Bonehead Hubby Moment...

jjtyler

Because the other day that husband slacker post went over so well, I thought I'd share this ;-)

And let me preface this with the fact that my husband is pretty amazing.  He cooks, cleans, does the laundry (of which I am absolutely not allowed to ever touch his), and he is a 50/50 parent when it comes to our daughter (I work a demanding job in NYC, so homework and after school playdates are often his domain).

Now that he has his halo in place, let's talk about how he can be a total BONEHEAD.

Last night we finally sat down to pick the baseball games in the 10 pack I purchased for him for our anniversary.  I figured that he could take our daughter to a couple and then he has some guaranteed boys night outs over the summer.  I should have KNOWN better than to attempt to be the awesome wife. 

Opening Day is next week and a no brainer.  DONE.
Then we had to pass on the Mets vs Yankees rivalry because the game was ON my scheduled C-section of May 15th.  TOTALLY FINE, HE REALLY CAN'T SAY A THING.

THIS IS WHERE HE LOSES ME.
Him: "May 23rd at 4 pm?"
Me: "Um, No." (I thought he was kidding!)
Him: "He'll definitely be here by then, why not?"
Me: "Oh, I don't know, maybe because I will be about a week post C-section with a newborn and our daughter?"

HE KEEPS SCROLLING.
Him: "June 14th?  I think it's a doubleheader"
Me: LOOOOOONG PAUSE.  "Well, I just need to make sure that I have someone here that day to help just in case"
Him:  Truly puzzled and annoyed.  "Why?"
Me:  "Oh, I don't know, maybe because I will be 3 weeks POST major surgery, having been cut open (oh yeah, I was fully dramatic at this point), with a newborn, and an 8 year old to entertain...and you are planning a 12 hour day of drinking with the boys"

HE STOPS SCROLLING, DOES NOT LOOK UP FROM LAPTOP AND SAYS:
"What's the point when there is going to be so many rules?"

Now mind you.  He has his pick of games through the END OF SEPTEMBER.  And there are 78 to choose from.  The first 4-5 that he mentions are either days before I am set to deliver, days I am ACTUALLY delivering, and then days that seem like a HOT SECOND after they stitch me up.  I am TRYING to be that cool wife that encourages him to spend a day with his buddies boozing it up.  I know how much he does for us....Plus those tickets ARE NOT CHEAP.

I calmly get up and tell him good night and to pick whatever effing games he wants.  I also tell him "F@CK yeah there are rules to being a grown-up" and head to bed.  I think he must have either realized he poked the bear or went deaf and mute at that point, because he said nothing and I went to bed to non-sleep.

But seriously, what was he thinking??

bumpuser9353653

Boys are dumb.

Tell him if he wants to go soon after LO is born, he can take your daughter for the day (and hopefully you can find someone to be around to help you out if needed).  That way, he can go see a game, enjoy one-on-one time with his daughter, and you won't have to deal with an a newborn and an 8yr old at the same time.

I'm sure he's just excited to use the tickets you got him so lovingly. Men just don't think sometimes. ;-)

kat8805

Bonehead wife moment - "I bought my husband a series of game tickets for a summer sport, knowing full well I was having a CS and a summer baby."

jjtyler

I am all about compromise and totally not expecting him to be home 24/7.  But, let's be real here.  I am having a C-section ON the rivalry day game and the other game is the day after....so he ain't going to that.

And call me a total beeyotch, but I know my husband well enough to know that a 4pm or 7 pm game on a Friday night or Saturday means he will get very tipsy and be useless that night.  And that was the intent of these built in Boys Night Out opportunities...giving him a night off.

I've been the Designated Driver for almost 9 months now.  I fart when I pee.  I pee when I cough  My nipples look like chocolate pancakes. I have not slept a good night in 3 months.  And I am pretty sure I am getting a hemorrhoid. 

