XP Accomplishments...NBR

StacyLH24

I am actively fighting depression right now. This is the first that I'm even admitting that. I have battled depression before, so I can recognize my early warning signs, thankfully.

I am proud of myself for coming home and working in my flower gardens for almost 2 hours tonight. For the past several days I just want to be awake at night and sleep during the day. I cannot give in to that. I wasn't planning on being active at all after work. I'm not sure where the motivation came from, maybe the nice weather we finally have. Wherever it came from, I got home, changed my clothes and the dogs and I were out for almost two hours. I got a lot accomplished and it felt great. I'm sure I will be sore tomorrow!

Now it is off to bed. Back to Buffalo tomorrow to start for our 5th IUI. I can do this!

ball.and.chain

Yes you can! TTC and miscarriage brought out depression in me too. Keep taking care of yourself and don't hesitate to get more help if you need it!

trisholio

Enjoy your accomplishments!  I have battled depression most of my life and that is great you are recognizing it so early.  Enjoy the small things, focus on the good things and don't beat yourself up for the days you spend on the couch.  Lots of hugs and positive thoughts being sent your way.

pauljl

Sending you so many positive thoughts. I too am impressed that you know yourself so well. Take care of yourself and reach out when you need- whether it's in person or right here!

firstcomeslove2013

I think a lot of us can understand your pain. Please use our community as support and let us help you...sometimes just getting it out there can help and we are all here for you...a lot of us have or are experiencing the TTC blahs...I'm glad to hear you are reaching out others and looking for the support you need and deserve...

Jazibel

I'm proud of you for getting out there and working on your garden.  It's so tough when even doing the things we love seems like a struggle or a stretch.  Good luck on this next round.  I'm keeping my FX for a bfp in the near future for you.

In the meantime hugs!

doodah1013

This journey just sucks... Until it doesn't... And then even when you the sucking is finally is going to be over sometimes, it just keeps sucking.

I know you have not had the easiest path, and I tip my hat to you for your courage. I don't think we talk enough about the courage of continuing to TTC even when we have faced so many hurdles and heart breaks. I think sometimes we forget that we choose to keep going... I think that this is an act of bravery!

One day at a time... No matter what... Tomorrow you will be one step closer to your take home baby... Whether that comes from IUI or IVF, or otherwise... If you keep being brave it will happen.

Enjoy your garden... And the spring weather. My thoughts are with you!

StacyLH24

Thanks everyone. We just got done at the RE's office. Everything looks good to get started again. I just have to wait until later to find out how much Gonal-F I'm starting with. I got my script for progesterone inserts as well. I'll be stocking up on panty liners .

I have been debating going public on FB with our TTC issues. I don't plan to post frequently about anything. I just thought about putting it out there that we have been trying, are still trying and that it has been a difficult road.

When we first started, I wanted to keep it mostly quiet so that we weren't constantly having to answer questions. My perspective has changed a little since then. Infertility and trouble TTC isn't something that is really talked about. I am forever grateful for the support of this board and now the support over on TTTC. I don't know if any of my FB friends are having TTC problems, but what if someone is and they are traveling this path alone? No one should have to travel it alone. I'm going to give it some more thought and talk it over with C.

KH826

I am so sorry to hear that you are struggling, but so glad to hear that you recognize the early signs and are taking steps to help yourself get to a better place. Huge hugs to you! We are all hear for you to listen and support when you need it.

And I am so very glad that your RE visit went well this morning and that you are on track to try again this month. I will be thinking of you and C and sending lots of positive vibes your way!

JGY

Wow, that's an awesome accomplishment, I'm so glad that you got out there yesterday for 2 hours!  But as others above have mentioned, don't beat yourself up on the days when you just can't get there, and don't hesitate to reach out for help if/when you need it.

Glad to hear things went well at the RE today.  Here's to kicking off this next cycle on the right foot!

Also, if you want more gardening work, please feel free to stop by Minneapolis when you're out running errands, I have TONS that you could help with! 

 

2momsinCA

That's awesome that you got out in the garden for 2 hours yesterday! I know that gardening, generally feeling productive, can be a huge help. Fight that urge to become nocturnal! During my most relentlessly hopeless times of ttc I would get serious bouts of insomnia which would knock me down in so many ways. I'm a new member so I haven't been able to follow the difficulties of your process but I can see from your siggie that its been tough road. There is nothing like that rollercoaster of emotion. And then the thought of starting all over again. This is a fresh start though and it helps so much to have that productive feeling working with the flowers. Do you think you will talk about it on FB? If you don't then its really is awesome that you are at home here and the tttc board- we have been there and understand the heartbreak but everyone is pushing for your sticky success this round! Keep on gardening and enjoy the spring- its a creative, fertile time!