Intrusive question - how to deal

MadcowCrazychicken

Hello, I'm just over 34 wks along.

I'm not sure if any other ladies have had to deal with what I feel are very intrusive questions about the delivery. I have strangers, co-workers and friends asking "are you having your baby naturally?" I field these questions daily and even the women in my MIL salon ask me and I want to tell them it's none of their business.

So far, I've just said "I'll go along with whatever the doctor recommends" then I'll change the topic.

But once I have my baby, there will be people who ask me how the baby was delivered. Short of me saying its none of their business, any suggestions on how to reply?

What annoys me about the question is the fact that I feel like it's too invasive and people seem to think that having a c-section is such a crappy thing, yes, the recovery is longer, but as long as my baby is healthy I'm happy.

I simply want to maintain a civil relationship with people who I will have no choice but to deal with in the future.

Junebug060609

I just say that she'll exit how she exits. Whatever is best for both she and I.

lavendergiraffes

"I'm going in with an open mind."
And change the subject.....

spacepotatoes

You don't owe anyone an explanation and it really is none of their business. I'd say something like "We'll see. I will do what is best for me and my baby." End of discussion, change the subject, don't engage anymore. After the birth, I like @kitchencolors' suggestion. They can't prod and judge if you don't provide the information.

awc1986

It's nobody's business but yours and your dr's. If they ask again, just say you're having an all-natural wilderness hypnobirth.

Bayberry12

I agree with the other comments.  Just causally blow the questions off.  

When I was pregnant with my angel, people ALWAYS asked me if I was going to have a c-section, it wasn't necessary at the time, so I would simply say "I hope not" or "I don't think so" and leave it at that.  If they asked about epi vs natural, I'd just say "we'll see how it goes".

I think once the baby is out, people are genuinely curious about childbirth and they may ask personal questions, you may feel like sharing, you may not.  Just remember you are in control of how much you share, and there is NO right or wrong way to have a baby!  

mrstengallonhat1

These types of questions don't really bother me, as it's often times other moms who are just curious and hoping to share their experiences with you.  If it bothers you that much, I agree with PP's - just change the subject or be as evasive as possible.  I personally don't see anything wrong with saying I'm hoping for natural but I'll do whatever needs to be done to get baby out safely.  If you don't want to share that much with the person asking, then don't.  

typeset

"Have you seen 'Alien'?" 

frugalwife

Tell them you plan to have a koi assisted birth. https://koibirth.blogspot.com/
I'm sure that would quiet the peanut gallery.

awc1986

Em&Jon said:

Tell them you plan to have a koi assisted birth. https://koibirth.blogspot.com/
I'm sure that would quiet the peanut gallery.

WT-holy-F?

I like how she says "I'm not stupid!", but gives birth in a garden fish pond.

I might do a budget "goldfish" birth with my nephew's aquarium.

Ladiebug710

Just let them know you aren't comfortable discussing your vagina.  The V word is often a conversation stopper.

jenb_99

I don't mind people knowing how DS was born, but honestly I've only ever gotten this question from close friends and family members. I had a c-section and loved it despite my previous snotty attitude toward them. I'm having another one on May 22 and I'm proud to admit it to people who ask. So far no one's made rude comments or openly judged me for it. If they did, it wouldn't matter anyway.

I'm sure the questions get a little more personal for women who admit to having a vaginal birth (Did you tear? Did you poop on the table? How's your sex life now? etc.), but you don't have to answer them directly. A quick "Uh-huh" to the "natural" or "vaginal" question and then a dismissive "I had a pretty normal recovery" or something similar in response to the more personal questions should suffice.

cnbean

You can just politely say that you aren't comfortable discussing that, and then change the subject. 

Mimaloo

Em&Jon said:

Tell them you plan to have a koi assisted birth. https://koibirth.blogspot.com/
I'm sure that would quiet the peanut gallery.

Is this serious? I'm really hoping that it's satirical. 

spacepotatoes

Ladiebug710 said:

Just let them know you aren't comfortable discussing your vagina.  The V word is often a conversation stopper.

That or, if you use @awc1986's suggestion, drop "yoni" in there a few times. That should also be effective.

Bootsie327

Mimaloo said:

Em&Jon said:

Tell them you plan to have a koi assisted birth. https://koibirth.blogspot.com/
I'm sure that would quiet the peanut gallery.

Is this serious? I'm really hoping that it's satirical. 

:-O

"Are you planning an unassisted birth?

Uh, no silly! The koi will be there." This person exists - help us and save us!

Mimaloo

jkanter107 said:

Tell them you plan to have a koi assisted birth. https://koibirth.blogspot.com/
I'm sure that would quiet the peanut gallery.

"How long does the baby stay under water? Well, I plan to let the koi guide him up to me. But Shane will be standing by with a net, just in case." This is a real person?? [-(

No....I refuse to believe it.

spacepotatoes

Em&Jon said:

Tell them you plan to have a koi assisted birth. https://koibirth.blogspot.com/
I'm sure that would quiet the peanut gallery.

What does your midwife think?

Well, it’s not up to her. She can have her babies her way, and I’ll do my birth my way.

Oh sure. Who needs to listen to the professional? She's just there so that the blogger can claim not to be stupid, not for her medical expertise.

awc1986

Oh i'm having brain surgery next week, but i'm having a dolphin do it. The neurosurgeon can do it his way. I'm doing this my way. 

jenb_99

Screw koi. I'm a Texan. I'm having a largemouth-bass-assisted birth.