Girl shaved head, got suspended

Smootchy

Seriously?! I remember when one of the football coaches was diagnosed with cancer the whole football team shaved their heads. What was this school thinking? 

What a brave little girl. That school sucks. 

https://www.today.com/moms/girl-who-shaved-head-friend-felt-punished-school-2D79450757 

Smootchy

FUCK YOU CHROME!! 

my links won't work anymore. it adds a ; and won't let me edit. 

SORRY 

CinemaGoddess

I read about this the other day.  Wasn't there some rule at the school about "extreme" hairstyles?  I'd say going bald is pretty extreme.  I don't feel super sorry for this girl if she broke the rules.

Same situation applies to gay people who work for Catholic schools or other businesses, get married, and then are shocked and appalled when they get fired.  

Smootchy

edit: tried to add the video. Not working. 

Smootchy

I dunno. I'm not feeling like this was an "extreme" hairstyle. I mean, I'd imagine the rule for extreme hair is so girls don't come in with crazy colors in their hair or something. 

I still think she's super brave and a very sweet friend. 

secretsout

I think she's brave and a very sweet friend to want to support her friend, but I feel a little torn on this.   The report I heard the other day said that the dress code specifically mentioned no shaved heads. 

On one hand, I think the little girl should be commended for supporting her friend.  On the other, you specifically broke the dress code, so why should you be surprised when they suspend you? 

Regardless of whether the rules are good or not, fair or not, make sense or not, they are the rules so I don't really get the outrage. 

ASmallWonder

We talked about this on my BMB and I had a lot of feels.  I think schools need to learn the definition of "case by case" and "context."  I doubt the mother ever had reason to believe her child would choose to be bald.  What if a kid was the one WITH the cancer and chose to proactively shave it.  Technically that's a choice and violates the stupid rule.  Schools need to focus their attention on real issues like bullying and how to get kids engaged and motivated to learn and not a stupid hair style which, in this case, was actually a really commendable action.

Smootchy

FTWR said:

jsgrl613 said:

I think she's brave and a very sweet friend to want to support her friend, but I feel a little torn on this.   The report I heard the other day said that the dress code specifically mentioned no shaved heads. 

On one hand, I think the little girl should be commended for supporting her friend.  On the other, you specifically broke the dress code, so why should you be surprised when they suspend you? 

Regardless of whether the rules are good or not, fair or not, make sense or not, they are the rules so I don't really get the outrage. 

Well if the dress code explicitely stated no shaved heads then I can't actually be shocked that she got in trouble.

I could be wrong, I thought it just said, "no extreme hair-do's" 

CinemaGoddess

Shaved heads are still extreme. 

secretsout

chapski said:

FTWR said:

jsgrl613 said:

I think she's brave and a very sweet friend to want to support her friend, but I feel a little torn on this.   The report I heard the other day said that the dress code specifically mentioned no shaved heads. 

On one hand, I think the little girl should be commended for supporting her friend.  On the other, you specifically broke the dress code, so why should you be surprised when they suspend you? 

Regardless of whether the rules are good or not, fair or not, make sense or not, they are the rules so I don't really get the outrage. 

Well if the dress code explicitely stated no shaved heads then I can't actually be shocked that she got in trouble.

I could be wrong, I thought it just said, "no extreme hair-do's" 

I don't know for sure, and I couldn't see the link you posted so I don't know what they said there.  I just remember that when I saw the report on the news, they said no "extreme hair dos" at first, and I was like, how is a shaved head extreme (because I don't consider it to be), but then they mentioned that the dress code specifically said no shaved heads.

CinemaGoddess

WhoCanItBeNow said:

They reversed this decision 2 days ago.

Link?

I want to see what their reasoning was.  

fancynewbeesly

I just can't with this. I would seriously cry if Reese had a friend that bold and brave.

CinemaGoddess

WhoCanItBeNow said:

CinemaGoddess said:

WhoCanItBeNow said:

They reversed this decision 2 days ago.

Link?

I want to see what their reasoning was.  

https://rt.com/usa/student-barred-school-friend-cancer-229/

I still think the girl (or her parents at least) should've looked into this before doing the shave. 

Smootchy

CinemaGoddess said:

Shaved heads are still extreme. 

Definition for extreme:

"of a character or kind farthest removed from the ordinary or average" 

is a shaved head or bald head really the farthest removed from ordinary? Going bald is a natural order of things. People go bald. For a kid to shave their head to show they care is compassion. IMO. Really things aren't black and white and the school should have seen that. She wasn't doing it to join a hate group.  

CinemaGoddess

chapski said:

CinemaGoddess said:

Shaved heads are still extreme. 

Definition for extreme:

"of a character or kind farthest removed from the ordinary or average" 

is a shaved head or bald head really the farthest removed from ordinary? Going bald is a natural order of things. People go bald. For a kid to shave their head to show they care is compassion. IMO. Really things aren't black and white and the school should have seen that. She wasn't doing it to join a hate group.  

You had hair.  Now you don't have hair because of a man-made device created especially for removing hair. 

That would be the farthest thing removed from average.  

Smootchy

CinemaGoddess sai

I still think the girl (or her parents at least) should've looked into this before doing the shave. 

