Trying to get Excited about TTC baby 2

Ladymouse

It makes sense to start TTC soon (and DH is excited to do so), but I'm vaguely dreading pregnancy for minor reasons, the chief of which is morning sickness.  DS is 15 months old, plan to start TTC when he's 18 months (he's been an easy baby aside from sleep).  Is pregnancy while changing poopy diapers and taking care of a toddler as bad as I imagine it to be?

nopegoat

It's definitely different and harder than the first go around lol. No naps, still have to cook meals even if the smell makes you want to barf, for me all the aches and pains started earlier and we're worse but I had a toddler to care for so yea. But it is so worth it and it goes by so much quicker.

jnnfrrose6

It's not so bad.  Whenever I had really bad waves of morning sickness, I just leaned more on DH to get meals ready or change a diaper.  Once we got past that (and the exhaustion from first tri, there were many evenings that I was asleep shortly after DS), it's been just flying by.

Ladymouse

I have about 5 more "good" fertile years - menopause starts 10 years earlier than average in my family.  We are more sold on the idea of three bio kids if baby 2 is a girl (not that 3 boys would be bad, but I very much want a daughter too.)  We've got 1-2 years before the next baby assuming there isn't an infertility issue.  We are able to stay in one place for that long (DH's job is on a yearly contract.  He had a false "the contract will renew" during the last pregnancy and we moved twice.  Moving during pregnancy with a toddler is something that my husband dreads, unsurprisingly.)  I am... OK with the local hospital (hospital related PTSD, and the local nurses and OBs are respectful of that.)  We were planning on waiting until DS is potty trained (we do cloth diapers), but it doesn't make sense with my biological clock to wait an extra 6-18 months, assuming that he won't pick it up with the time it takes to both conceive and go through pregnancy.  

DH is one of 5, and they were all 2-2.5 years apart, so he's eager to get a move on for the spacing.  He thinks that kids aren't as close when they're more than 3 years apart.  DH IS swayed by emotional reasons/personal history in the timing, but from a logical, logistical standpoint - he's right.  With DS, I was the eager one, in part due to the biological clock and in part because of a wildly unsuccessful job hunt in a town with 20% unemployment (I finally got a job offer and from my preferred employer - when I was 2 months pregnant and puking every half hour.)  And both my mom's pregnancies were super easy, so I had NO idea how hard it'd be - now I do. And I'm looking forward to meeting baby 2.  I'm just dreading pregnancy itself, and am trying to get excited and not just "yeah, we should probably start trying."

northernkhaleesi

I'm with the others. It doesn't sound like you're ready to me. Everything you say is followed by a negative association of some sort - right down to your DS being an easy baby, except for sleep. 

Pregnancy takes a toll on a woman's body, and you absolutely need additional support when you're dealing with a second (or subsequent) pregnancy. There's more to do. But you deal. You ask for help if you need it - but you shouldn't have to "try" to get excited.