Ending a Childcare Arrangement (long)

brandy4nicole

Hi Ladies,
I am a mostly-lurker here and was hoping for some input on a childcare issue My LO is currently with a babysitter in her home. She also keeps one other LO, 4 yrs old. Lately, the arrangement has been going south. Sitter has been dropping not-so-subtle hints about being unhappy at home, and needing adult interaction, which I suspect has caused the quality of care to drop.

She is never out of bed when DH drops off, so he has to leave LO in the care of her teen kids until she comes downstairs. This morning, DH heard all three teens very harshly yell/scream at our LO, with them not realizing he was around the corner. Combined with their ac being broken, adding to LO's eczema flaring up, he called his mom to keep LO today.

DH was very upset and wants to pull LO. I agree, bc of several additional issues as well that I didn't mention here. There are some larger issues, and we are just not happy with the care quality anymore.

What is the proper way to handle pay, notice, etc? We did just pay in full for March, on Monday. (We pay by the month.)

Thanks for reading my long post, and for any advice you might have!

djm31012

Given the severity of the situation and the quality (or lack there of) of her care...i would give no notice. I would tell her we are no longer sending DD to her home and we will pay for the days in April that she watched her and thats it. Her teenage children yelling at your kids and her not being out of bed when she is dropped off is unacceptable in my opinion.

ImJessesGirl

I would give no notice either. Was there any kind of contract that you signed stating a certain amount of notice was given?

I would simply tell her that you have decided to go with another option for childcare. If she asks why, then just answer her simply that it was a decision that you and your husband decided upon based on the needs for your child.

I also agree with PP that her not being out of bed when you arrive and your child being yelled at by her own kids is absolutely unacceptable.

snicksnack

I would give no notice and assuming she is regulated by the state I would report her.  In my state the provider can only leave kids with an approved backup I doubt her teens qualify.

Winemama0613

I agree with PPs. I would find alternative care until you are able to secure a new provider. I can't imagine sending a teenager to do my job because I don't want to get out of bed-my boss would fire me that same day! She shouldn't be let off any differently because watching your LO is her job not her teenager's.

cecilyandgautam

In your situation, I'd give no notice and no severance pay. Your sitter is the one who broke the contract, not you. The nature of the care provided fundamentally changed - she no longer is providing the service you hired her for. Really, she should have been the one to give you notice that she'd no longer be doing her job as agreed to, but since she didn't - you have no choice and have to find other care for your child. 

I'd be honest about it with her though - she should know that her kids yelling at your LO isn't what you agreed to when you signed up for her care. 

VOR

Ditto everyone else.  And I would be clear w/ her on why you're leaving.

VOR

And good for your DH for immediately taking your DS out of there and to your MIL for being able to step in in a pinch.

mlee116

I would pull her asap.  Her being in bed at drop off is unacceptable and unprofessional but the yelling is what would be the biggest deal for me.  There are very few things that make me blow my lid, but hearing a caregiver yell at my kid like that...hell damn no.  I'd have to seriously restrain myself from going all Hulk on the place.  Good for your H for getting her out of there.

brandy4nicole

Thank you so much ladies! It's great to have a place to come for support and advice, and I am relieved to see that we're not overreacting. MIL has said she'd be happy to keep her until we make other plans. I would ordinarily give notice, but that was such a glaring problem that I agree with you all. If she was concerned with her income, than she'd have given my LO the 100% she deserves. Thanks again!

ccam

I totally agree with the other ladies and hope you find something else soon!

ASmallWonder

Nope. Nope nope nope.  To be honest, I'm surprised it took the yelling to make you guys decide to pull.  If the adult provider I'm paying for is not ready to care for my child, that's an immediate termination situation, IMO.  I agree with the others that I would give no notice.

jesuisfatiguee

No question - get new care immediately and give no notice. Do give a reason, but you shouldn't be expected to pay her anything. It sounds like she might be depressed, which is sad, but that is her problem to deal with.

I would lose my shit over someone yelling at my kid. No flippin' way.

MommyAtty

I will add, don't feel bad. You guys were way more than fair and patient with her. Way, way more.