I think he can be smarter on his TEN GAME Choices ;-)

jjtyler

kat8805 said:

Bonehead wife moment - "I bought my husband a series of game tickets for a summer sport, knowing full well I was having a CS and a summer baby."

yeah, not so much.  Once he gets past this, I know it will be good for all of us.  He will get a few games with friends, a few games with his daughter...and I can cash all this capital in for a girls weekend at the end of August for my birthday.  Everyone is a winner.

kat8805

You know what always, without a doubt, ruins a gift for me? When it comes with conditions. I get it, having my own RCS, except my 1st born is 3.5 and sounds like she will be more helpful and self sufficient than you expect your 8 year old to be. I think it was a dumb gift to buy this year knowing your own physical limits and personal expectations.

spacepotatoes

I think this one comes down to communication. It's not unreasonable to want your DH there with you in the weeks during recovery. It's not unreasonable for him to think he can go away for the day. But it IS unreasonable for either of you to think that the other can read minds. If you have definite expectations about when he can start attending games, tell him what those are from the get-go. And maybe if one of those games that is within your recovery period is really important to him, you can compromise? Is there no one else that can stay with you and help you out while DH is gone, if you feel like you need it? Either way, sit down and discuss with him so that you both get on the same page about how this gift was supposed to work.

yvanehtnioj

Ha! My gift to my husband was finally agreeing to get cable, so he can watch baseball games at home all summer. I think the tickets are a good gift, even if the timing isn't the best this year. And if you can arrange childcare for the 8 year old I don't see the big deal about the 2 weeks PP doubleheader. You can generally move around by then right?

kat8805

jjtyler said:

kat8805 said:

Bonehead wife moment - "I bought my husband a series of game tickets for a summer sport, knowing full well I was having a CS and a summer baby."

yeah, not so much.  Once he gets past this, I know it will be good for all of us.  He will get a few games with friends, a few games with his daughter...and I can cash all this capital in for a girls weekend at the end of August for my birthday.  Everyone is a winner.


Oh good. So it was a gift to milk something out for yourself in return.

mileswithmyles

This is why DH and I didn't renew our 15 game pack this year.  I can see how you would be frustrated with this, but maybe the one 3 weeks after wouldn't be so bad for him to go to. 

LoveIsAll25

kat8805 said:

You know what always, without a doubt, ruins a gift for me? When it comes with conditions. I get it, having my own RCS, except my 1st born is 3.5 and sounds like she will be more helpful and self sufficient than you expect your 8 year old to be. I think it was a dumb gift to buy this year knowing your own physical limits and personal expectations.

This. I would be fucking pissed if my DH got me a gift that came with do's and don'ts. I had a csection and my DH went back to work 2 weeks after the csection. It sucked but I managed. I ordered lot's of take out and he took care of me and the baby when he got home.

In regards to your daughter, she is 8 years old. She should be able to help out. Most 8 year olds I know are self sufficient. May 23rd is a Friday, your daughter should be in school anyway so you don't need to take care of her until she gets out of school.

jjtyler

You ladies crack me up, and it's the same ones every time.

I didn't say nononono, I said "Let's just make sure I can have someone by the house to help that day he suggested the doubleheader"........he was the one who got annoyed by the "rules"

My 8 year old is amazing and I am sure she will be fine.  I am just nervous about how I am going to feel 3 weeks post c-section.  I had hip surgery three years ago which was worse because I was non-weight bearing for 8 weeks...I could barely get her breakfast and on the bus for camp when he went back to work.  I worry about recovery and the hip issue with a newborn.

And I didn't get him an 11th anniversary present with the sole purpose of "milking something out of it for me"....you're cute for spinning it that way.  But, when he went to Chicago when my daughter was 9 weeks old for a Bears game and then Vegas for a bachelorette party a couple months later, please believe I "milked" that for my sister trip to Italy while she was studying abroad.  Hence the happy marriage ;-) 

 

NorthernGal248

This is def something my husband would do... sigh...

jjtyler

LoveIsAll25 said:

kat8805 said:

You know what always, without a doubt, ruins a gift for me? When it comes with conditions. I get it, having my own RCS, except my 1st born is 3.5 and sounds like she will be more helpful and self sufficient than you expect your 8 year old to be. I think it was a dumb gift to buy this year knowing your own physical limits and personal expectations.