I would not think to call the school to get approval for something like this. 

CinemaGoddess

WhoCanItBeNow said: chapski said: CinemaGoddess sai

I still think the girl (or her parents at least) should've looked into this before doing the shave. 

I would not think to call the school to get approval for something like this.  They did tell the school about it and explained why.

I have a big problem that it's only not allowed for girls. That's not discriminatory at all. And what is the minimum length acceptable? Would she have to stay out for months until it was long enough by their standards for a female?



The way I read this, they told the school after she had her head shaved:

"who had e-mailed the school to explain their daughter’s new style"

It was a good thing for the girl to do, but rules are rules.   I don't see where the hair style code was specifically geared towards girls, though.  

Smootchy

Estwd2 said:

Having gone to private school where I frequently got in trouble for dyed hair (red, orange, you name it), I am very pro-self expression through hair, clothes, whatever the hell you want. I think the "distraction" argument usually employed to defend these policies is backwards. Instead of telling kids you can't shave your head because it'll distract other students, how about telling the other kids to mind their own damn business and do their work? The world is chock full of possible distractions. Get used to it. If you can't handle a bald head, you're going to have issues in life.

Just curious, what was your punishment? Were you suspended everytime? 

CinemaGoddess

Imma need to see the actual dress code, because later in the article it says that "shaved heads are not permitted" without saying that it's only for girls.  

CinemaGoddess

Also, the girls parents had to have known about the dress code w/r/t hairstyles.  If the code does say that it's only for girls, they should've brought that up well before this because that is whack. 

LadyXaverian

The mother's reaction: Renfro’s mother, Jamie Olson Renfro, says she understands the school’s initial reaction. “At no point during this ordeal was Kamryn's school not supportive of her decision, nor show compassion...they just made a decision to enforce their dress code, which we were asking to be changed,” she wrote in a Facebook post.

It sounds to me like it was one of those things that the media and public blew out of proportion. Had the Renfros sought permission ahead of time, the whole debacle of the suspension might never have happened. They chose to ask forgiveness instead of permission, and it was given, but it took a few minutes to get the special circumstance approved.

Smootchy

CinemaGoddess said:

Imma need to see the actual dress code, because later in the article it says that "shaved heads are not permitted" without saying that it's only for girls.  

"But Caprock Academy, where Renfro attends school, has a dress code that specifically prohibits shaved heads for girls."

CinemaGoddess

SarahL77 said:

The mother's reaction: Renfro’s mother, Jamie Olson Renfro, says she understands the school’s initial reaction. “At no point during this ordeal was Kamryn's school not supportive of her decision, nor show compassion...they just made a decision to enforce their dress code, which we were asking to be changed,” she wrote in a Facebook post.

It sounds to me like it was one of those things that the media and public blew out of proportion. Had the Renfros sought permission ahead of time, the whole debacle of the suspension might never have happened. They chose to ask forgiveness instead of permission, and it was given, but it took a few minutes to get the special circumstance approved.

YUP.  

CinemaGoddess

chapski said:

CinemaGoddess said:

Imma need to see the actual dress code, because later in the article it says that "shaved heads are not permitted" without saying that it's only for girls.  

"But Caprock Academy, where Renfro attends school, has a dress code that specifically prohibits shaved heads for girls."

Please see bolded.  

CinemaGoddess

FTWR said:

https://caprockacademy.org/wp-content/uploads/2011/05/2013-2014-Family-Handbook-formatted-v2.pdf

Assuming this is the same school, there's the handbook. It states for both girls and boys that they cannot have a shaved head. However, boys are allowed to have it as short as necessary without it being shaved.

ETA:  Dress code starts on page 31

So, yeah.  It says for both boys and girls "no shaved heads". 

So this is exactly what Sarah77 said.  Parents chose to ignore that part of the handbook then got all butthurt when their child got in trouble.  

CinemaGoddess

WhoCanItBeNow said:

CinemaGoddess said:

Also, the girls parents had to have known about the dress code w/r/t hairstyles.  If the code does say that it's only for girls, they should've brought that up well before this because that is whack. 

Agreed. And they should have said something in advance instead of waiting until after, but it's very possible the last thing on their mind when their child wanted to do this was "Wait, let's consult the school handbook on hair rules". It's probably a part they skimmed because they figured it wouldn't apply to them. Doesn't let them off the hook, but the school's reaction even with the reasoning is still ridiculous.

I disagree.  This girl just learned that she can flaunt the rules and do what she wants no matter with no repercussions.  . 

LadyXaverian

I have feelings about this as a teacher. I totally agree that there needs to be case-by-case decisions made, and zero tolerance has been taken to a whole other level, but so many times, students and parents assume as special circumstance will be made for them, and it's not always that easy. Sometimes our hands are tied because we have to report to higher ups.

Anecdote: When I taught 8th grade, we had an 8th grade dance that was kind of prom-like. At the beginning of the 2nd semester, we would send home tons of paperwork explaining the school district's policies. We'd have parent meetings, student assemblies etc… to go over and really emphasize some of those policies that always ended up causing an issue (things related to attendance, grades etc…)  Inevitably, there would be kids who would be ineligible to attend, and inevitably, we'd have loud and angry parents protesting and wanting a special snowflake exception made. 

