Sleepovers — The Bump
School-Aged Children

Sleepovers

Has your kid hosted or gone to a sleepover yet?  If so, how old was your child when he/she started going to sleepovers?  How did it go?  Have any tips for hosting sleepovers?  Have any tips for coaxing a reluctant kid into sleeping over at a friend's house?
High School English teacher and mom of 2 kids:

DD, born 9/06/00 -- 12th grade
DS, born 8/25/04 -- 7th grade

Re: Sleepovers

  • So, my two kids were REALLY different when it came to this part of childhood.

    My DD, although not a particularly shy kid, never loved sleepovers.  She probably did the first one around age 8.  I think a few things soured her on sleepovers: 1) she is an early riser, and she always had trouble staying asleep in the morning at a friend's house and 2) her bff from that stage of childhood did not have a lot of supervision at home.  The bff's mom would just watch TV in her own room while the kids had the run of the house.  So, she went through a stage where she avoided sleepovers, particularly with this friend.  Now that she's a teenager, she has totally changed her mind.  She LIVES for sleepovers now!

    My DS has had one best friend since preschool.  Although he can be less independent than his sister, he did his first sleepover with his best bud when they were only 6.  His friend wasn't ready to sleep over at our house until several months after the first sleepover at his own house.  Now these two have slept over at each others' houses many times.  

    My worst sleepover nightmare happened recently.  My son had his two best buds over for a sleepover.  Everything was going fine -- pizza had been eaten, video games were being played, everyone was happy... until one of the guest kids yelled that I needed to come running because my DS was in the bathroom throwing up.  We had to send both the friends home, and my son spent the rest of the night throwing up.  
    :-&
    High School English teacher and mom of 2 kids:

    DD, born 9/06/00 -- 12th grade
    DS, born 8/25/04 -- 7th grade
  • Sorry you had a sick kid! My kids are 8 and haven't had a sleepover yet.
    Wendy Twins 1/27/06. DS and DD
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  • rsd12rsd12 member
    edited March 2014
    We have had cousins sleep over, so we all kinda knew what to expect ; )

    My oldest had his BFF sleepover before we moved out of state and he was 6. That was the first official one!

    This past summer I had friends offer to take my boys for my bday. My oldest (then 7) went to one of his friends house (remember we moved recently). And my two younger boys (then 3 and 5) went to another friends house that has kids the same age. They did really well! Then again we have traveled a lot recently especially after our move so they have really adjusted to sleeping anywhere!

    My oldest (now 8) had his friend sleepover recently too! He would love to have sleepovers every weekend if we could ; )

    To add:
    As far as tips, I like having my husband home and available to help!
    Boy 1 2/06 - Boy 2 12/07 - Boy 3 9/09
  • DS1 wants to do one but he still wears pull-ups at night, so he's too scared. :(. He's 7.5.
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  • DS1 wants to do one but he still wears pull-ups at night, so he's too scared. :(. He's 7.5.
    My son has this issue as well, only he doesn't wear pull-ups.  (They always leaked anyway; he admitted he was less likely to force himself to wake up if he knew he could just go in the pull up.)

    So, when my son has an accident at night, the sheets are soaked. Fortunately, when he's away from home, he doesn't sleep as soundly, and he doesn't tend to have accidents. I privately told his BFF's mom that he occasionally wets the bed -- only she knows, not my son's friend. But I knew that she was the kind of person who would roll with it... and appreciate the heads up!

    They are expensive, but you can get pull ups that look just like boxer briefs.  We have discussed buying these for sleepovers.  My guy and his friends get their pjs on in the bathroom with some privacy, though, so he has opted not to wear them.

    Keep the faith!  At age 6, my son used to wake up wet every morning.  My pedi swore to me that he would outgrow this with no intervention, and that sometime before age 10 it would almost go away, and by 12 he would totally outgrow it.  At just around 7.5, he went from pretty regular accidents to waking up wet very rarely -- like once every 3 months.  
    High School English teacher and mom of 2 kids:

    DD, born 9/06/00 -- 12th grade
    DS, born 8/25/04 -- 7th grade
    august06mom
  • rsd12rsd12 member
    My middle son is 6 and is in a training pant every night. He very rarely wakes up dry. I like the idea of the training pant that looks like boxers for special occasions if he needs them as he gets older.He's only in k this year so I am not really worried yet...
    Boy 1 2/06 - Boy 2 12/07 - Boy 3 9/09


  • DS1 wants to do one but he still wears pull-ups at night, so he's too scared. :(. He's 7.5.

    My son has this issue as well, only he doesn't wear pull-ups.  (They always leaked anyway; he admitted he was less likely to force himself to wake up if he knew he could just go in the pull up.)