This. I would be fucking pissed if my DH got me a gift that came with do's and don'ts. I had a csection and my DH went back to work 2 weeks after the csection. It sucked but I managed. I ordered lot's of take out and he took care of me and the baby when he got home.

In regards to your daughter, she is 8 years old. She should be able to help out. Most 8 year olds I know are self sufficient. May 23rd is a Friday, your daughter should be in school anyway so you don't need to take care of her until she gets out of school.

A gift with dos and don'ts?  C'mon.  My husband is also going back to work 2 weeks after my c-section and I will absolutely deal.  I've done it before when I was recovering from surgery.  My daughter will help out immensely and I can coordinate pick up and drop off from school and swimming...but there are 78 games for him to chose from through the end of September.  SEVENTY-EIGHT. 

My only don't is that first 1-2 weeks post birth.  And then if he wants to bang out a doubleheader 3-4 weeks later, let's make sure I have a little help.  That was it.

I had my daughter vaginally last time and I bounced back pretty quick (I was also 9 years younger and had no pre-existing injuries to deal with.  I am in the dark about how this C-section will go for me. 

haylo33

My husband can only take off 3 work days, so 5 max if it works out around a weekend. I'm not having a RCS but if I end up with one, I have no choice but for him to go back. Hearing you say you are worried about being alone 3 weeks PP really makes me nervous

jjtyler

haylo33 said:

My husband can only take off 3 work days, so 5 max if it works out around a weekend. I'm not having a RCS but if I end up with one, I have no choice but for him to go back. Hearing you say you are worried about being alone 3 weeks PP really makes me nervous

I don't know how I will feel.  But having to go back to work is one thing.  I was thinking about him being at work 9-10 hours a day and then on the weekend being gone all day for a ballgame.

LoveIsAll25

jjtyler said:

You ladies crack me up, and it's the same ones every time.

I didn't say nononono, I said "Let's just make sure I can have someone by the house to help that day he suggested the doubleheader"........he was the one who got annoyed by the "rules"

My 8 year old is amazing and I am sure she will be fine.  I am just nervous about how I am going to feel 3 weeks post c-section.  I had hip surgery three years ago which was worse because I was non-weight bearing for 8 weeks...I could barely get her breakfast and on the bus for camp when he went back to work.  I worry about recovery and the hip issue with a newborn.

And I didn't get him an 11th anniversary present with the sole purpose of "milking something out of it for me"....you're cute for spinning it that way.  But, when he went to Chicago when my daughter was 9 weeks old for a Bears game and then Vegas for a bachelorette party a couple months later, please believe I "milked" that for my sister trip to Italy while she was studying abroad.  Hence the happy marriage ;-) 

 

Not once in your post did you mention someone else helping you while he was at the game(s). In each situation you mentioned YOU being with a NEWBORN and an 8 YEAR OLD to entertain.  You also never mentioned having a previous surgery. 

Three years ago your daughter was 5 years old. Of course she needed you a lot more back then. And you said it yourself..she is an amazing 8 year old and will be fine. 

spacepotatoes this all comes down to communication. You gave him a gift with do's and don'ts assuming he will be OK with it. 

jjtyler

LoveIsAll25 said:

Not once in your post did you mention someone else helping you while he was at the game(s). In each situation you mentioned YOU being with a NEWBORN and an 8 YEAR OLD to entertain. 

spacepotatoes this all comes down to communication. You gave him a gift with do's and don'ts assuming he will be OK with it. 

Yeah, I did mention the help:

HE KEEPS SCROLLING.
Him: "June 14th?  I think it's a doubleheader"
Me: LOOOOOONG PAUSE.  "Well, I just need to make sure that I have someone here that day to help just in case"
Him:  Truly puzzled and annoyed.  "Why?"
Me:  "Oh, I don't know, maybe because I will be 3 weeks POST major surgery, having been cut open (oh yeah, I was fully dramatic at this point), with a newborn, and an 8 year old to entertain...and you are planning a 12 hour day of drinking with the boys"

And I thought that the idea of a doubleheader on that day was a bit much...but that's just me.

