Newly Pregnant and scared!!!

pinkladyalley

Hello,
I would like to start off by saying, I never thought I would be in this place again. My only child is seven and shortly after he was born the doctors told my husband and that it was very unlikely for us to conceive naturally. We were sad, but I had such a hard pregnancy with my son,we decided not to push it by seeking out fertility treatments. I have not been on bc since before my son was born and we have never used any form of bc either. So basically we both felt that it wasn't likely to happen, but we also didn't want to do anything to prevent it either. Then last week I woke up for two mornings in a row throwing up, my mom who is a nurse told me to take a hpt. I kind of laughed it off, but must have thought she could be right. Well, I took it and it came back positive. So did the subsequent ones I made my DH run to the store and buy ;-). I would have always thought that the first emotion to hit me would have been joy, but instead it was fear. Fear because my last pregnancy I was high risk. I have severe scoliosis and my spine was fused totally when I was only thirteen. Therefore, my torso is much smaller than it should be for a person of my size. My DH and I are both tall and my son was born premature because due to his size (8 pounds) I was having severe trouble breathing. He ended up in the NICU and even though he is fine now, it was a terrifying experience. I also due to my condition am unable to give birth naturally, but due to my spinal issues and scar tissue I couldn't have a epidural. Therefore, I had to be put to sleep and a c-section was done. It was also very scary and I couldn't get my doctors to take me seriously in the beginning. They just kept me on a c-section plan and when I mentioned my spinal issues and if that would work with an epidural, they just always said it would be fine. Then the day I was scheduled to deliver the anastesiologist said that there was no way to give me an epidural. I am just so scared and so shocked. I am totally unprepared and over whelmed. I know that I will have to see high risk docs again, but am just wondering if I am better off going to my old ones (who I never felt truly cared for by) or pick the only other high risk practice in my town( who could be even worse). I know I sound ungrateful for this amazing gift I have been given, but I am not ungrateful, just scared. If anyone has been through this before or has any advice, please let me know. I am 5 wk. right now and don't have a doctor picked out yet. Also, what do other High Risk mommies do to help calm their worries?

Ylvelill

I try to take each day as it comes. Be happy for the good times and keep my fingers crossed for more time for baking.

haziedaze

Sounds like a lot! My best advice is to try to slow down and focus on one issue at a time. Make sure you get to a MFM specialist and start to sketch out a plan for this time. Maybe knowing how delivery and late pregnancy will go ahead of time will help with the fear and worry you experienced the second time.

As far as coping, I strongly recommend the book "Mindful Birthing" it's a Mindfulness based approach to pregnancy/childbirth that has really helped me. It does have strategies for coping with labor, but mostly focuses on staying in the now and during birth accepting each moment as it comes. It might prove to have some techniques for you when you're facing c-section again.

Good luck!

pinkladyalley

Thank you, I will get that book pronto! :-)

cowgirljennifer@hotmail.com

Good luck with your pregnancy. I just wanted to give you my two cents about the dr thing. I would definately try the new dr. They could surprise you and you really like them and if nothing else you could go back to the other practice if nothing else. I just went through this in trying to find a heart dr I like. Went to 4 different dr's but being comfortable with your doc can really make all the difference!! I hope this pregnancy is a little easier on you!