Hate attention from pregnancy?

roxyu

I want to be very clear that I am thrilled to have a 3rd baby on the way, and am so excited to meet him/her (in about 6 months).  However, I HATE being asked 50 times a day "How are you feeling?" (same people, same question, every.single.day),  "You look sooo cute!", or "Look at your little bump!" (especially when said in a baby voice!).  I know people are just trying to be nice, but for whatever reason it drives me f-ing nuts!  I can't help it, and I know that I sound like a complete bitch, but I have to 'say' it out loud!  I hate feeling like I'm being stared at all the time and I am certainly not ok with people trying to touch my belly-EVER. I have a few months to go and I'm afraid I might king fu someone's ass if this keeps up! Am I alone?

bf43005

I agree with all of that and add in there that now apparently I'm completely incapable of doing anything.  And I don't mean from DH cause he knows I will let him know if it's too much for me.  Family and some people at work think I can't lift, clean, move, or do anything.  Meanwhile the Dr. is excited when he calls the house and I'm not there cause I'm at the gym.  Not sure what people think I do at the gym since most of the comments come from people who know I go and have been for two years, so it's nothing new. 

nickielachickie

I think the worst is they expect you to be the typical "happy pregnant lady dancing monkey".  

Now like you I am SUPER EXCITED to have a baby. But, it's kind of hard to play the excited pregnant lady when you feel like someone is kicking you in your lady bits, or you just got a whiff of someone's BO and you are trying to keep lunch down, or all the aches and pains are just plain annoying that day. And if you don't play the part apparently it's your fault that everyone is uncomfortable because you didn't respond to their "yay it is a BABY" comment with the same enthusiasm.

beccam1230

I felt this way after awhile too. I always appreciated people being concerned about how I was feeling and what was going on but if I had to answer one of those questions one more time by the end of my pregnancy, I was going to explode. I actually started to avoid some people because all they wanted to talk about was me and my pregnancy. My husband asked me everyday how I was feeling and he was the only one who did that who didn't drive me crazy.

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BlckRoses

I totally understand.  I hate being the center of attention and it makes me uncomfortable when people look at my body and comment on it.  It is annoying when people ask my everyday how I'm feeling, but I just smile and say fine.  I have had 2 people so far touch my belly, but it's just something people do for some reason.  I'm taking the grin and bear it approach.

at931902

I do understand what you mean. While you appreciate the graciousness of people being concerned, there is so such a thing as over-concerned.  Growing up in a rural area, I'm used to working hard all the time. I'm in my 19th week with my first little bean and after awhile the comments about my level of cuteness, ability to gain weight or how I should/should not be feeling start to weigh me a lot. I got done working an after work event and was actually verbally accosted because I was lifting and moving things.

Here's how I look at it. Even in this day and age, we're still terrified of pregnancy. Anything Prego ingests, physical activity or even not being active enough scares the populace at large. Good old common sense is a beautiful thing. Take it for what it's worth and try not to punch anyone. They mean well. Plus, you have the right to say "I'm just not feelin' it today" and change the subject. But no kung fu just yet. Save that for the annoying nurse in the delivery room later on.
)

cMichelle0423

roxyu said:

I want to be very clear that I am thrilled to have a 3rd baby on the way, and am so excited to meet him/her (in about 6 months).  However, I HATE being asked 50 times a day "How are you feeling?" (same people, same question, every.single.day),  "You look sooo cute!", or "Look at your little bump!" (especially when said in a baby voice!).  I know people are just trying to be nice, but for whatever reason it drives me f-ing nuts!  I can't help it, and I know that I sound like a complete bitch, but I have to 'say' it out loud!  I hate feeling like I'm being stared at all the time and I am certainly not ok with people trying to touch my belly-EVER. I have a few months to go and I'm afraid I might king fu someone's ass if this keeps up! Am I alone?

Yupp sounds terrible to have people who are happy for you and care about how you're doing. I bet some of those women on the TTC boards are annoyed with people trying to be supportive of them too.

yvanehtnioj

I heard that once the baby is out, mom is all but pushed aside while people scramble to Ooooh! and Aaaah! over the new baby. So I'll take it while it lasts But I am a bit uncomfortable with the attention, so I just keep it short with "Feeling great." etc. And also, you can't beat people getting the fuck out of your way when you're walking down the street or on public transportation. Love it!