Yes, he is amazing....but this was a bonehead moment.  Should I have NOT gotten him the tickets...maybe.  But we will communicate and work it out.  I was cranky last night from a long commute home. 

I have never had a c-section, so I don't know how I will feel.  This may all be a moot point at the end of the day.

kat8805

haylo33 said:

My husband can only take off 3 work days, so 5 max if it works out around a weekend. I'm not having a RCS but if I end up with one, I have no choice but for him to go back. Hearing you say you are worried about being alone 3 weeks PP really makes me nervous

Yea, mine took 2 days off, both unpaid, then we had a weekend, and back to work he went. After a CS, in a 3 story townhouse. Worrying about a day a few weeks post op seems a bit ridiculous. This is an abdominal surgery, not a weight bearing limb/joint surgery.

OP, your first line in your original post stated you already knew how this kind of thread went over just the other day. So yes, all the same bitches are going to chime in on your stupidity, which you yourself already admitted to. You knew this was going to be a big fat fail. Get out your spoon and eat it up boo.

jjtyler

kat8805 said:

My husband can only take off 3 work days, so 5 max if it works out around a weekend. I'm not having a RCS but if I end up with one, I have no choice but for him to go back. Hearing you say you are worried about being alone 3 weeks PP really makes me nervous

Yea, mine took 2 days off, both unpaid, then we had a weekend, and back to work he went. After a CS, in a 3 story townhouse. Worrying about a day a few weeks post op seems a bit ridiculous. This is an abdominal surgery, not a weight bearing limb/joint surgery. OP, your first line in your original post stated you already knew how this kind of thread went over just the other day. So yes, all the same bitches are going to chime in on your stupidity, which you yourself already admitted to. You knew this was going to be a big fat fail. Get out your spoon and eat it up boo.

You're my favorite.  Clearly not hugged enough as a child. 

fatbarbie0226

I think you are being a little unreasonable. Yeah, it's obvious he can't go to a game the day of your c-section. But, with my c-section, I felt pretty good after a week. Well enough to take care of myself and the baby for a day.
My husband goes back to work 4 days after my scheduled c-section. If the baby happens to come earlier, he will have to go back to work the day after I have the baby until his scheduled time off. Also, my kid will barely be 2 and hardly as self sufficient as an 8 year old.
I just get his side better than yours. Tell him the dates you want him home with you and let him pick around those dates. No reason to get your panties in a bunch.

awc1986

I totally understand where you're coming from, OP. You don't know how you're going to feel after the c-section and how much recovery you'll need, which is totally fair. However, you need to give DH his own space. Think from his perspective. If he's been working 9-10 hour days while also playing family man then he should be able to enjoy the gift his wife gave him. Can he not go with a friend? You may be grateful for the space.

My Dad is taking part in a fundraiser on my birthday on may 30th, but I can't attend as I'll have a 3-4 week old, don't know how long it will take me to recover from the birth and it will be the anniversary of my MMC. I didn't say he couldn't do it because i can't go. There's other people going in my place.

I'm sure your daughter will be much more helpful than you think.

Jennyinheaven

kat8805 said:

haylo33 said:

My husband can only take off 3 work days, so 5 max if it works out around a weekend. I'm not having a RCS but if I end up with one, I have no choice but for him to go back. Hearing you say you are worried about being alone 3 weeks PP really makes me nervous

Yea, mine took 2 days off, both unpaid, then we had a weekend, and back to work he went. After a CS, in a 3 story townhouse. Worrying about a day a few weeks post op seems a bit ridiculous. This is an abdominal surgery, not a weight bearing limb/joint surgery.

