How would you handle this?

DCKate

I just wrote a long post but it didn't save. I will try to be concise!

Basically, I'm wondering how you handle interactions between your LOs and other kids at Gymboree or open gyms like it.

I am a pretty laid back mom, but we've had a number of incidents with older kids (3 or 4 year olds) where toys are taken from DD, today she was shoved off a slide, etc.

I know the point of Gymboree and play dates is so kids learn how to share and play nicely and interact with one another. And DD definitely takes toys from kids, but we give them back and talk about sharing before I redirect her to something else.

The parents of these other kids seem to disappear the minute they walk in the door. It is totally inappropriate for me to discipline someone else's child, but what do you do in those situations? It's also not ok to push a 14 month old off a slide.

Am I overreacting? How do you handle those kinds of situations?

Mom2anAngel2

I was in a similar situation the other week.  We went to "Toddler Time" at our local SkyZone.  There was an older boy (4 or 5) who continued to knock over the blocks that DS was building.  The first time I just moved DS to another trampoline, however, the boy followed us.  I tried to offer the boy some of the blocks to take and use on his own, but he seemed to be angry and wanted to continue knocking over DS's stack.  Eventually his mother did corrected his behavior (after about 10 minutes), but if she hadn't, I would have addressed the situation to one of the "referees."  They are not really there to referee, but will remind parents of the rules.  But if a parent is not doing their job, they will find and address the parent.

 

It is tricky.  I too do not feel comfortable addressing another child, but I also do not feel that I should be run off by a parent that is not properly watching and redirecting their child.

Kara13360

I agree with @ClaryPax‌

DCKate

Yes, I did this today!!!! Your kid is stuck under a giant you car...where are you? Ah, reading Vanity Fair and talking into a headset. No problem, I got it.

I will just keep redirecting DD. I don't say anything to other kids re: taking toys, but the slide thing made me so mad!

MichieU79 said:

I would have just told the kid that it is not OK to push a baby off of a slide.  That may not be the thing to do since its someone else's child, but oh well...I need to protect my child.  

It's sad that some parents just disappear at these sorts of places. I "rescued" someone's under-18-month-old from the high balance beam at little gym.  The little girl just walked up the steps by herself and started trying to walk it alone.  The mother was off talking to another mother and totally not paying attention to her kid.  When she saw me taking hold of her daughter she ran up to me and thanked me.  Honestly, I felt a bit weird touching someone else's kid, but it was too high for her to walk alone safely.  Parents need to step up and mind their child for safety and etiquette reasons at these sorts of places.  Its so awkward when they don't!

brachysira

We always face this type of issue, and I really dislike it.  With the slide, DD is not a super great walker and so I would be very near, would tell the other kids as they approached that "a baby is going down right now so please wait because she is too little to be on the slide with others" or something.  I try to keep DD restricted to more baby areas of our gym and if bigger kids are going to trample her, I again say, "this is a baby, so you have to watch out for her."  If older kids take her toys, I usually just say to DD, "it's his turn now, it wasn't nice of him to grab, but we can play with this" and so far that has worked.  If it is a LO similar in age and they are kind of playing together and one keeps grabbing, I try to mediate my DD a bit and try to get her engaged in something that is not just taking the toys.  Usually parents of LOs that age are near enough that they also try to stop their LO.  But some parents are unbelievable.  Once my DD was about 10 months, and wanted to play with a pull toy.  There was a 3 year-old nearby and said to her mom, "no, all of these toys are mine," although she was not playing with the 30 toys that were on a mat nearby at all.  I was like, um, okay.  And the mom was like, "okay, dear."  Why didn't the mom say, "this is a baby pull toy and you can share with this baby."  Really, I try to go when it is not super busy...  It's nice when we meet another child her age with a mom who is generally aware, but I don't see any reason for DD to learn how to interact with wild 4 year-old boys.

emja0214

I had a similar situation. We were at a play place this afternoon and I could not believe all the parents just sitting on the side on their phones and not even looking up to watch their kids. There were many kids running past DD climbing up stairs or trying to push past her. I told them they need to wait their turn and to please be careful. Someone has to give them nice reminders since their parents did not seem to care. Another one kicked my niece in the stomach, when when my SIL nicely said to stop and be careful she continued. Seriously get off your phone and interact with your child!

DCKate

Look, I'm definitely guilty of checking work email while we are at these play places, but like, for a second. Right near DD so I can keep half an eye on her.

Talking into a head set while reading a magazine really did it for me. We all need and deserve a break. But get a sitter! Ugh!

this decaf life

The parents of these other kids seem to disappear the minute they walk in the door. It is totally inappropriate for me to discipline someone else's child, but what do you do in those situations? Yes. I think its inappropriate to discipline someone else's child.

It's also not ok to push a 14 month old off a slide. Am I overreacting? I would probably ask the director of the Gymboree what they do about stuff like that, maybe they could run interference and make sure the parents are aware.

How do you handle those kinds of situations? I would explain to LO that sometimes other kids don't understand what they're doing and that while it isn't nice to push or steal toys occasionally it happens and that if it makes her feel sad it would make another child feel sad. I know DD wouldn't understand that yet but I try to explain things as if she were older.