    So, when my son has an accident at night, the sheets are soaked. Fortunately, when he's away from home, he doesn't sleep as soundly, and he doesn't tend to have accidents. I privately told his BFF's mom that he occasionally wets the bed -- only she knows, not my son's friend. But I knew that she was the kind of person who would roll with it... and appreciate the heads up!

    They are expensive, but you can get pull ups that look just like boxer briefs.  We have discussed buying these for sleepovers.  My guy and his friends get their pjs on in the bathroom with some privacy, though, so he has opted not to wear them.

    Keep the faith!  At age 6, my son used to wake up wet every morning.  My pedi swore to me that he would outgrow this with no intervention, and that sometime before age 10 it would almost go away, and by 12 he would totally outgrow it.  At just around 7.5, he went from pretty regular accidents to waking up wet very rarely -- like once every 3 months.  


    Thanks for sharing. He's such a deep sleeper that he just doesn't wake up. Even with pull-ups, he still sometimes were the bed.

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  • "He's such a deep sleeper that he just doesn't wake up."

    This was my son, exactly.  Something just seemed to change neurologically with him between 7th and 8th birthday.  For instance, even at age 7 if he fell asleep in the car, I would have to carry him inside, because it would be impossible to wake him up!  It was hilarious for a while, because he's really tall, and my DH or I would be carrying this long, gangly-legged boy, who'd be passed out like a toddler!
    High School English teacher and mom of 2 kids:

    DD, born 9/06/00 -- 12th grade
    DS, born 8/25/04 -- 7th grade
  • DS was in 2nd grade, age 7, when we first did a sleepover. The first few were with just his BFF. Now he is 8.5 and he has gone to and we have had a few sleepovers with multiple kids, but those are a little crazy because there is really no sleeping. We only allow those when we literally have nothing to do the next day because he tends to be completely wiped out.

    He also had the issue of not waking up to go to the bathroom for a long time and was still in pull ups at night until he was 6.5 or so.

     

  • My DD went to her first at age 3. She just had another one two weekends ago. 
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  • fredalina said:
    Seriously? 3? Was this a cousin thing or helping out a mom friend having a new baby thing, or really just a "Let's have a friend from preschool come torture us during the night" thing? I figure first grade is typical, or it's what I remember anyway. Can't start now as my kid is still in her crib! (In daybed/toddler bed mode). I intend to buy some bunk beds this summer when we have a bit more cash flow (paying in advance for summer camp and still paying preschool plus owing on taxes sucks!)
    It was a mom friend who invited her over. Our daughters are the same age and went to preschool together and are best friends, and the mom and I are good friends. She's actually spent the night over there several times, most recently a couple weekends ago (and I'd gladly reciprocate if I wasn't living with my sister). We also did several cousin sleepovers, and she's spent the night with grandparents, but that's a lot different because it's family. 
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  • As a kid, I was 3 or 4 when I first went to one. I had no anxiety, so I was usually the one sleeping over at friends'. But these were good friends of my parents/neighbors/etc. I would have no problem if someone wanted to take Reese at about 3/4. :)
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    [Deleted User]
  • Haha @fredalina, I'm with you on that. My friend has a ton of patience! 
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  • DS1 was probably 3 when he first slept over at a friend's house but it was less of a sleepover and more that my friend (who's daughter was his BFF) was babysitting DS1 for me to go pick DH up from the airport after being in Afghanistan for 7 months and told me not to worry about getting DS1 late that night.  He loved it and she said they gave her no issues when it was bedtime.  He's slept over at one of his buddy's quite a few times this year and his mom also doesn't have issues with them going to sleep.  She usually lets them stay up an hour or so later and then puts them to bed and tells them if she has to come in there once that she'll separate them.  

    We've had DS1's old BFF sleep over before she moved when they were 4 and we let them "camp out" in the playroom.  They had played so hard before dinner that they both fell asleep watching a movie and we didn't hear a peep out of them until 7am.  His BFF has come over a few times but not as often as he goes to his house.  He still has some overnight potty issues and is embarrassed to stay over so DS1 just goes over there.  He is completely oblivious to the potty issues and just thinks it's fun to stay over at someone else's house.  

    I'll also add that the only people he's had sleepovers with are people who we are close family friends with.  None of his friends from school have asked yes and he's not asked to have them over.  I would be less likely to agree if I didn't know the family really well.


  • macchiattomacchiatto member
    edited April 2014
    My boys turned 5 in January. Last summer, my husband had several heart surgeries. My boys (4.5 at the time) slept over at a friend's house 3 of those times (2-3 nights at a time) while I stayed at the hospital with my husband. They thought of it as a sleepover. I haven't hosted one yet, but I definitely owe my friend. :) I haven't reciprocated yet because she told me he has a very difficult time sleeping away from home.
    fraternal twin boys born january 2009
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