Update on my dad...

2MamazInSeattle

Hi all!
A few of you have asked about how my dad's surgery went and I didn't want to hijack other threads. Well, the short story is he got cold feet and as they were about to put in his IV, he had a full-scale panic attack, became mean and unreasonable, demanded his clothes, got dressed and stormed out. It was awful. All because it was delayed 45 minutes - clearly he was looking for an out.

We are all devastated that he wasn't able to go through with it - shocked, sad and disappointed. His poor wife has endured his anxiety over the past two weeks leading up to it, and she completely shut down saying she just couldn't do it anymore. Thank god my sister Megan was along as we had each other to get through these past couple days (most of Thursday was him threatening to cancel - but when we managed to get him there Friday, we thought we were in the clear.)

So what now? Well, we don't know. He admits he is not sure he can get past the fear of surgery to actually go through with it. What we have learned is that if he makes another attempt, he must be the first surgery of the day (no delays) and the IV, along with meds to incapacitate him from getting up and leaving, must be done ASAP upon arrival.

While it was a far way to come, and a pricey ticket, my sister and I wouldn't change the fact that we were here, and I'm sad that if he does try again, we won't be here with him. But, it's his journey, and no one can get him there except him. Still, it saddens me that having the surgery now - before a full-scale 'event' - would be much safer, lower risk and have a far lesser chance of complications. So we'll see, for now, he's just saying he is too scared to reschedule, yet he has 5 identified blockages in his heart, plus a clot in each lower leg. This is not good to say the least.

Thanks for all the thoughts and well-wishes! This is not the outcome any of us thought would happen, so we're still a bit in shock but just hoping we can find a way to support him/help him through.

Thanks again for all the good juju!

StacyLH24

I'm sorry that all happened...for you, your sister and your stepmom. I hope he will be willing to reschedule and follow through. It sounds like he sure needs it. You all have done everything you can. Now it is up to him.

CageyMack

How challenging for all involved.  Surgery is a crazy trip and it is hard to judge anyone who is facing it. 

Thinking of all of you!  You sound like you have a wonderful family.

SweetPea0307

That sounds really tough. I'm sorry your family is going through this. I hope your dad is able to do what's best for him in the long run.

KH826

Ugh! I'm so sorry you have been through so much in the last couple of days. I will continue to think of you and your family and hope that next time things go much more smoothly. Hugs!

ATXmommas

I'm sorry 2Mamaz. I can't imagine how scared he is. I hope he is able to come to peace with what needs to happen. Thinking about you and your family.

Jazibel

I'm so sorry to hear that things didn't go as planned (and needed). I hope that your dad is able to walk through his fear next time. I have no experience with this but is there anything the doctor can give your dad to make the anxiety more bearable? I can see how it would be scary to undergo major surgery but it sounds necessary too - making this all the more difficult.

I'll be keeping your family in my thoughts.

JGY

Oh 2Mamaz I'm so sorry to hear that this is how things played out.  I've been thinking about you and your family.  Sending love.

 

Manada

How's it going today? 

Thinking of you guys, hoping it all works out.  

2momsinCA

I read this post over the weekend but didn't have a moment to respond. I'm sorry this happened. I feel awful for your dad and then his wife must be pretty devastated. I hope he finds to strength and courage to reschedule and that plan to immediately prep him is unfortunately the best- no turning back. It is his journey and his choice though if he even feels that he can reschedule. We are all thinking of you and hoping for the best outcome.

redrockmama

I'm so sorry to hear things didn't go well. 

My stepmom had severe PTSD from a previous hospital experience. She had horrible panic and anxiety attacks before all of her recent surgeries. Luckily, once we were able to figure out what was going on and know that it was going to happen, the hospital staff were great. I hope your dad can reschedule and if someone can explain his anxiety to the nurses and doctors, they should be able to find ways to help him. They deal with this stuff often and have ways to help people get the care they need. Again so sorry for all of the stress that this weekend brought you. Hugs

healz413

What an upsetting and disappointing experience for all involved. I'm so sorry that you had to go through that and that your father is having such a hard time with this. I hope that things go much more smoothly next time.
xo