Flying with an almost two year old?

Perfect Sonnet

While we are super excited to be taking a vacation this week, we are worried about flying with our daughter.  She will be two in May and will be traveling as a "lap child".  We probably should have splurged for a seat for her, but couldn't resist having her fly for free while she can.  We have never flown with her before and are worried about what to expect.  She is a typical hyper toddler and doesn't like to sit still for too long in one place.  We have a Kindle Fire we will load up for her and will bring snacks and other toys.  Any other pointers?  Experiences? 

She is going through a screaming/shrieking phase, which I am sure our our fellow flyers will love, but the flight is pretty short (2 hours) so I am hoping we can keep her busy for the most part.

JENandJEH

Will you need a car seat when you arrive to your destination?  If yes, what's your plan for that?  It is usually discouraged to check or gate check your seat because then it has an unknown history and could be compromised.  Baggage handlers aren't more gentle with car seats, they tend to toss them around just like they do regular luggage and they could end up visibly damaged (leaving you in a lurch at the airport) or with damage that can't be seen (like in a car accident when you have to replace after any type of accident).  If there is still time to book her a seat, look into it.  It's safer for her and for the other passengers and would likely be easier for you to occupy her and keep her happy.  (I.e.  DS knows that riding in his car seat is non-negotiable so if I put him in the seat, he'd be more likely to just play with toys, on the iPad, eat snacks but if on my lap, he would want down to wander around)

As for keeping her occupied, get some small, new toys (Target Dollar Spot is great for this) and surprise her with them on the plane.  Stickers and a blank notepad, Color Wonder markers, , Matchbox cars, trains, etc.  Snacks and a cup with something to drink are also good to have packed.  Pack a change of clothes for yourself and a couple for her just in case along with plenty of diapers and wipes.  

We frequently took 8+ hour flights when DS1 was younger and basically just did whatever we needed to survive and not bother other passengers too much.  I took mini M&Ms one time and broke those out for the last 30 minutes when he was just done.  We didn't have smart phones or an iPad then but we did have a portable DVD player and we let him watch movies to his little heart's content.  Finally, just try to stay calm...they can sense when we're stressed and tend to be more clingy or act out more.  Good luck!

Perfect Sonnet

Thanks for your reply!  I think remaining calm on my and my husband's part will be most difficult, we are both always worried about bothering people too much with public tantrums…and there aren't too many places to escape on an airplane. 

Luckily, we arranged for a car seat at our destination.  I wasn't too crazy about dragging ours around the airport or risk checking it.  I am definitely taking a trip to Target tomorrow to bring some surprise goodies and some M&Ms for a last effort if things go too crazy.  Hopefully she will relax and watch a couple episodes of Dora.  Most of the advice I have received from friends and co-workers is to sedate her, but I figure we should give her a chance first

JENandJEH

I would be wary of Benadryl (that's what people tend to suggest for kids on planes) unless you've given it to her before.  And even then, I wouldn't want to give her Benadryl just to get through a flight.  Many kids don't actually get sleepy on Benadryl, it makes them hyper!  Not a good combination on an airplane!  

shannm

We just flew with our nearly two year old. She had her own seat and was strapped into her car seat. To keep her happy, I had lots of snacks, stickers, the iPad, her brothers touch. She finally fell asleep about ten minutes before landing on the way home and the only time she cried was when we woke her up from that. She did get pissy at one point and kick the seat in front of us (a downside of having them in the car seat) but I was able to distract her.

alake

My 19 month old has been on 20 international flights including 3 trips to Europe to see my husbands family. Some of these trips are by private jet. I never use lap child. It is dangerous for you your child and other passengers. You can't physically restrain a child during turbulence. She could be thrown if is severe enough. It could cause serious harm or even death to your child. It is also going to be a struggle to restrain a nearly two year old for the duration of the flight. That being said.
iPad or kindle
Books
Dollar store toys new surprise ones
Snacks.

mysticl

Perfect Sonnet said:

Thanks for your reply!  I think remaining calm on my and my husband's part will be most difficult, we are both always worried about bothering people too much with public tantrums…and there aren't too many places to escape on an airplane. 

