Doctor follow up

Jellybean71514

So I had my follow up today, I went in about 2 weeks after losing Joseph so this is actually my second follow up 3 1/2 weeks after my loss. The doctor said all is healing really well, small bit of fluid and tissue left but he's confident it will make it's way out in about 7-10 days- he also thinks I will see AF in another few weeks - he then tells me I don't need to go back until my next regular PAP or when I'm pregnant again?! Does that make sense?? I also asked about the hospital tests and he said all came back normal- no infection, nothing was wrong and that these things just happen. I questioned him and he said I'm welcome to see a specialist.... I'm stumped and my fiancé said to just accept that there is nothing wrong and that he doesn't understand why I need to have a reason why this happened. I do want to TTC again and now having them tell me there's no reason why I lost my baby scares the daylights out of me because I don't know how to help prevent it from happening again... Any advice? We plan to see a high risk doc but this still is so frustrating .... Thanks for listening. Xo

dadalou

I was basically told the same thing. I do know why Nathaniel died, but the chance of it happening again to me is minuscule. My doctor wants us to see a specialist before we get pregnant again just in case. Probably we would have lots of extra appointments and monitoring with another pregnancy.

Jellybean71514

@dadalou‌ I will definitely be going to see a specialist, right now I can't digest that this happened for no reason but I know I can be diligent to take extra precautions if we are blessed again with a rainbow thanks for listening xo

stefuge

Have you had any genetic testing done? I apologize for not remembering the cause of your loss, but we had a bunch of tests done after our loss, and our doctor implied it was pretty standard after a Stillbirth. In our case, they never determined a cause and told us our risk of another Stillbirth was only slightly higher and I would be high risk and closely monitored with a future pregnancy.

jonahsma

Im sorry... Hugs

gracie5107

I agree that it is absolutely terrible to not know why this happened.  And I am sorry the answer is not more clear for you.  However, I will put a slightly positive spin on the news.  It is better than finding out the result is something that is likely to repeat itself.  This way, the odds are likely that this will not happen again. 

ikrystal

I'm so sorry.  My doctor told me that most people never find out a reason for their loss.  I know that there is little comfort in that, though.  I hope that when you see a specialist, it can put you more at ease. 

Jellybean71514

@stefuge‌ they did a lot of tests based on the afterbirth but no my fiancé and I haven't has any separate tests since then I suppose the high risk doctor can help with that when we are ready to TTC again- my water broke suddenly I had no contractions but they did say my cervix was slightly open when I got to the hospital they're also claiming it's not IC but is like a second opinion on all of this- I hate to be a Debbie Downer and dig for a problem but I want to make absolutely sure nothing is left untreated if there's an issue I can manage now before trying again-
@jonahsma‌ hugs back xoxo
@gracie5107‌ that is exactly what my fiancé said and I do agree as well just want to make sure they check for everything I guess

Jellybean71514

@ikrystal‌ thank you so much I hope another doctor can help even if I get the same feedback - xo

gracie5107

@jellybean71514 I definitely agree with getting a second opinion if you have any doubts that you could find a cause or to just have it reconfirmed that everything already has been done.  I would definitely want someone else to confirm that it wasn't IC, because that is something that could be treated next time. 

We are pretty sure our loss was due to an umbilical cord accident, but after my follow up with the Obgyn I still plan on consulting with MFM to ensure there is nothing else we should be investigating. 

Hugs to you!

bunnybun4

hope you get some answers soon  ((hugs))

Jellybean71514

@marylaurena‌ thank you *hugs* back

mingaling2

Sounds normal to me. We did genetic testing prior, but there was still no "reason" found for our stillbirth.

shandorfml2

They found no reasons for Ana's death either. Unfortunately, I think thats common. I had a bunch of testing, as did Ana's placenta. Nothing found. Like @stefuge we were told the chances are slim of it happening again (our doc compared it to lightning striking) but slightly elevated. I will be closely monitored next pregnancy, and will be induced at 37 weeks.

((hugs))

shandorfml2

and, after my follow up at 6 weeks we don't go back until my pap (which is due this month) or pregnancy. If I don't get KU this cycle I'm making an appointment for my pap and to discuss fertility.

LyndseyTS

Not having answers makes things worse. We know why we lost Serenity (Turner's Syndrome), but there is no "cause" for Turner Syndrome other than a chromosome "fluke" and our risk is no higher for the next pregnancy (if there is one) than it was for Serenity's. I'm grateful for that, but it's frustrating to feel powerless. Hoping for more answers for you - I would get a second opinion too.

Maybe Joleisa

I think you are very wise to either consult or be followed by a MFM doc next time. I feel like the 'crazy IC lady', but a lot of times docs won't diagnose IC, because they weren't checking for it in the first place. (Seems to be the norm; they were only checking mine, because of twins.) An OB will likely watch you closer next time, but I'd bet a MFM would want to place a preventative cerclage in you around 13w. If your waters didn't break due to infection, they could have broke due to funneling.

Keep us posted on your second opinion.

Jellybean71514

Thank you all for your replies - I know I need to come to terms with not ever getting a clear answer to why this happened but will find more comfort having a MFM monitor me more closely if we are blessed with a rainbow in the future xo
@shandorfml2‌ - blowing baby dust your way xo

shandorfml2

Thanks @Jellybean71514 and just an FYI, some people, particularly on TTCAL don't like the term baby dust, because of the relation to cremation. I don't mind it, but just incase wanted you to be aware some do. I noticed it was in the ttcal check in on our page so I will probably change that.

Jellybean71514

Oh I can totally understand that ok thanks for the heads up so I wont do that again !!