OP, your first line in your original post stated you already knew how this kind of thread went over just the other day. So yes, all the same bitches are going to chime in on your stupidity, which you yourself already admitted to. You knew this was going to be a big fat fail. Get out your spoon and eat it up boo.

I don't understand why it is necessary to go from 0 to b...ch in 5 seconds on the OP. As others have said it obviously comes down to communication, I would just let him know that you're nervous about how you are going to feel post surgery, then also try to be flexible and possibly have a friend or family member come help you out those days you're concerned about

jjtyler

awc1986 said:

I totally understand where you're coming from, OP. You don't know how you're going to feel after the c-section and how much recovery you'll need, which is totally fair. However, you need to give DH his own space. Think from his perspective. If he's been working 9-10 hour days while also playing family man then he should be able to enjoy the gift his wife gave him. Can he not go with a friend? You may be grateful for the space. My Dad is taking part in a fundraiser on my birthday on may 30th, but I can't attend as I'll have a 3-4 week old, don't know how long it will take me to recover from the birth and it will be the anniversary of my MMC. I didn't say he couldn't do it because i can't go. There's other people going in my place. I'm sure your daughter will be much more helpful than you think.

I am working to have him enjoy this gift.  I want him to.  If there weren't 60 other games to chose from, maybe I would feel like you...go, and enjoy yourself this one day (like the fundraiser). 

kat8805

jjtyler said:

kat8805 said:

haylo33 said:

My husband can only take off 3 work days, so 5 max if it works out around a weekend. I'm not having a RCS but if I end up with one, I have no choice but for him to go back. Hearing you say you are worried about being alone 3 weeks PP really makes me nervous

Yea, mine took 2 days off, both unpaid, then we had a weekend, and back to work he went. After a CS, in a 3 story townhouse. Worrying about a day a few weeks post op seems a bit ridiculous. This is an abdominal surgery, not a weight bearing limb/joint surgery.

OP, your first line in your original post stated you already knew how this kind of thread went over just the other day. So yes, all the same bitches are going to chime in on your stupidity, which you yourself already admitted to. You knew this was going to be a big fat fail. Get out your spoon and eat it up boo.

You're my favorite.  Clearly not hugged enough as a child. 




Yup. Bet you feel bad for my DH and my kids too )

Jennyinheaven

kat8805 said:

jjtyler said:

kat8805 said:

haylo33 said:

My husband can only take off 3 work days, so 5 max if it works out around a weekend. I'm not having a RCS but if I end up with one, I have no choice but for him to go back. Hearing you say you are worried about being alone 3 weeks PP really makes me nervous

Yea, mine took 2 days off, both unpaid, then we had a weekend, and back to work he went. After a CS, in a 3 story townhouse. Worrying about a day a few weeks post op seems a bit ridiculous. This is an abdominal surgery, not a weight bearing limb/joint surgery.

OP, your first line in your original post stated you already knew how this kind of thread went over just the other day. So yes, all the same bitches are going to chime in on your stupidity, which you yourself already admitted to. You knew this was going to be a big fat fail. Get out your spoon and eat it up boo.

You're my favorite.  Clearly not hugged enough as a child. 

Yup. Bet you feel bad for my DH and my kids too )

I do you seem mean ,non compromising and super judgemental

kat8805

Jennyinheaven said:

kat8805 said:

My husband can only take off 3 work days, so 5 max if it works out around a weekend. I'm not having a RCS but if I end up with one, I have no choice but for him to go back. Hearing you say you are worried about being alone 3 weeks PP really makes me nervous

Yea, mine took 2 days off, both unpaid, then we had a weekend, and back to work he went. After a CS, in a 3 story townhouse. Worrying about a day a few weeks post op seems a bit ridiculous. This is an abdominal surgery, not a weight bearing limb/joint surgery. OP, your first line in your original post stated you already knew how this kind of thread went over just the other day. So yes, all the same bitches are going to chime in on your stupidity, which you yourself already admitted to. You knew this was going to be a big fat fail. Get out your spoon and eat it up boo.

You're my favorite.  Clearly not hugged enough as a child. 