Luckily, we arranged for a car seat at our destination.  I wasn't too crazy about dragging ours around the airport or risk checking it.  I am definitely taking a trip to Target tomorrow to bring some surprise goodies and some M&Ms for a last effort if things go too crazy.  Hopefully she will relax and watch a couple episodes of Dora.  Most of the advice I have received from friends and co-workers is to sedate her, but I figure we should give her a chance first

I hope you don't mean you are renting one.  That is incredibly unsafe.  It could have been in a crash, the straps improperly cleaned, it could have been pooped or peed in.  Also, they could hand you an infant seat or a booster seat, neither of which is appropriate for your almost two-year-old.  The FAA and the NTSB both say book a seat and take the carseat on the plane.  It is the safest option for your child and everyone else on board.  The child in this article was very lucky, this incident could have easily resulted in a dead or severely injured child. https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2561814/Severe-turbulence-United-Airlines-flight-injures-two-passengers-three-crew-members-causes-a.html

Perfect Sonnet

mysticl said:

Perfect Sonnet said:

Thanks for your reply!  I think remaining calm on my and my husband's part will be most difficult, we are both always worried about bothering people too much with public tantrums…and there aren't too many places to escape on an airplane. 

Luckily, we arranged for a car seat at our destination.  I wasn't too crazy about dragging ours around the airport or risk checking it.  I am definitely taking a trip to Target tomorrow to bring some surprise goodies and some M&Ms for a last effort if things go too crazy.  Hopefully she will relax and watch a couple episodes of Dora.  Most of the advice I have received from friends and co-workers is to sedate her, but I figure we should give her a chance first

I hope you don't mean you are renting one.  That is incredibly unsafe.  It could have been in a crash, the straps improperly cleaned, it could have been pooped or peed in.  Also, they could hand you an infant seat or a booster seat, neither of which is appropriate for your almost two-year-old.  The FAA and the NTSB both say book a seat and take the carseat on the plane.  It is the safest option for your child and everyone else on board.  The child in this article was very lucky, this incident could have easily resulted in a dead or severely injured child. https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2561814/Severe-turbulence-United-Airlines-flight-injures-two-passengers-three-crew-members-causes-a.html

No, we are not renting one.  

acbfreire

We flew with DD (20 months at time) as a lap child (3h domestic + 10h international flight). It worked out great. We made sure to get to the airport very early so she would have time to run around a lot. We brought new toys, plenty of treats (like yogurt bites, goldfish) and we gave her a good meal before the flight.
She loved opening and closing the window blinds! She also spent time reading books, drawing, etc.
She fussed for a minute or two, but then we introduced something new. She nursed during take off and landing, which was great!
We gate checked our car seat - you can always bring yours in hope there is an open seat.
Overall, it worked out very well. Even the TSA personnel were very kind and helpful to us.
Good luck!

Perfect Sonnet

acbfreire said:

We flew with DD (20 months at time) as a lap child (3h domestic + 10h international flight). It worked out great. We made sure to get to the airport very early so she would have time to run around a lot. We brought new toys, plenty of treats (like yogurt bites, goldfish) and we gave her a good meal before the flight.
She loved opening and closing the window blinds! She also spent time reading books, drawing, etc.
She fussed for a minute or two, but then we introduced something new. She nursed during take off and landing, which was great!
We gate checked our car seat - you can always bring yours in hope there is an open seat.
Overall, it worked out very well. Even the TSA personnel were very kind and helpful to us.
Good luck!

Awesome.  Hopefully our experience is as great as yours.  I like your idea about getting there plenty early to allow her to run off some steam.  Thanks so much for sharing.

LSU628

DD has flown 4 times now- 1 as a lap child and 3 in her carseat. She is fascinated by the safety brochures in the seat pockets. The flight attendants bringing drinks and snacks is also a welcome distraction. The magnadoodle/aqua doodle kept her busy, a sippy cup during take off and landing or a lollipop (a rare treat which kept her busy and pleased for the length of the lollipop). We are flying this summer with DS as a lapchild, and I have to admit I'm worried. He is way more wild and squirmy than his sister. If I can keep him snacking the whole time, I  might be OK. I checked ticket prices today to see if I could buy him his own seat, but the prices had almost doubled. :-(

SLGILL1978

I have flown several times with my daughter since she was 5 months old as a lap child. I have even checked her car seat. She luckily still fits into her infant carrier. No damage has been done. We have flown with two different airlines and both have actually wrapped her car seat in plastic. Mine is still young enough that I have rattles, books and some stuff animals to play with. I would definitely have a diaper bag or something similar and pack a change of clothing for you, hubby and baby as well. My daughter actually falls asleep within minutes of take off. It's something about the noise on the plane. But the toys and snacks were great for our layover.

