What do you regret about your loss? Obviously, we all regret that we weren't able to save our babies, but are there other things? Things that haunt you? Things that weigh you down inside? I don't ask so that we all sit and dwell on our regrets, but rather as a way to voice them and try to let go, or at least take a step in that direction. I also figure we all have regrets, and that in voicing them, we can see that we are not alone in this either.
I wish I had taken more photos of Colton. I wish I had called a professional photographer and had them take 100s of photos. We have some, and I am so grateful we do, and at the time I didn't even know if I would even look at the photos that were taken, but now, I cherish every single one and wish there were more.
I wish I had spent more time with him. I didn't get to see him until hours after he was delivered due to complications with the c section and being moved to the ICU. I wish I had seen him sooner, before his coloring started to change, and that I had investigated every inch of his body. It was so hard at the time, and I was still a little out of it from the crazy morning, feeling numb from shock, but I regret that I will never see every inch of his little body.
I regret that we didn't have an autopsy done. At the time we didn't think about how important it might be for getting answers, but now I wish we had, that we had done everything we could to find an answer and to prevent this from happening again.
Me: 32 DH: 33 High School Sweethearts Married 5/28/2005
DS1 born 6/5/10 at 40 weeks via emergency c-section due to fetal distress and IUGR caused by placental insufficiency
DS2 born still 8/28/13 at 32 weeks via emergency c-section due to a complete placental abruption - cause unknown
Baby #3 on the way, EDD 2/29/16. Originally twins, but we said goodbye to Baby B at 8 weeks.