Hello-I've been lurking on this board for the past few weeks and have decided to try becoming active to hopefully help in the healing process.
My beautiful daughter Fiona Grace was born on March 19th via emergency c-section. She lived for about 12 hours before passing away in the nicu on March 20th. I was 25 weeks at the time. This was a textbook pregnancy and the only issue noted on our 20 week US was a partial previa. The OB said this was no big deal but scheduled a follow up US for a few weeks later. It was at that US that they discovered what they thought to be some sort of mass behind her lungs and around her spleen. However, at that point, she still had a strong heartbeat and though my MFM didn't really know the cause, we did a host of lab work, scheduled a fetal MRI and arranged for a follow up US early the following week. It was at that next US that everything took a turn for the worse. Her spleen was now grossly enlarged and fluid was now seen around her heart. They also suspected fetal anemia so I was admitted immediately to L&D for a fetal blood transfusion(this is done similarly to an amniocentesis and despite the epidural, was quite painful). Even this procedure went well and I was in recovery while the doctors spoke to my husband and I about the next steps. Before I knew what was going on, Fiona's heart rate dropped and I was rushed into an emergency c-section with general anesthesia. Fiona Grace was born 1lb 4 oz and was immediately incubated and taken to the nicu.
I found out later that she required resuscitation twice before I was able physically to go see her. But, we did get to hold her, bathe her, and have her baptized before she passed. She actually passed away on my chest as I held her and talked to her. She was so beautiful and was already looking like her big sister, my 2 year old Claire.
Since then, things have been such a blur. We had her services a week ago and we were also give a final cause of her death; active CMV infection. I'm still struggling with physical recovery from the c-section and I don't think I have scratched the surface of emotional healing. I apologize for such a long intro, but this is the first time I've really written out Fiona's birth story and it feels strangely good to share her story.