Working moms?

MelissaMiso

I was wondering how many of you are working moms? How do you manage balancing family life and work responsibilities?

I'm currently working full time as a substance abuse counselor and I have a very small private therapy practice. Due to the nature of my full time gig (population and the massive client turn over/heavy paperwork load) the stress of the job is interfering with my family time as lately I haven't been able to shut my brain off and leave work at work. Currently looking for different full time work and am also having thoughts of doing a complete career change.

DTNZ4Ever

I'm a working mom. I'm a mental health counselor at an agency. I luckily have a flex schedule where I'm off on Mondays so that helps that I get 3 days with my DSs. I unfortunately have a long commute but that allows me to leave work at work. I also listen to books in the car as a way to forget about the day so I can be present at home. Sometimes work comes home with me or I'll need to take a client call at home or on my days off but it is rare.

I'm very organized and prepare things the night before so that allows me some balance, I also meal plan for 2 weeks at a time so that helps with taking that stress away since I know we have everything we need at home.

I love where I work since the schedule is flexible I can make my own schedule as long as I meet my billing requirements. I also can work from home if needed on DSs sick days as long as I reschedule my clients to other days. The key set work times and family times. Once I get home it's family time if I need to work that waits until the boys are in bed then I can do work. I put the phone away and the computer shut down until the boys are in bed. If I'm thinking about work I write myself a note then address it during my set work times.

sugarbear0524

I have a job that is not necessarily at my skill level but it works for my life right now. I'm able to get some household things done at work (menu planning, grocery list, budget update, etc.) when things are slow. My boss that I support is only here 3 days a week and they aren't full days (I work Mon-Friday, though). I don't have to bring home any actual work.

The schedule is what makes it work for me. I have a 5 minute commute and DS goes to preschool next door. I take him to school at 7:30 and go back home to eat breakfast, make the bed, etc. I go home for lunch and prep dinner or other small tasks. I get off at 3:00 on Fridays, and get to spend 3:00-5:30 as me time every week. 

It's not the most challenging job I've ever had, but I believe in what I do and it works great for our family.

shelley1002

I work full time but my job is a regular 9-5er.  So its fairly easy.  Evenings on worknights are busy (dinner, wash bottles, get everything ready for the next day, baths, playtime, etc).  I am counting down the months until we are done with bottles.  They take so much time to handwash each day (our dishwasher sucks so I hand wash).

aurora1974

I work 7:30-4:30 M-F. I'm a corporate accountant. Commute time is about a half hour depending on traffic.  I get DD up, dressed and eating breakfast before I leave in the morning.  DH takes her to daycare when he leaves for work around 8-8:30.  I pick her up from daycare which lately has been taking a while because she doesn't want to stop playing to go home.  DH doesn't get home until 6:30-7pm, so I start dinner around 6, we eat when it's ready, whether he's home or not.  Usually he makes it home in time or right after we start.  On bath nights it's bath at 8, then bedtime.  If it's not a bath night then we play or read or watch videos until 8-8:15 then put her to bed.  This seems to be working for us.   We make sure we leave work at work, or try to.  DH is in IT so he's always on call if something goes wrong. While we don't have a lot of time during the weeknights, we make sure that we get plenty of family time on the weekends.  

Geeps2

I work outside the house in a school.  I am no longer in the classroom so my schedule is a little more flexible.  I have set hours but if I am a few minutes late it isn't the end of the world.  I also work in the town in which I live so I get to come home for lunch everyday.  I work 8-3 everyday and my commute is literally 5 minutes door to door so once I am home it's Mommy mode till bedtime.  Last year I had some doozies on my caseload and it was extremely difficult to leave work at work.  I was beyond stressed.  I had to remind myself that no one else was getting this worked up over a certain case so why was I.  Also, I had to remind myself that I was not being totally present for my family and that wasn't fair to them.  It was difficult but I made it work for my own sanity and for the sake of my family.  I feel your pain I really do!

MommyAtty

I'm an attorney for a corporation. And I'm in the typical male position in that my family lives off my salary. DH's salary is secondary/gravy. So I make it work because there isn't really another choice. Most of the time, I do well. Occasionally, like this week, it feels like the world is about to come crashing down any second. So I just remind myself of the good that comes from my job. I'm teaching my daughter that women can have powerful careers. I make a lot of money. Most of the time I'm very fulfilled. And I know I'm a better mom as a working mom. I'm just not cut out to stay at home. And I'm really not cut out to not lean forward into my career. I do set aside from the time I get home to my DD's bedtime for my family. Then I often work until midnight, get up at 5:30, and start again. I also limit weekend work. That's my family time.

