Visiting with People After Babies are Born

shanaynerz

I've just been wondering, is it unreasonable of me to ask that, after the twins are born, people ideally come to our house to visit, and not expect me to pack up my toddler and two newborns to visit people elsewhere?

No one's bugged me about this yet, but I've warned people that once they're here, if you want to visit, you're coming here! Even when DD was born I preferred people visiting us here rather than taking her out, but with two plus DD I get overwhelmed thinking about it!

I'm not talking about just the first few weeks though, but even 6 months or so. It's hard enough right now for me to travel far with how exhausted I am, which sucks. Anyways, just thought I'd see what you all think!

jocie2581

Totally reasonable. Have people come to you. And have them bring food.

Ylvelill

I am personally looking forward to leaving my house with twins, then I won't have to feel like I have to host or clean!

That being said I think you can tell people how you feel for the first 6 months after that you might try to get more flexible.

shanaynerz

Yeah I don't wanna seem like an ogre, but with naps and stuff, too, it's much more convenient to have people here, and our place is baby-proofed with DD. My family and close friends all live about a 45 min. drive away, too, so that's what I was thinking about. We may totally leave the house all together, but like for visits or to hang out I think for the beginning it'll be much easier to have people here (our place is much bigger than pretty much all of our friends' as well).

legaleagles

jocie2581 said:

Totally reasonable. Have people come to you. And have them bring food.

I was going to say this too...if people want to see and hold my babies they can do it in exchange for food. No food, no babies....I'm only half joking. But I think it's completely reasonable. I doubt I'll be making many unnecessary trips.

Wishing35

I don't thinks it's unreasonable at first. Later down the road you may want to get out of the house with them though. One thing I do like about visiting away from home is I can always cut it short and say I need to take them home to nap etc. When people come to you sometimes it can be hard to get rid of them!

sasky

People actually expect this?? I don't know anyone in my life who would ask this of me, even after my singleton. They know they have to come over if it's just for a visit, and even then they schedule ahead of time and bring something.

Ylvelill

Maybe it helps that all the people I would consider visiting early on live with in a 10 min drive /:) I can certainly see saying no to driving an hour plus for a visit early on

chickaboo1974

My family lives 2 hours away and I only had my twins.  But after RSV season was over here- my boys were about 4 months old when I loaded them up and took them by myself to visit my family.  I was very very tired of being in my house and when they came to visit me, well it was more work since I felt I needed to pick up the house and prepare or at least arrange to have food for everyone- this was after the initial month or so of them being home when people visited.  I typically take them now every month- and most of the time it is by myself. 

bumpuser924057

Almost everyone who wanted to meet the twins came to see us in the first 4-6 weeks and the vast majority brought meals. By the end of that time I was starting to venture out into the world with the kids to run short errands and stuff and was ready to visit others outside of my house. I'm pretty sure you'll get to that point before six months!

carrotcake06

We did a mix - people coming to us and going to see people. There's a sweet spot of 2-4mo when they still fall asleep anywhere and sleep a lot so travel isn't awful. And by 2mo PP, I was c/s recovered. Once they start getting more aware it's harder bc you have to deal w nap schedules, etc.

The thought of packing up my 4yo and 9mo olds for a day trip sounds awful. Food, napping spaces, toys, etc. ugh. Much easier for them to come to me.