Yup. Bet you feel bad for my DH and my kids too )

I do you seem mean ,non compromising and super judgemental

And you seem super special.

Sorry, I wasn't raised on fairy tales and fantasy. I tell it like it is, I don't have the time or the energy to sugarcoat shit for people who deserve a good slap upside the head with reality. Sorry you all seem to feed on flattery, and enjoy the "glitter shitters" more. I take no offense to that, and I quite enjoy watching you squirm when everyone doesn't agree with you, like you've never heard NO before in your entire entitled, self important lives. I'll keep enjoying being myself, and I'll keep enjoying you all being you, because it's enlightening, to say the least, to see how the other half thinks.

83edwards

OP, how much help are you going to need? 

I get the first couple of dates.....I'm sure your H was just excited and not paying attention when he mentioned those.

3 weeks later? I mean, why do you need someone there to help you? 

lv2011

jjtyler said:

You ladies crack me up, and it's the same ones every time.

I didn't say nononono, I said "Let's just make sure I can have someone by the house to help that day he suggested the doubleheader"........he was the one who got annoyed by the "rules"

My 8 year old is amazing and I am sure she will be fine.  I am just nervous about how I am going to feel 3 weeks post c-section.  I had hip surgery three years ago which was worse because I was non-weight bearing for 8 weeks...I could barely get her breakfast and on the bus for camp when he went back to work.  I worry about recovery and the hip issue with a newborn.

And I didn't get him an 11th anniversary present with the sole purpose of "milking something out of it for me"....you're cute for spinning it that way.  But, when he went to Chicago when my daughter was 9 weeks old for a Bears game and then Vegas for a bachelorette party a couple months later, please believe I "milked" that for my sister trip to Italy while she was studying abroad.  Hence the happy marriage ;-) 

 

Ok, you don't give someone a gift and then tell them how they can use it. That's crap. And, having had a hip replacement myself when DD1 was only 3, I understand worrying about recovery with a c-section and a newborn. BUT you got extremely agitated and pissy about HIS gift when you have plenty of time to work out having an extra set of hands while he's gone to a game.

Seriously, you get no sympathy from me on this.

Oh, and at 8yrs old, DD1 would have been a champ at helping with just about everything. You're over-reacting.

krlovell

OP I understand your frustration but I think you need to take a step back and really look at the situation. My husband is taking 2 weeks fmla for when baby girl is born and then back to work he goes. We have a 2 y/o that we have no intention of sending to daycare while I'm on maternity leave. To top it off my husband has a military training for 3 weeks during my maternity leave so there will be no breaks, no 8 yr old to help or family very close to help or allow me to have 5 mins to myself. I'm trying very hard to be sympathetic to how you are feeling but I'm with the others in the fact that you're over reacting especially since it sounds like you married a great guy that has hung the moon for you. Sure he can't go to a game the day of your c section but I personally think any other day should be fair game.

awc1986

I just want to add that my DH is getting no paternity leave whatsoever, because he's starting a new job and won't be entitled in time. He may get a few days vacation. Then I'm on my own. I'm not trying to one-up OP at all, but some of us will be getting by on barely any help at all. I'd love an 8yo who can help out!

Jennyinheaven

kat8805 said:

Jennyinheaven said:

kat8805 said:

jjtyler said:

kat8805 said:

haylo33 said:

My husband can only take off 3 work days, so 5 max if it works out around a weekend. I'm not having a RCS but if I end up with one, I have no choice but for him to go back. Hearing you say you are worried about being alone 3 weeks PP really makes me nervous

Yea, mine took 2 days off, both unpaid, then we had a weekend, and back to work he went. After a CS, in a 3 story townhouse. Worrying about a day a few weeks post op seems a bit ridiculous. This is an abdominal surgery, not a weight bearing limb/joint surgery.

OP, your first line in your original post stated you already knew how this kind of thread went over just the other day. So yes, all the same bitches are going to chime in on your stupidity, which you yourself already admitted to. You knew this was going to be a big fat fail. Get out your spoon and eat it up boo.