MelissaMiso

@DTNZ4Ever Are you in a fee for service position? I used to work at a mental health outpatient clinic full time and the caseload was completely unmanageable (82 when I resigned). At the rehab I only have 12 clients max at a time but the turnover is horrendous, all my clients are dual focus, and there are a high percentage of Borderline Personalities with addiction. Probably the reason it's hard to leave work at work, they take so much out of you!

mwhipple77

I work FT, but my company is very laid back.  My hours are technically 8-5, but since I'm salary, as long as I get my job taken care of, no one watches the clock for me.  I am typically 5-10 minutes late daily and I generally leave about 15 minutes early.  Evenings are very busy at our house...if I don't plan dinner out, I end up picking something up on the way home, which isn't the healthiest for us.  But it's really hard to get everything done and be able to spend anytime with DD before starting her bedtime routine.  I am fortunate that when I leave work, I never take it home with me.  I've had jobs previously that it seemed like work never ended, so I'm very thankful to be with the company I am now.

This is why when on weekends and my MIL wants to come and watch DD while we go run errands, we just take DD with us.  I want all the time I can get with her on the weekend.  It just seems like there is NEVER enough time in the day anymore.

DTNZ4Ever

MelissaMiso said:

@DTNZ4Ever Are you in a fee for service position? I used to work at a mental health outpatient clinic full time and the caseload was completely unmanageable (82 when I resigned). At the rehab I only have 12 clients max at a time but the turnover is horrendous, all my clients are dual focus, and there are a high percentage of Borderline Personalities with addiction. Probably the reason it's hard to leave work at work, they take so much out of you!

Wow 82 clients is a lot. I typically top out at 25 clients. Luckily my clients live and work at my agency (their primary diagnosis is intellectual disability) and I've seen some if my clients for 8 years. I do have community clients where turnover is more often. Those borderlines are exhausting but I've learned I can't work harder then my clients.

Geeps2

Whipple "This is why when on weekends and my MIL wants to come and watch DD while we go run errands, we just take DD with us.  I want all the time I can get with her on the weekend.  It just seems like there is NEVER enough time in the day anymore" 

I couldn't agree more!  I love spending my time with my kids.  I am lucky in that I get home by 3 everyday but my kids head up to bed around 6 and are in bed by 6:45.  The evenings FLY.  The weekend is the only time I get to spend the whole day with them.  I treasure every moment.

MelissaMiso

Geeps2 said:

Whipple "This is why when on weekends and my MIL wants to come and watch DD while we go run errands, we just take DD with us.  I want all the time I can get with her on the weekend.  It just seems like there is NEVER enough time in the day anymore" 

I couldn't agree more!  I love spending my time with my kids.  I am lucky in that I get home by 3 everyday but my kids head up to bed around 6 and are in bed by 6:45.  The evenings FLY.  The weekend is the only time I get to spend the whole day with them.  I treasure every moment.

I agree, too.  It is definitely the reason I let my daughter stay up much too late on most nights. She cuddles up next to me and melts into my side sucking her thumb and all sleepy eyed. These moments are not going to last for ever and I want to savor every second.

eenkk

I'm in a demanding job which requires overtime. My husband is a Marine. We alternate primary parenting roles as we can. Right now he does the morning routine and gets DS ready for school. I leave early (6ish) so i can be home around 430 to get dinner ready and spend some time with the family. I primarily do all the night time routine and DS is in bed by 8pm. I think work-life balance is a hard term to apply. It implies everything is in harmony at all times. Reality for our family is work-life management. I recognize my job takes me away from my son, but I also believe that i am showing him what a strong woman is capable of. This is a lense that he will view other women in his life. In order to compensate, I do tend to "outsource" several home tasks, I hire houscleaners and rely on a meal prep place so I can make and freeze several dinners ahead of time. This costs more, but it allows me
To get some extra time with kiddo where I'm not telljng home to "hold on"
While I get something done. Totally long winded... Sorry.

MelissaMiso

I wish we could afford to have a house cleaner or to be able to outsource some tasks.

Reilly626

I went back to work when my twins were 13 months old. It was so hard. This year the kids have gotten so sick I've been out a lot! I cannot walk away from my job as I have a state pension and benefits, but some days it is tough. I make sure to leave work when I'm allowed so I can spend the time with my kids. I also had hired a cleaning crew while I was pregnant and kept them on as I don't have the time. I feel like there's no time for anything but the kids, but I try to remember this is when they need me the most.

colinsfebmommy

I am full time working mom, 8-5. Luckily my family watches his him but I still have some guilt that it isn't enough time to spend together. But I get home with him by 6 and I make him food, as he eats I prepare the meal for my husband and I, while it is cooking I spend the rest of my time playing with him and we eat after he goes to bed around 8:30. I do live for my weekends though when I have all day to spend with him.

Mrs_Lady

I stayed at home until lo was close to 18 mos. I work full time now as of about a month ago. My Previous director position was stressful. My lo stays with a family member so it helps. I work in HR at a hospital i work 7a to 330 most home within 15 or 20 mins.

I cook for the week on Saturdays clean during weekdays