Everyusernameistaken

Bliss+Berry said:

Yeah.  How horrible it must be to have people care about you and be nice.  

To answer the OP, no.  But I'm pleasant and gracious, so people asking about my or my babies' well being is something I enjoy.  

I totally agree! I have major social anxiety so I do get a bit blush-y, but I appreciate people taking an interest. I also love talking baby and pregnancy stuff so I guess I'm being annoying by always asking my pg friends how they're doing and complimenting their bumps. Meh.

chevronseven

For the most part I like the attention, but the "how are you feeling" does get kind of old. I'm super nice and gracious with my responses, though, because I know if someone is asking me that they obviously care and mean well. ("Great, he's kicking up a storm in there!") But it does grate on my nerves just the teensiest bit, mostly because I feel like they were trying to initiate a conversation about the pregnancy and I just don't really have anywhere else to go with it from there. The responses I would really want to give are most likely more information than the asker was looking for. ("Well, my nipples are getting darker, so that's weird." or "Sex is so much harder now!" or "This baby has me really gassy lately.") But I will talk to you all day long about how the nursery is coming along though!

roxyu

livelaughlove88 said:

But I will talk to you all day long about how the nursery is coming along though!

Absolutely this, because it's not about me!  I just don't enjoy being the center of attention and I'm a pretty private person.  I feel that my pregnancy is special to my husband and my family, but I don't like to make a big deal about it to anyone else.

Crazypregoseverywhere

Bliss+Berry said:

Yeah.  How horrible it must be to have people care about you and be nice.  

To answer the OP, no.  But I'm pleasant and gracious, so people asking about my or my babies' well being is something I enjoy.  

Umm.... you're not even pregnant weirdo. So again.... for the what 5th time... why are you answering PREGNANT questions? You seriously need a life....

Crazypregoseverywhere

Bliss+Berry said:

Yeah.  How horrible it must be to have people care about you and be nice.  

To answer the OP, no.  But I'm pleasant and gracious, so people asking about my or my babies' well being is something I enjoy.  

wow... you really do go on here everyday. I just looked at your pathetic profile. HA!

Craycatlady22

:P ummmmmmmm....

chevronseven

Crazypregoseverywhere said:

Bliss+Berry said:

Yeah.  How horrible it must be to have people care about you and be nice.  

To answer the OP, no.  But I'm pleasant and gracious, so people asking about my or my babies' well being is something I enjoy.  

Umm.... you're not even pregnant weirdo. So again.... for the what 5th time... why are you answering PREGNANT questions? You seriously need a life....


Actually I'm pretty sure she is. She's on my BMB and there was just a post congratulating her on finding out she's having a girl. Even if she wasn't, though, she has been in the past and can offer that experience in answer to pregnant questions and discussions.

cMichelle0423

Crazypregoseverywhere said:

Bliss+Berry said:

Yeah.  How horrible it must be to have people care about you and be nice.  

To answer the OP, no.  But I'm pleasant and gracious, so people asking about my or my babies' well being is something I enjoy.  

Umm.... you're not even pregnant weirdo. So again.... for the what 5th time... why are you answering PREGNANT questions? You seriously need a life....



@Crazypregoseverywhere‌ who said you have to be currently pregnant to reply to a post? She's been pregnant before so wouldn't it make sense that she can give out pregnancy advice? You're ridiculous. Why are you so concerned with Bliss' activity on here any way?

nickielachickie

mamakate12345 said:

Nope, its annoying.  Especially when its someone who you know doesn't really care.  Like yesterday, son's friend's dad asked me, as if I'm going to tell him about my pelvic pain or hemorroids...My answer is always, "I feel great" no matter what the truth is.  But I don't mind if it comes from my mom or sister who I know actually care and I feel like I can actually tell them if something is really bothering me. 

Exactly!  Do they want to hear how every day there's something I'm struggling with whether it's a random bout of insomnia, lack of appetite, severe hunger, aches and pains, hemorrhoids, pooped like 5 times in a day, haven't pooped in 5 days.

All they want to hear is the happy pregnant lady answer.  And frankly, some days I don't have the energy to give a shit about them and lie, and then I'm the asshole who made them upset.  GRR!  

Sorry - pent up rage!