You're my favorite.  Clearly not hugged enough as a child. 

Yup. Bet you feel bad for my DH and my kids too )

I do you seem mean ,non compromising and super judgemental

And you seem super special.

Sorry, I wasn't raised on fairy tales and fantasy. I tell it like it is, I don't have the time or the energy to sugarcoat shit for people who deserve a good slap upside the head with reality. Sorry you all seem to feed on flattery, and enjoy the "glitter shitters" more. I take no offense to that, and I quite enjoy watching you squirm when everyone doesn't agree with you, like you've never heard NO before in your entire entitled, self important lives. I'll keep enjoying being myself, and I'll keep enjoying you all being you, because it's enlightening, to say the least, to see how the other half thinks.
</blockquote
Glitter shitters! This gave me an interesting mental image

Alexinav

I understand your worry about the c section especially if you didn't have one with your daughter maybe instead of posting the convo between you and your husband you should have asked other stms who had a csection about how long it took to recover. I can't agree with the "absurd 3 week need for help" as other pps are saying because I have only had vaginal but I don't agree with giving a gift with certain guidelines. Or the way you handled it. I think it's just safe to say it was a bad year for a "gift" like this one. If he made the purchase himself than I can understand your reaction to him not understanding the dates. But he didn't. I have a 7 year old boy my husband is not taking any time off from work and soon after my due date my son will be on vacation. Im worried about that because it's an everyday think and it's his summer vacation I don't want him to get bored or feel the harsh reality of not being the only child anymore so I think that's where your coming from there with your 8 year old. Good luck I hope everything work out for you guys I'm sure it will and I hope for a smooth short recovery for you

jfletcher3113

Hahaha!!! I am only laughing because I could SO see my husband and I having this exact conversation. After reading everyone's reactions, I think I'm maybe reading this in a much lighter tone than everyone else, though.

I get it... he has DOZENS of other games he can pick from so it's comical, and annoying, that he continued to pick ones right around her surgery. I don't think it's unreasonable for her to want him to go later in the summer. (OK yes, maybe she could've said that outright)

And I'm sorry, going to a baseball game with plenty of other options is not the same as a husband who goes back to work. My husband only gets a week and I understand. But if he told me that a week after the baby was here he was going off for a day of golf with his friends I would immediately be annoyed.

Everyone needs to relax on OP a bit, I think.

And might I add, my husband would be stoked if I gave him this gift - extra stipulations or not.

TigersFan12

He may have 78 games to choose from, but if you know anything at all about baseball then you know he'd much rather go to a division game or a game where they're playing a good team, as opposed to a Sunday day game against, say, the Astros or the Marlins (no offense to either of those teams). Cut the guy some slack.

LUCKY22

TigersFan12 said:

He may have 78 games to choose from, but if you know anything at all about baseball then you know he'd much rather go to a division game or a game where they're playing a good team, as opposed to a Sunday day game against, say, the Astros or the Marlins (no offense to either of those teams). Cut the guy some slack.

Completely agree with this.  Going to pointless game is just that, pointless. 

MamaismyJOB

LUCKY22 said:

TigersFan12 said:

He may have 78 games to choose from, but if you know anything at all about baseball then you know he'd much rather go to a division game or a game where they're playing a good team, as opposed to a Sunday day game against, say, the Astros or the Marlins (no offense to either of those teams). Cut the guy some slack.

Completely agree with this.  Going to pointless game is just that, pointless. 


Unless you are a fan. Can't pick and choose when you cheer and support your team. Obviously some games are better than others but as a true fan, you root on and support regardless of opponent.

And Sunday afternoon, summer baseball games are phenomenal.

LUCKY22

MamaismyJOB said:

TigersFan12 said:

He may have 78 games to choose from, but if you know anything at all about baseball then you know he'd much rather go to a division game or a game where they're playing a good team, as opposed to a Sunday day game against, say, the Astros or the Marlins (no offense to either of those teams). Cut the guy some slack.

