat better & exercise, so I can get back into fighting shape for the next IVF cycle. I've been doing a little better, but there is definitely room for improvement.
QOTW: Any big summer plans? Like @chickinNH, we have a very backyard-friendly house that screams for summer get-togethers, but I'm not feeling it this year. Last Labor Day I remember watching all my friends and their babies in the pool, while I was flipping burgers on the grill. This summer was supposed to be different and we will definitely do less entertaining.
Open Topic. What is on your mind this week? *****baby/nursery/crazy-pants-related, as I don't even have the next IVF cycle planned yet***** I've been thinking about ordering the dresser that matches the crib in the nursery. I found 1 crib on Craigslist (barely used) and the plan was to order the other crib new along with the dresser.
TTC since 10/2010
IUIs # 1-5 = BFFN
IVF # 1(July 2012) = BFN
IVF # 2 (November 2012) = BFP (MIssed MC D&C @ 8w3d on 1/10/13)
What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Focus on eating I have to remember to eat. and get counseling.
Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal? I want to find a counselor and support group the list at the hospital seems to be too much but I did get a card. So maybe I'll call them.
QOTW: Any big summer plans? Maybe I'll sign up for those races I wanted to do but could not.
Open Topic. What is on your mind this week? I'm very upset over the D and C which had to be done to remove my twins and not being able to kiss them or hold them.
Christopher and Michael "born" sleeping 4/3/2014 @ 14 weeks
What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal?
QOTW: Any big summer plans?
Open Topic. What is on your mind this week?
Have you taken any new steps towards healing this week? I'm not sure. Right now it still seems that I am living day to day. There are really hard days and there are easier days. I'm hoping to see more easier days as time goes on, but I'm not there yet. I have been able to get out and start (slowly) running/walking. I'm hoping that getting outside and getting some exercise will help with healing. Hopefully this will also help me to lose some pregnancy weight, which I hope also helps. However, sometimes I think I want to keep my pregnancy weight just because it is a reminder that she was real and she was with me. Other times I can't wait to get it off though because of the reminder she isn't with me now. Can you see my emotions are still all over the place?
What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal? This week I need to work through my son going back to the sitter on a normal schedule, while I'll be home alone. I also have my follow up with my OB and a dinner out with friends whom I haven't seen since my loss. My plan is to just do it and get through it. However, it's ok with me if I cry a lot while I do any of the above. I will allow myself to feel my emotions as they come and when they come. If I need to leave dinner early, that is also fine. Hopefully, the people I am around will understand (knowing them they likely will), but if they don't that is okay too. This is about what I need to do right now, not about what them.
QOTW: Any big summer plans? Well, since things are going to be very different than what we planned, we are hoping to make the most of this summer. We are now planning to spend a week at a beach. We just have to pick where. We're looking at somewhere outside of Charleston or Outerbanks. We've also considered Florida and even flying to Mexico. Anyone have any great places they know of? We will also spend a lot of time at our community pool and then spend another week at our family cottage on a lake in Michigan. The Michigan trip will be hard for me though, because that is where and when I found out I was pregnant last year.
Open Topic. What is on your mind this week? Continuing to come to terms with our new reality.
Yesterday I went into work to get a few things I can work on from home (I'm a teacher so there isn't much). It was nice to see my coworkers and some of my students. I also bought some clothes so that I could get out of my maternity clothes. They just make me sad.
What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal?
I keep meaning to join weight watchers to control my emotional eating but I haven't done it yet. I want to get back down to my pre -pregnancy weight. I also want to start baby Ben's scrapbook. My plan is to start that Thursday.
QOTW: Any big summer plans? This is what I struggle with. This summer was supposed to be spent adjusting to two kids.
Open Topic. What is on your mind this week?