WWYD stubbornness

YellowLily2013

My grandmother needs to go to the doctor but she's not making her appt. My grandpa isn't forcing the issue because he doesn't think he can make her go -- other than physically picking her up!

After a week or so not making an appt. she told my mom that she'd make the appt after the got off the phone. And then promised my uncle last night that she'd make the appt.

If she doesn't. I'm just ready to make the appt for her and drive 2.5 hours and take her there!!

She's being ridiculous and I feel like someone needs to step up and just force it. Is that wrong of me?? Lol

YellowLily2013

My mom talked to her yesterday. And obviously didn't make the appt after she got off the phone. Since it still wasn't made when she talked to my uncle.

Into+the+Kitty

I say butt out. She's an adult, and as much as you disagree with her decisions, it's her life to handle as she chooses.

YellowLily2013

That's just not how our family functions.

zaraceligon

I'm like you I will try to take her to the doc. But honestly, that's her decision and it needs to be respected. She has the right to refuse it. On the otherhand is not ok to force think to anybody, specially to an elder person. What's more its not your job, you are the grandchild. It's the job of their sons.

YellowLily2013

And I'd normally agree actually, but this is serious.

And my mom thinks she took herself off her antidepressants. So she's not really acting in her best interest.

zaraceligon

Ok them is not how you family function, just force her and take her.

YellowLily2013

@zara my grandparents helped raise me. So I'm closer to them than a typical grandparent / grandchild relationship.

YellowLily2013

zaraceligon said:

Ok them is not how you family function, just force her and take her.

Well "butting out" of people's business isn't how we function. But we haven't really had to "force" something before.

I really want to try and talk to her or figure out what my mom can say. But she keeps lying.

YellowLily2013

I'm just trying to figure out at what point if its a serious health problem should "force" your family member more. Than if it was a non serious issue?

zaraceligon

If she keeps lying and not taking her med. it means she need someone to be with her and see how she behave for a days, depending on her behave you or your family need to have a serious talk with the doc. And see how you can work with her.

YellowLily2013

I don't think she's out of her right mind. But i do think she's in a depressive episode and needs help.

I'm not going to do anything just yet. But I do think if someone scheduled her an appt she'd be more apt to go. Then having to schedule it herself. ((If that makes sense. That's how I am with the dentist!))

haileyq

IMO it depends on the severity of the issue. As long as she is signs her own consents you're kinda SOL. I agree perhaps there is someone that might be able to go to her house? Sometimes there are visiting docs that make house calls. It almost always helps to assess why she doesn't want to go? And stopping antidepressants cold turkey itself can cause serious medical issues... I guess if you really think it's that serious, you can always call 911, when the medics arrive if they find it that serious they can call the ER and transport her despite her wishes...I've seen that done. I would consider that a last resort though because it will tick your grandma right off!

freezorburn

@YellowLily2013‌ I have nothing to add, just that I'm sorry you are going through this.