November 2012 Moms

Mommy guilt? Anyone else?

I am having some mommy guilt and wanna know if I am crazy or if I should be feeling guilty...feel free to be honest cause I need an outside opinion. My husband says I have nothing to be guilty about. Anywho, I joined an exercise group that is (hopefully) going to prepare me for a triathlon. The group meets on Tuesday and Thursday nights and Sundays with the occasional Saturday. For the weekday workouts I leave the house at 5:30 right after DH gets home from work and I am not there to put LO to bed, give her a bath, that sort of stuff. I pick her up from daycare usually between 3:45 and 4, so I do get to see her for a little bit before I leave and I generally feed her dinner. My guilt is that I feel like being gone for bedtime 2 nights a week and Sunday mornings too makes me a bad mom. I know that I need to be happy and healthy for my sanity's sake, but is it at too great a cost? Am I making a huge mistake missing out on time with LO or am I just overthinking this?
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Re: Mommy guilt? Anyone else?

  • kjmommy1214kjmommy1214 member
    edited March 2014
    It does not make you a bad mommy. I would feel guilty and DH would tell me to take my ass to whatever I signed up for. I am thinking of doing a cake decorating class. It is one night a week and am having a hard time signing up. Happy mommy = happy family. I am learning SLOWLY that I can't be glued to K every second. It is nice to have some me time. Enjoy your exercise momma!

    Edited, because well, my phone has a mind of its own.

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  • Thanks gals. Makes me feel better to know I'm not the only one with guilt. I know that when I exercise I am happier and happy me does equal happy family in the end. I will make sure the time I do spend with her is well spent and not worry about when I am away! And @JKVogt‌, sign up for that class! Sounds like fun!
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  • It's normal to feel guilty. I work FT and feel guilty a lot, but it's something I have to do. I think it's good for YH and DD to have some time for them. Especially as she gets older and they do little father/daughter dates. Enjoy your time and GL on your triathlon!!
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  • I understand how u feel. But you HAVE to do things for yourself too. If LO is with daddy I especially wouldn't worry.
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  • I perpetually feel this guilt and as a result my hr when I do an easy 10 min jog now climbs close to 180. That's how out of shape I am. I ran 20 miles a week most of the pregnancy and used to have a resting hr of 70. No more. I'm trying to get over the guilt of not being around for a few minutes a day by remembering that she needs me for as long as possible...and that means taking time to look after me.

    But I understand how you are feeling. Any absence eats at me for days.
  • Thanks @maven212. I did yoga twice this week and I feel great. I guess me being healthy for the long term is what she needs. Keep up your jogging! I was also super active during pregnancy. I am still trying to be consistent...slowly but surely.
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  •  Because I work full time, I feel guilty if I am away on the weekends or miss a night of dinner/bed/bath. I try to schedule my activities away from LO during nap times (brunch with friends or nails) or when the inlaws are visiting LO :).  Do you have a running stroller?  Could you take LO with you on some runs or biking for that matter?  When I was training for the marathon it started at like 6:00 AM on Saturdays and I would run during the week at like 7 pm since it was so light out, so it didn't take me away that much.   I think it is important to find time for yourself and to do the things that make you happy, but you need to be ok with the decision.  You don't want to feel bad the whole time you are training.

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