Greenmood

I normally give off an excellent f*** you vibe when I'm not feeling chatty. I don't have a bump yet, but I'm hoping that my resting frowny face will help most people maintain their own self control once it's obvious I'm pregnant.

ETA: everyone has a right to feel how they feel about attention in pregnancy. While I don't advocate being a bitch, there are ways to deflect attention and make it clear you're not in the mood to talk without hurting someone's feelings.

awc1986

I actually appreciate the concern and I think people should be grateful for it. Heaven forbid people are actually NICE to you! What's all that about?!
Seriously, if you don't want to talk then give one word answers, but being pregnant is not a "get out of jail free card" to be rude.
I'm traditionally the kind of person who gets passed over and forgotten by others, so I'm actually enjoying the fact that people want to help me and are taking an interest. I have 4 more weeks until I'm put on the back burner forever, so I'll take it.

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momthatlifts

When I lived with my MIL I would purposely do everything in my power to avoid making physical contact with her because she would always ask me how I was feeling. It's sweet, of course, knowing she is genuinely concerned for my well being and I appreciate the gesture but it is extremely annoying when it's done every day, more than once a day. Constantly asking me what I've had to eat ect. It's just something you're going to have to get used to because it doesn't end.

nilvero

I'm glad that people do care, but I hate being the center of attention so the questions do get to me. I know they're going to keep coming, so I just try to answer them as graciously as possible!

Greenmood

Bliss+Berry said:

I normally give off an excellent f*** you vibe when I'm not feeling chatty. I don't have a bump yet, but I'm hoping that my resting frowny face will help most people maintain their own self control once it's obvious I'm pregnant.

ETA: everyone has a right to feel how they feel about attention in pregnancy. While I don't advocate being a bitch, there are ways to deflect attention and make it clear you're not in the mood to talk without hurting someone's feelings.

@Greenmood‌ - Ugh. You are completely contradicting yourself here. Honestly, I think this attitude is a huge problem in society today. How hard is it to just be polite and pleasant? I mean someone is concerned about your well being and your response is to shed off a fuck you vibe because you aren't feeling chatty? That's fucked up and pretty asshole-y. For what's it's worth, you are completely advocating being a bitch. Being pregnant does not entitle you to treat others around you poorly. Sorrynotsorry.

I didn't say it does. I explained something that occurs naturally in my life. It doesn't mean I turn into a snarling animal when someone asks how my day is going. And, for what it's worth, it certainly predates my pregnancy. Not everyone is a Chatty Cathy, and that doesn't change just because we've started growing new humans.

Don't call me an asshole. I haven't done anything to anyone, certainly not you. Maybe you wouldn't like me if you met me in real life, but I doubt it.

MagicInTheMidnightSun

I try really hard not to be snotty about it but sometimes it does just get repetitive when certain people ask the exact same things every day. It's just because I'm someone who usually keeps to myself and I'm not used to people asking about personal stuff. It definitely is a blessing to have so much extra support from friends and family though, no question

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PrimRoseMama

I honestly think you sound really self centered. People are being nice. How fucking dare they!

Greenmood

Bliss+Berry said

My point is, why is it necessary to give off a "fuck you" vibe because you don't feel like chatting? Why would you want to give off a "fuck you" vibe to someone who is inquiring after you or your baby? No one is saying you have to be a perpetual Suzy Sunshine, but isn't there a happy medium between that and fuck you or fuck off? Yes, there is, it's called being civil and polite. And if you think that your "excellent fuck you vibe" is deserved just because you don't feel like being chatty, then you kind of are an asshole. Backtrack all you want, but those are your words.

I think I am civil. But I don't mind if random strangers breezing through my office look at me, determine I'm pregnant, and also decide not to engage me about it because they get the sense that I'm not into chatting. I'd rather that than have those same people distracting me from my work and trying to touch me, which is a very uncomfortable concept for me. If they plow through the vibe and ask anyway, it's not like I'm gonna slap their hands or shout. So what's wrong with not encouraging it to begin with? What do you imagine this vibe looks like that so offends you?

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roxyu

Let me be clear, I try my best to smile and give a polite response even when I want to scream.  It's my third pregnancy while working for the same company.  Imagine almost 2 years (the amount of time I've been pregnant) of being asked the same questions over and over every day, and then tell me you wouldn't be ready to pull your own hair out.