You opinion/thoughts/feeling about relationships after seperation

Crystal318

Hi Everyone! 

I was just curious as to how you are approaching the dating life/starting a relationship with someone...especially with a child?

I have been single for 2.5 years. My son is 3.5 years old.  I feel like I am so stand offish when it comes to having a serious relationship.  I enjoy dating and I have been on a good number of dates but afterwards I am kind of just like "nah, he's not the one" or I immediately find something wrong with them and I move on. I feel like I am kind of set in my own ways now. I do my own thing...which consists of working M-F, working out, picking my son up from day care, maybe going to the park, tball pracitce/games or just coming home and making dinner for my son and I, watching tv, playing a little bit and then bedtime routine.  But I am not unhappy....AT ALL. I can do what I want, when I want to. I can go out with girlfriends, I spend all my time with son, I can work out when I want, whatever.  I have a great balance of social life, work life, life with my child who is part of every aspect of my life. I feel like I dont have room/time for someone else and honestly I think I am scared to commit and not sure that I would want to.   

But then the other half of me does want to spend my life with someone, have a positive male role model for my son (his dad is a drug addict/alcoholic), have someone to wake up next to and fall asleep next to, take vacations with, to grow old with etc.  But its just getting to that point.  Getting through all the BS dating scene. Finding someone who I can trust and trust around my son.  A lot of dates I find seem to only want one thing and I am not that type of girl. I am 32 years old and I feel like I have a lot to offer but I am just not sure who I want to offer it to/share it with, if anyone at all.

Just wanted to see how you feel about relationships and dating......

Thanks!

jesuisfatiguee

I'm pretty much like you. I've been single for less time and have been on 0 dates since I got KU. I'm just not interested. My libido isn't the issue, it's something else. I work M-F, hang out with DS, occasionally take a couple hours on a weekend to myself while he plays at a sitter's house... And I'm good with that.

I've always been a bit of a romantic, so I think I'll want a relationship again some day. Exactly like you said - someone to share my life with, wake up next to, and all that. Especially when DS stops needing me so much 24/7 and moves to his own bed, I'm sure I'll get lonelier. But the thought of dating and getting to know someone and trying to see if they fit in my/our life, kiiiinda makes my stomach turn.

There's also the issue of having limited to no babysitter/backup on a regular basis, and I don't want a bunch of randos coming in and out of DS' life, you know? I would like to date someone for a good 6 mos to 1 year before having them around DS in a more-than-friends capacity. Ideally, anyway.

Have you considered signing up with Match.com? From what I understand, it's a pretty decent service focused more on long-term relationships than just hookups. I know nothing about meeting people IRL, so that's my only point of reference lol

ETA - grammar, holy shit

MinnesotaMomma91

Pof is also based more towards relationships then hookups. And obviousley there is eharmony.

Im in a relationship with a wonderful man who is everything to me. Hes my first love and we were on and off for many years. Weve since cut the bull shit for our kids.

I can understand not wanting some tool in and out of my childs life and wanting someone who wants the same things as you it is possible

thepixiecat

I think if you're happy let it ride.  You'll know when you find the right guy.  Until then, have fun!

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eg214

No way is POF geared towards relationships!!!! NO WAY!!!! Everyone I've ever known to get on there has been bombarded with hookup guys. I was on there for about 4 hours and my inbox was so flooded I was disgusted. It screamed desperation. Maybe in certain areas or something it isn't as bad.

I've used them all and prefer Christian Mingle. But if thats not your thing, Match is def better than eHarmony. I'm slow as molasses but eHarmony was just crazy slow and its processes were crazy.

I was 100% anti online dating before trying it but will def do it again when I'm ready. I met Marine on Match. Only guy I met online and went out with. Talked to a few on CM.

Crystal318

Thanks everyone!   Make me feel better to hear everyone else's point of view!