Intro

AprSnow59

I hate that I have to intro over here, and that any of us ever have to be here.  I just had my second miscarriage on Friday.  Last time was a MMC and I waited it out to let it happen it home and fortunately my body cooperated with no complications.  That was in September with an EDD in April.  This time I just wanted it over with so after finding no heartbeat on Friday morning (after spotting on Thursday night), we scheduled the d&c for Friday afternoon.  Now I find myself alternating between being overcome with sadness and being SO angry.  I just don't understand.  I want answers.  

So I have a few questions for you ladies.  I have already been seeing a RE and had a basic infertility workup that came back with no answers (this was after ttc for a year) so my official diagnosis is unexplained infertility.  Can anyone explain the difference in what they will be testing for after multiple miscarriages that is different than what they did for infertility?  I did have the fetus sent for chromosome testing this time so maybe that will give us some insight.  I plan on asking my doctors all these questions but is there anything that I should make sure I add to my list of questions that you've learned from experience?  

The mad side of me wants to start taking action.  The sad side of me wants to stay on the couch for a few more days and allow myself to grieve.  How long did you take before going back to work?

Thank you in advance for your responses.        

stephy1221

*ticker warning*

I am so sorry for your loss.

I took the day i found out the heart stopped beating and the following day off and the day before and of the d&c off work.

I would've taken longer but took only what I felt I needed due to business needs, luckily for me working was a good distraction but it did exhaust me emotionally holding it together by the afternoon.

AggieBeth06

I'm so sorry, (((hugs)))

Take the time you need. Everyone owe at their own speed, which has no right or wrong.

nohalo21

I'm sorry about your loss. It sucks any of us have to be here. I had my induction on a Friday. Originally I thought I would be able to go back to work that next week. I was an emotional wreck (still am) and took the week off. Don't push yourself. Listen to what your body tells you.

I'm not sure what your RE tested for prior but there are other things that they can test. Even though I had only one loss, my doc was being proactive (due to AMA and 2nd tri loss) and ordered clotting and autoimmune tests. My RE had not done any of these. We did have testing on the placenta and her to find there was a chromosomal issue. I hope you can find some answers.

AprSnow59

Thank you for all of your responses. I'm a teacher and on my feet all day (and am pretty weak right now) so have decided to take tomorrow off and take it a day at a time.

nohalo21

I'm a teacher also (middle school). I don't understand how some teachers are able to sit at their desk all day. My students knew what had happened and were happy to have me back. It's been 2 weeks since I went back and still have moments. I'm honest with them when I'm having a bad day so they can understand what is going on. They don't realize that the grieving is still taking place. They do keep me distracted though.

My union was able to get me bereavement for my missed time. I planned on taking it either way but am grateful that was granted.

Take care of yourself. Healing is the most important thing right now- physically and emotionally.

ambmama

Ticker warning.

I'm so sorry for your losses. I don't have a lot of insight to your questions but am here for support. (Hugs)