final pathology results

lrichmond86

I had my IUD put in today (difficult to begin with since it kind of symbolizes the end of my having children) and my OB had the final pathology results.  The doctors were all wrong.  Riley did NOT have down syndrome.  In fact, there were NO chromosomal abnormalities... NO abnormalities at all.  Our baby was perfect.  Just like baby Gary was.  Which means that our baby died because of a problem with the placenta.  Just like baby Gary did.  For a second time, MY body's failure to function the way it's supposed to caused my baby's death.  I'm not doing well, with any of this.  I'm just hurting and angry and tired.  And feeling like a huge downer to everyone around me.  I called DH to tell him and completely lost it on him on the phone.  He definitely didn't deserve it and I've emailed him at work to apologize, but I have such feelings of anger and resentment toward him that we haven't even begun to deal with, this news just kind of put me over the edge.  Ugh.  I'm so sick of having crappy things happen.

JessicaG220

**siggy warning**

Oh hun, I am so, so sorry to hear this.  It is so unfair.  I can't imagine the pain that you're experiencing.  I know it's easier said than done, but try not to torture yourself by blaming your losses on your body failing.  You did everything you consciously could to protect your baby.  You are a good mother and nothing you did caused this to happen.  Trust me, I spent a LOT of time blaming myself and my body for the cord accident that caused Ava's death, but I have finally started to accept that it was not my fault. 

Please take care and be gentle on yourself.  I am sending you soooo many hugs.

bunnybun4

I am so, so sorry you are having to deal with all of this.  I honestly can't imagine.  Please be gentle on yourself.  ((hugs))

VyD81

I'm so sorry. Hugs.

dadalou

Remember that blaming yourself will not bring them back. You didn't do anything wrong. ((Hugs))

ikrystal

I"m so sorry.  I blame my body all the time too but it helps to remember how much we loved and still love our babies.  No way in hell did we consciously make this happen.  ((hugs))

stefuge

I am so so sorry. I blame myself all the time. Doesn't really do anything or help at all, but I get it. I'm sorry. Big ((hugs)).

erinel

I am so sorry.  I know it's hard, but don't blame yourself.  You would have never tried to do anything to hurt your babies, you are not to blame.

kz's_girlygirl

I am so so sorry getting unexpected news is so difficult, especially when you thought you already had answers. I know nothing can really help- but it truly is not your fault at all.

When embryos form and become blastocysts the inner cell mass contains stem cells that will eventually form the baby's body. The outer cell structure will become the placenta-from the beginning there is nothing you can or can not do to influence it.

I'm thinking of you and your beautiful babies and sending out comforting thoughts during this time.

ikrystal

kz's_girlygirl said:

I am so so sorry getting unexpected news is so difficult, especially when you thought you already had answers. I know nothing can really help- but it truly is not your fault at all. When embryos form and become blastocysts the inner cell mass contains stem cells that will eventually form the baby's body. The outer cell structure will become the placenta-from the beginning there is nothing you can or can not do to influence it. I'm thinking of you and your beautiful babies and sending out comforting thoughts during this time.

Yes, this exactly.  Well said. 

luckyclover0922

I am sorry. Hugs to you...

Noethola

So very sorry honey, so very very sorry you are dealing with this.

shandorfml2

ikrystal said:

kz's_girlygirl said:

I am so so sorry getting unexpected news is so difficult, especially when you thought you already had answers. I know nothing can really help- but it truly is not your fault at all. When embryos form and become blastocysts the inner cell mass contains stem cells that will eventually form the baby's body. The outer cell structure will become the placenta-from the beginning there is nothing you can or can not do to influence it. I'm thinking of you and your beautiful babies and sending out comforting thoughts during this time.

Yes, this exactly.  Well said. 

Love this.

Huge hugs sweetie, I am so sorry.

lrichmond86

Thank you for all of your thoughts.  Thankfully I was seeing my therapist tonight anyway, and I'm feeling a little more at peace now.  I'm sure I'll feel these feelings again, but for tonight I'm better. 

Jellybean71514

So sorry you're dealing with this - you loved your babies so there is no way this is your fault. I know physically we may feel our bodies failed us but I sometimes think of all of the women who purposely do things that can harm their babies while they're pregnant..... WE are not them and WE would have done anything to prevent this so it is not our fault. My T&Ps are with you today, I'm glad you had your therapy appt tonight to lean into during this. xo

OSUWifey09

***TICKER***





I wish there was more I could say than I'm sorry. I'm glad you got to talk to someone last night and feel OK about the news for now. Sending lots of thoughts, prayers and hugs.

jbranden12

((HUGS))

milb11

I'm so sorry. I can't imagine how difficult this has been for you. It's just not fair. As women, it is supposed to be our God given right to have our babies. It is inherent to our body's design. I often fee like my body failed me too, like something is wrong with me, but agree with PP, there was nothing you could have done. *hugs*

kflynn81

I'm so sorry... finding out our son had no chromosomal issues was tough as well. Its so extremely hard when you don't have clear cut answers as to why this all happens. But like PP said, there wasn't anything you did or didn't do to make it happen. ((hugs))