Transition to Working Mom

TNChick

Hi all! I am currently a sahm to two kids (16 months and 3 years), and I am currently in an interview process for a school counseling position. I am in the final round and I was told that I am the only remaining candidate and that this last interview is merely a hoop (but we all know that does t necessarily mean anything). I am so overwhelmed at the thought of being a working mom. I have found a school for the kids, but there is a waiting list. The position won't start until August, and I have no idea if/when my kids will get accepted. How do you plan for that?! I really wasn't planning on working again so soon, but this opportunity is too perfect to pass up. Any advice for a new working mom? Hire a cleaning lady? When do you grocery shop, get hair cuts, etc? I am always busy as a sahm, and I can't imagine adding "work full time" to that list! I guess I just needed to talk to some working moms and hear success stories about how your lives run. I am excited to begin my career, but nervous about it ALL. Hope you will have me

TNChick

Also, ignore the broken sig. I haven't been on the bump in a while!

djm31012

its normal to be nervous and overwhelmed. it can be stressful! the easiest way to deal with it is to be organized. Everyone on here will tell you: outsource as much as you can afford....and do as much the night before as you possibly can. we have a cleaning lady every other week...i do most of my food shopping on sunday mornings and a lot of meal prep for the week on sundays during DS's afternoon nap. I have also used fresh  direct/ pea pod on a number of occassions if i just cant or dont want to go to the store. Meal planning and freezer meals are also key--good to do on a slow friday at work or saturday morning. Haircuts for me are only once every 3 mos, so I usually go on a saturday, but occassionally i will take a day off, bring DS to day care and get a bunch of things done...then pick him up by 2 so we still get a bulk of the day together. you will make it work. good luck!

KL777

Welcome!  I SAH the first three years also.  My recommendation would be to change your bedtime. I go to bed a whole lot earlier than I did as a SAHM.  Also, be sure your DH does his share around the house now that the both of you will be working FT.

I cook one meal on the weekend for S, M, T, and DH cooks one meal W for W and R.  On the weekends we typically eat out.

Lay your clothes and DCs clothes out for the entire week, it makes for a smoother morning. I hope congratulations on the job are in order for the near future!

TNChick

Thanks ladies! At least it is an education position, so the hours are easy. I will be lurking around here to learn about day cares, etc. I also imagine that I will have to lower some of my expectations or I will drive myself crazy cleaning!

mlee116

All of the PP's gave good advice.  I don't outsource anything right now, mostly because we're cheap and I'm kind of anal too.  But honestly, housework only overwhelms me occasionally because I do a little each day so its not a big huge undertaking.  

Meal planning is a big helper because it helps the evenings go so much smoother.  We do really easy meals during the week (crockpot meals, very simple recipes, etc), so we spend very little time actually cooking.  I do haircuts and errands on my lunch break.  DH is a teacher so he runs some errands with DS after he gets him from daycare.  We grocery shop on the weekends, usually as part of our family time or sometimes I'll go during DS's nap.

I totally agree that organization is key.  I feel like the more organized I am, the less time I waste trying to find stuff, etc. and the more happy everyone is because we aren't all stressed trying to get out the door.  Good luck and congrats!

jf198400

RE: daycare, I would ask them how long the wait is, they should be able to give you a timeframe. They usually move kids up to new classrooms at the start of the school year, so I'm guessing you won't have a problem. Make sure you find a backup option though in case you don't have a spot there in time. Your kids are at a great age for daycare. Mine are 2 and 3.5 and they both love school.

If possible see if you and your DH can split dropoff and pickup duty. I have to do both everyday and it is very hard. I have a cleaning service every 2 weeks and it is a life saver. Somehow I managed without them for 2yrs, but my house was basically dirty all the time and I just lived with it. Cook big meals on the weekend so you can eat leftovers during the week. Also since you have a lot of time before you start your job, start making freezer meals for later.

Tink112011

I think the easiest answer is to lower your expectations.

Learn to be OK with PB&Js for dinner once in a while.  Learn to be OK with a slighlty messier house (if you don't outsource it).  Identify your priorities and let the others go!

TNChick

Any tips on preparing my youngest for daycare? She has never been out of my care, and I can't imagine her napping on a mat, etc! Also, dh would be doing drop off, so I m glad to hear that that will be easier. I am a bit nervous about the wait list. I visited alllllll the centers, and it is the only one that I thought was acceptable. I really hope we can get them in. They said it was probable but not guaranteed.

TheBorg7of9

TNChick said:

Any tips on preparing my youngest for daycare? She has never been out of my care, and I can't imagine her napping on a mat, etc! Also, dh would be doing drop off, so I m glad to hear that that will be easier. I am a bit nervous about the wait list. I visited alllllll the centers, and it is the only one that I thought was acceptable. I really hope we can get them in. They said it was probable but not guaranteed.

Do not worry about daycare. In my opinion, you can't prepare a kid for daycare because you don't know what the challenges will be until you try. The daycare will know how to get your kid adjusted - they've done it a hundred times.

nosoup4u

My kids were about the same age as yours when I went back to work. It was a hard transition at first, and I think it was hardest on me. We had some childcare snafus this last summer (I teach), but it always seems to work itself out. Maybe look for alternatives just in case now.

Make sure your DH is pulling his weight. There's no way I could work FT if my DH didn't help out with the kids and meals, etc. It's physically impossible for me to be in charge of meals, packing lunches and getting kids ready in the AM. We switch off meal planning and cooking, and I get clothes out for the next day and pack lunches, while DH cleans the kitchen.

Meal plan religiously! I go grocery shopping Sat or Sun mornings first thing, and we try and cook an extra meal on Sunday for leftovers. The thing I miss most about SAHM is being able to get errands done during weekdays.

mlee116

They will adjust to daycare just fine.  Kids are amazing at adapting and learning from the other kids.  DS started right before he turned one and would not nap more than 30 mins and it took forever to get him down.  By week 2 of daycare, he'd lay down in his crib and even on a mat and go to sleep for an hour or more.  

The first few days were a little rough at drop off because it was all new and strange, but he quit crying moments after I left and had fun.  He grew to love his teacher and friends in a very short time!

Another thing about splitting pickups/dropoffs, I think its a good thing also bc it helps both parents be "connected" with what is going on at school.  During times when only me or DH were doing it all, the other one felt like we had no clue what was going on at DS's school.  Its good for both parents to see the teachers, the class, the environment, etc if you can make it work. Plus it takes the pressure off of one parent.  It's tough to do all the pickups and dropoffs.