Perfect Sonnet

SLGILL1978 said:

I have flown several times with my daughter since she was 5 months old as a lap child. I have even checked her car seat. She luckily still fits into her infant carrier. No damage has been done. We have flown with two different airlines and both have actually wrapped her car seat in plastic. Mine is still young enough that I have rattles, books and some stuff animals to play with. I would definitely have a diaper bag or something similar and pack a change of clothing for you, hubby and baby as well. My daughter actually falls asleep within minutes of take off. It's something about the noise on the plane. But the toys and snacks were great for our layover.

Our flight is actually around naptime, so I am hoping that this happens to her.  She usually eventually falls asleep in the car; but it could go either way and she could get just not nap because she is so excited/scared about what is going on.   We shall see Thanks for your feedback.

 

LSU628

Perfect Sonnet said:

SLGILL1978 said:

I have flown several times with my daughter since she was 5 months old as a lap child. I have even checked her car seat. She luckily still fits into her infant carrier. No damage has been done. We have flown with two different airlines and both have actually wrapped her car seat in plastic. Mine is still young enough that I have rattles, books and some stuff animals to play with. I would definitely have a diaper bag or something similar and pack a change of clothing for you, hubby and baby as well. My daughter actually falls asleep within minutes of take off. It's something about the noise on the plane. But the toys and snacks were great for our layover.

Our flight is actually around naptime, so I am hoping that this happens to her.  She usually eventually falls asleep in the car; but it could go either way and she could get just not nap because she is so excited/scared about what is going on.   We shall see Thanks for your feedback.

 

Ditto falling asleep on the plane. It must be the overwhelming white noise b/c DD crashes every single time. She seriously is the world's easiest kid to travel with. I'm just hoping her brother is the same!

lana22

lots of snacks and treats in addition to a ton of stuff in first response.

Kai&Allie

DD has flown a few times, and her second birthday is this month.

I would warm her that her ears will probably pop, and that it will be kind of painful, so that's she less likely to scream about it. I would also try and get a seat for her if you can. It is very dangerous to have a child on your lap. In fact it's illegal where we live. And would you not rather be safe than have to spend some more money?

To be honest, DD doesn't really bother about flying. We play games on the plane and after a while she falls asleep.

Beth.1212

While I plan to buy DS a seat on an 8 hour flight that we'll be booking soon, I've done 2 hour flights in the past as a lap child. It worked really well for us. In the plane, DS was kind of intimidated at being in such a strange place, and it comforted him to be on my lap. Also, I was able to nurse him during takeoff to prevent ear pain. (My understanding is that if you have a seat for your LO, they need to be in it during take off, even under 2 years old. I was very glad to be able to nurse him.) During all of the homeward flights he was so exhausted by the travel (he often doesn't sleep well away from home) that he slept in my arms the whole flight home. 

I found it useful to have LO in his stroller through the airport and then gate check the stroller. It kept him contained in the busy areas of the airport. 

GL and have fun!

minervacullen

Please look up the dangers of checking, even gate checking, a car seat. If you have in the past, it's generally advised to get a new one and discontinue use.

traveltheworld

I think having her as a lap child for a short flight like that is probably fine.  We've done multiple flights with DS - he was fine as a lap child as long as the flight was around 2 - 3 hours.

Get to the airport early, let her run around lots.  Change her before you board.  And when it's time to board, have one of you go ahead first and get settled, while the other stay with her and wait till the last possible moment to board.  The less time you spend on the plane, the better.  Bring lots of snacks that take forever to eat - e.g. cheerios, blueberries, etc.  Also bring an extra t-shirt for yourself.  DS threw up on me 3 of the 7 times we flew with him.  Bring lots of zip-log bags to keep things organized.  I know some people say bring lots of small toys, but I hated having to pick up toys from the floor and search for them in the seats when it's already crowded.  We just bought snacks, a few new books, and a few crayons (tied to a string) and drew on napkins.  You can also have fun pointing out things on the in-flight magazines.  Really, 2 hours is pretty short and you'll be fine!

acbfreire

Yes! Make sure you change your child right before boarding. We did this (but we still needed to change DD on the longer flight).

britbratjf

I've flown with with my DD twice - last month just she and I which was intimidating! Luckily she likes movies so I downloaded some to my iPad. I also brought a new coloring book and crayons and lots of snacks! Stickers would be a good distraction too - my DD loves stickers right now! My flight was just over 2 hours and she was fine. It helped that it was naptime because she was tired - she didn't fall asleep but she was content to sit and watch a movie.