Ugh. 

CinemaGoddess

All the girl needed to do was wear a wig and she would've been welcomed back to school.  The wig only needed to be worn during school hours.  She had the rest of the day and every weekend to show off her bald head. 

This is a mountain out of a molehill and it's infuriating when people go to social media with this stuff instead of recognizing they were at fault.  

Smootchy

From what I've been told wig's are awful and itchy. Don't know from personal experience though

theseaword

I have trouble with the "rules are rules" argument. Sounds like useless bureaucracy. Yes, there are rules, but common sense should also prevail. I'm not saying it's an easy thing to do because you also want equal treatment of all students which is hard to do when exceptions are made. But I still believe exceptions need to be made.

Here's an example from my life. I am in insurance. We always inspect homes that meet a certain set of criteria. That is our stated rule in our published guidelines. However, we are occasionally contacted for exceptions. One time there was a terminally ill child in the home and no visitors could come in the home. Common sense told me I should make the exception. Sometimes a judgement call has to be made.

CinemaGoddess

TwilightMV said:

I have trouble with the "rules are rules" argument. Sounds like useless bureaucracy. Yes, there are rules, but common sense should also prevail. I'm not saying it's an easy thing to do because you also want equal treatment of all students which is hard to do when exceptions are made. But I still believe exceptions need to be made. Here's an example from my life. I am in insurance. We always inspect homes that meet a certain set of criteria. That is our stated rule in our published guidelines. However, we are occasionally contacted for exceptions. One time there was a terminally ill child in the home and no visitors could come in the home. Common sense told me I should make the exception. Sometimes a judgement call has to be made.

But it's also common sense that when your child is going to a school with a very strict dresscode, that allowing your child to shave her head bald might ruffle feathers.  

If I worked at a place that had a strict dresscode that included no visible tattoos, I would be a dumb fuck to not assume that waltzing in there with a new tattoo on my forehead would not be received well.  

CinemaGoddess

You're right. 

You have less rights at school than you do at workplaces.  

CinemaGoddess

WhoCanItBeNow said:

A child that age is required by law to attend school. Now she's not forced into that school, so that reasoning would actually work a little bit.

You choose to work for someone. They are paying you to do work and often times maintain an image for their company. Not the same. No one will force you to work somewhere that you can't have visible tattoos. That is a choice.

So this is the only school this child could've attended?  

CinemaGoddess

Mackalien13 said:

 What about people that shave their heads for medical reasons? Isn't this stigmatizing them by punishing people that do it for a look.

I think they would make an exception for a child with a medical condition. 

This child does not have a medical condition.  

EVA116

I don't really see a reason for the rule in the first place.

EVA116

<-------------- Has not read article so forget what I said if it has already been covered.

CinemaGoddess

Mackalien13 said:

CinemaGoddess said:

Mackalien13 said:

 What about people that shave their heads for medical reasons? Isn't this stigmatizing them by punishing people that do it for a look.

I think they would make an exception for a child with a medical condition. 

This child does not have a medical condition.  

Right but if you are punishing someone who does it for fun. Then it sends a message that it's gross to have a shaved head. How does that make people who have to have shaved heads feel.

I disagree to an extent.  I don't think it sends a message that shaved heads are gross, just that they aren't acceptable in that particular school environment. 

CinemaGoddess

WhoCanItBeNow said:

CinemaGoddess said:

WhoCanItBeNow said:

A child that age is required by law to attend school. Now she's not forced into that school, so that reasoning would actually work a little bit.

You choose to work for someone. They are paying you to do work and often times maintain an image for their company. Not the same. No one will force you to work somewhere that you can't have visible tattoos. That is a choice.

So this is the only school this child could've attended?  

Hence why I said in this case that point would work to a point. What if the classes are full in the other schools in the area?

There could be a billion different reasons they chose that school. 

But they did choose that school.  They accepted it with the handbook as is and did not raise a stink until it affected them personally.  

CinemaGoddess

Mackalien13 said:

I just don't see an educational reason why shaved heads are unacceptable.

Neither do I.  

But the parents accepted the handbook until it bit them in the ass.  Then they were allllll offended by it.

I wonder if they would've been so offended if it was someone else's child.  

CinemaGoddess

WhoCanItBeNow said:

CinemaGoddess said:

Mackalien13 said:

CinemaGoddess said:

Mackalien13 said:

 What about people that shave their heads for medical reasons? Isn't this stigmatizing them by punishing people that do it for a look.

I think they would make an exception for a child with a medical condition. 

This child does not have a medical condition.  

Right but if you are punishing someone who does it for fun. Then it sends a message that it's gross to have a shaved head. How does that make people who have to have shaved heads feel.

I disagree to an extent.  I don't think it sends a message that shaved heads are gross, just that they aren't acceptable in that particular school environment. 

I wonder if male teachers that are balding are allowed to shave their heads.

IDK.  Maybe there's a different handbook for teachers.  

CinemaGoddess

C'mon GM.  Those are strawman arguments.