Personal but feel this is only place to ask intimate question

Angelahelena

My husband and I have abstained from sex since we found out bc we have had five losses before. Although doc said it was ok. Anyway we tried a couple of times and we were ok. But yesterday he was fondling my breasts and I cramped so bad I yelled. We held each other and hoped for best and I got better. I don't feel like having arc but miss it. How do others cope?

Ylvelill

I had a few times where things felt weird. It might help to try things out on your own or with help from your husband without getting to the main event. You may feel more relaxed as you get used to the new sensations.

Hope you guys figure it out, I find it relaxing now and good for my mood

Angelahelena

Thank you ladies for the advice. Im 16 weeks now and we both realize it may be a long time before we are intimate again and it just sucks.

Brummy14

I understand. While we haven't had any losses (I cannot imagine the heartbreak you've been through), after 8 rounds of IF treatments, and finding out we were expecting two --- we just decided to abstain. Neither of us felt comfortable, even if medically it was "fine." I had just seen too many cases where it was okay, and then it wasn't (suddenly placed on pelvic rest), which freaked me out. And, in hindsight, I'm glad we didn't do anything. With the girls arriving so damn early, the LAST thing I need is to even think that had anything to do with it. Which, it likely wouldn't have, but still. 

For us, it was a mutual decision made with the bigger picture in mind -- and weighing what we were just able to mentally and emotionally handle at the time.

Angelahelena

Thank you. Our thinking is the twins come first so we abstain.

Odebdo

We actually have abstained since the night before transfer when the RE instructed us to be intimate.The RE had a no sex until further instructions after transfer through first trimester, and she basically told us to ask the OB, who in turn went with the RE orders...by the time we hit the 2nd trimester...it was kind of routine...after being married almost 10 years and trying for these babies for almost 6...we kind of figure we have time to get back to that...so we have a new routine of snuggling etc...keeps the intimacy without any risk.

Granted...I am a CPA so this time of year is really busy and we typically are less active anyways....

oughtonk

We've continued our intimacy so far, definitely not the same amount as it was but my sex drive has been crazy lately and we haven't had any complications so far.  I did have a period of time that I would cramp but we determined it was position related, once we switched things up some it hasn't happened. 

As far as coping, with us it's that we don't have nearly as much intimacy, we spend time cuddling whenever we can and hold hands more. In general we're just more affectionate than we normally are.

Angelahelena

Intimacy during pregnancy w the cuddling and holding is special