kmc84

Saying your child was a lap child and 'was fine' is like saying 'we didn't use a carseat on the highway and they were fine'. They were fine because nothing happened. It is an issue if, or when, something happens and you have an unrestrained child

course11

We make a point to offer to buy our seat mate a drink. Nobody's taken us up on it yet, but it definitely helps us make nice with passengers who might otherwise be annoyed to be sitting near a toddler.

kateraid

I am taking DS on a short flight. He will be 18 months and a lap child also. I am going to wear him in the ergo for the duration of the flight so he is restrained and attached to me in case of any emergencies.

JENandJEH

kateraid said:

I am taking DS on a short flight. He will be 18 months and a lap child also. I am going to wear him in the ergo for the duration of the flight so he is restrained and attached to me in case of any emergencies.

Just to warn you, they will require you to remove him from the Ergo during takeoff and landing and most likely in case of any emergencies.  In fact, many times in an emergency, the flight attendant will instruct you to put him on the floor at your feet.  If he were to be in the Ergo and you were thrown forward, he would essentially be your airbag and may be seriously injured.  If at all possible, please explore the option of getting him his own seat.  

alake

You can not wear a child during take off and landing, also during turbulence.  It isn't a child restraint, so they will not allow you to wear him.  You have to hold him on your lap.

kateraid said:

I am taking DS on a short flight. He will be 18 months and a lap child also. I am going to wear him in the ergo for the duration of the flight so he is restrained and attached to me in case of any emergencies.

laurelita42

I swear I'm not trying to be judgey, so I apologize if it sounds that way! Just my experience- With several friends that were flight attendants for years, I have been strongly urged and reminded that a child should have their own seat whenever possible. It doesn't matter if they're 2 months or 2 years. If, god forbid, a plane encountered severe turbulence or some other type of emergency situation, an unrestrained child can be in real danger, no matter how tight a parent thinks they can hold him or her.

So I'd say if it's at all an option, go back and get a third seat and bring a car seat with you on the plane- even if you have to split up your family... i.e., DH sits in a single seat one row over while you and your LO occupy the two original seats. You mention your LO is an energetic kid, so holding her on your lap may be cheaper but you could find yourself wishing you'd given her a bit of her own space after 10 minutes in the air trying to wrangle her.

For keeping her busy- get a few small toys and wrap them in fun paper. Parcel them out every 15 minutes or so. My LO loves this trick. And I pretty much give her whatever else she wants to keep her calm on the plane. 20 cookies? Sure. 10 juice boxes? Sure. Whatever keeps the peace on the plane for everyone else, honestly. And definitely skip any Benadryl- my well-intentioned parents tried to give some to my brother when he was very young, and he went CRAZY HYPER on the plane.

I also really like the idea of offering your close neighbors on the plane something to eat/drink ahead of time. They will most likely refuse but you'll build in some goodwill that you might need to cash in on later if your DD gets feisty. Good luck!

BabyHope2013

We just flew to Florida and back for a week. DS was a lap child and did fine. We gate checked both our stroller and car seat. No damage was done to either. I'm glad we had our own car seat. I would not rent one with our rental car---I've heard bad stories about those. Unless you are planning on having someone meet you at the airport, I'm not sure what people expect you to do other than bring your car seat.

To keep him busy I brought a magna doodle, books ( new and old ones), stickers, blue painters tape and made a race track for his cars, suckers (it was his first time having one and it let him occupied for about 15 minutes), stickers, coloring book and crayons and my iPad with some kid shows and games. He was also fascinated with looking out the window at takeoff and landing. He loved opening and closing the window and watching us turn the reading lights on and off a few times. I agree with the pp that the white noise also makes then fall asleep. We let him walk around the airport a ton before we got on and waited until almost all the passengers were on the plane before getting on ourselves so we were on the plane for less time.

JENandJEH

This is an example of why it's not recommended to check or gate check car seats.  He is seen throwing them to the ground...I doubt any visible damage was done but you have no idea what tiny stresses it could have caused on the plastic.  Those tiny, unseen stresses could cause the car seat to fail in the event of an emergency.  Any car seat that is checked is considered to have an unknown history meaning that you cannot guarantee that it hasn't been damaged to the unseen eye.  

Mishandling luggage and car seats