Completely agree with this.  Going to pointless game is just that, pointless. 

Unless you are a fan. Can't pick and choose when you cheer and support your team. Obviously some games are better than others but as a true fan, you root on and support regardless of opponent. And Sunday afternoon, summer baseball games are phenomenal.

As a fan, I'll watch it on TV and not spend the day away from my family.  As someone that is a fan and wants to make the most of my limited games I have access to, I'll chose the ones that are likely to be most entertaining. 

ETA: We have season tickets for baseball at the major university where I live.  We go to every game we can, regardless of how interesting it should be (conference, non-conference, etc...). However, if I could only chose 10, why the hell wouldn't I chose the best 10 I possibly could???

LoveIsAll25

jjtyler said:

LoveIsAll25 said:

Not once in your post did you mention someone else helping you while he was at the game(s). In each situation you mentioned YOU being with a NEWBORN and an 8 YEAR OLD to entertain. 

spacepotatoes this all comes down to communication. You gave him a gift with do's and don'ts assuming he will be OK with it. 

Yeah, I did mention the help:

HE KEEPS SCROLLING.
Him: "June 14th?  I think it's a doubleheader"
Me: LOOOOOONG PAUSE.  "Well, I just need to make sure that I have someone here that day to help just in case"
Him:  Truly puzzled and annoyed.  "Why?"
Me:  "Oh, I don't know, maybe because I will be 3 weeks POST major surgery, having been cut open (oh yeah, I was fully dramatic at this point), with a newborn, and an 8 year old to entertain...and you are planning a 12 hour day of drinking with the boys"

And I thought that the idea of a doubleheader on that day was a bit much...but that's just me.

Yes, he is amazing....but this was a bonehead moment.  Should I have NOT gotten him the tickets...maybe.  But we will communicate and work it out.  I was cranky last night from a long commute home. 

I have never had a c-section, so I don't know how I will feel.  This may all be a moot point at the end of the day.

I missed that statement from the original post. Sorry. Csections are not the most comfortable thing in the world but a few weeks post surgery you should be fine. Again, let your DH have his double hitter.

NorthernGal248

OP - at first I kind of agreed with you because my husband does sometimes make plans that don't work time wise and I have to ask him to switch. However, I don't tell him to f@ck off. If this gift was coming with rules you honestly should have told him about these rules before you let him get carried away with planning. I'm sure he would love to take your daughter out to a couple games - but shouldn't he be the one to decide who he goes with? You said your daughter was great, so I don't understand why you are so worried about having her and your new baby around. If you simply don't want to be left alone why don't you just ask a friend to come visit or go visit a friend?

Freaking out at other posters when you yourself said that you knew this sort of stuff gets flamed just shows immaturity. If you don't want someone to tell you how it is then don't put it up online.

Honestly, I feel bad for your husband. It seems like he has to ask you for premission in order to go have a good time, and when he comes back you will use it against him in order to get whatever you want. Personally, this doesn't sound like a happy marriage.

jjtyler

kat8805 said:

kat8805 said:

My husband can only take off 3 work days, so 5 max if it works out around a weekend. I'm not having a RCS but if I end up with one, I have no choice but for him to go back. Hearing you say you are worried about being alone 3 weeks PP really makes me nervous

Yea, mine took 2 days off, both unpaid, then we had a weekend, and back to work he went. After a CS, in a 3 story townhouse. Worrying about a day a few weeks post op seems a bit ridiculous. This is an abdominal surgery, not a weight bearing limb/joint surgery. OP, your first line in your original post stated you already knew how this kind of thread went over just the other day. So yes, all the same bitches are going to chime in on your stupidity, which you yourself already admitted to. You knew this was going to be a big fat fail. Get out your spoon and eat it up boo.

You're my favorite.  Clearly not hugged enough as a child. 

Yup. Bet you feel bad for my DH and my kids too )

nah, it's all good.  I can just shut my laptop and poof, the anti-glitter shitter crap is all gone.