Potty training and not pooping!

sarahduq1186

Ever since we started potty training our 3 year old son he REFUSES to poop. Not just on the potty but anytime. He won't go. We're going 3-4 days without a BM. Dr. recommended miralax but I don't want to give him that. Any advice??? Anyone in the same situation and not using Miralax??

sarahduq1186

Thank you! I just picked up natural calm which is just magnesium powder but he's not liking the taste in his water. I've heard flax seed so I'll definitely try that. I feel like everywhere I turn or look people are suggesting miralax and I just feel like that is a horrible thing to give to a child!

TiffanyBerry

It's a scary transition! It feels different and scary!

DD would poop outside of a diaper until I let her poop on the grass outside, like our dog does.  Then she could be mostly standing (the way she did in a diaper) but not have a diaper on.  (Of course, I picked it up right away, but it was summer.)

LSU628

If you don't see results with the flax, I would definitley use the Miralax and here's my reasoning- DD was also afraid to poop. She would hold it so long that when she did finally go it was big and hurt, so she would become afraid to go, resulting in a vicious cycle. With a regular Miralax regimen she finally learned that poop doesn't hurt and she was much more willing to go on the potty.

sarahduq1186

That's my issues though. I do not want him on a Miralax regimen. I don't want it to the point where he only goes if he's on Miralax and I know that happens with SO many children, then they're constipated again after they come off of it. For one Miralax was never meant to be used for longer than 7 days and I know dr's approve it (for some reason), but it also says not for the use of anyone under 17 years of age. I read all the time that some parents literally have had their toddler on it for years and I'm never going to do that. Every parent has the right to do what they feel they're child needs so I'm choosing to never use Miralax. He went last night thank god!!

TiffanyBerry

While you're not there yet, years of miralax is probably better than a distended colon that never functions again properly leading to years of fecal incontinence. 

Don't get me wrong, I would do everything I could do avoid it, but I also would never say never in this case.

LSU628

TiffanyBerry said:

While you're not there yet, years of miralax is probably better than a distended colon that never functions again properly leading to years of fecal incontinence. 

Don't get me wrong, I would do everything I could do avoid it, but I also would never say never in this case.

Ditto- when you have a child that is chronically constipated to the point of impaction, you'll do anything to get your child some relief. FWIW DD doesn't use Miralax every day anymore. Through an increase in water and fiber she stays pretty regular. We only use it now on an as needed basis.

LSU628

sarahduq1186 said:

That's my issues though. I do not want him on a Miralax regimen. I don't want it to the point where he only goes if he's on Miralax and I know that happens with SO many children, then they're constipated again after they come off of it. For one Miralax was never meant to be used for longer than 7 days and I know dr's approve it (for some reason), but it also says not for the use of anyone under 17 years of age. I read all the time that some parents literally have had their toddler on it for years and I'm never going to do that. Every parent has the right to do what they feel they're child needs so I'm choosing to never use Miralax. He went last night thank god!!

Sometimes it's not about what we want, but what our child needs and is best for our child. Not pooping for 3-4 days is not good for anyone.

sarahduq1186

Neither is keeping them on Miralax for years at a time...

sarahduq1186

I understand as a mom that there comes a point where you literally feel like you need to do ANYTHING to make them go regardless of what it is BUT like I said, how do you know Miralax after years and years of being used isn't doing more harm than good? I just really don't want my little guy's body being dependent on it. I used pedialax suppository last night and that got him to go immediately. At least that is approved for a child his age... I'm not judging any parent for doing what they feel is right. I personally would rather rule out all other options first..

dashofreality

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-2176253/Its-accident-Doctor-says-early-toilet-training-HARM-potty-prodigies-shouldnt-attempted-age-three.html#ixzz21R7d9PDP While I'm not sold on this doctor, and can't find the original source that had more details, I would be concerned about your son withholding and do something to help. If you don't want to do miralax, that is fine. Maybe take a break from potty training for a little while? Lots of people have issues into adulthood that may possibly be connected to our actions during potty training.

If you don't want to take a break from potty training, I would suggest giving him an out. I know someone who would give their son a pullup for poop when he asked, but he had to use it in the bathroom. This way he was recognizing he needed to go, getting used to doing so in the bathroom, and more importantly going.

My advice with potty training issues is also to give them as much control as possible. He is holding either out of fear or control, or both.