Cosleeping and bed sharing

Pandamom416

I am a FTM and plan on room sharing only. I'd love to keep her in her crib/room but I think that is more likely to go out the window. My husband and I are big people and we share a full size bed so there's literally no room for baby to go in our bed. It makes it simple to say no bed sharing bc we can't do it safely and that was my plan. I hate the idea of kids in bed with me bc I've seen them never leave my brother/SIL.

olenkapdx

No way on bed sharing...both SO and I flop around all night, for one thing.   We are planning to room share though I am actually wondering how that's going to play out.  I have a feeling SO's crazy snoring and groaning and sleep talking is going to wake the baby up repeatedly.

TallaB

No to the bed-sharing. Toddler sure, infant no.

The hospital I work at actually has a campaign going right now about the dangers of bed sharing based on the increased number of suffocation patients we've seen. When I saw the commercial for cool-cap therapy that has been used on suffocation infants, that was enough for me! Call it fear mongering if you want, i trust the professionals I work with. Not worth the risk in my opinion.

nikkimorello

We don't plan on bed sharing at night but we purchased the 'Baby Delight Snuggle Nest Surround' (see pic) and I envision using it during the day for naps...so I can nap with baby! Has anyone used this before? What were your experiences? It's supposed to be breathable and alleviate the chances of sheets/pillows getting too close to baby.

LyndseyLC

We have bed shared with dd since she was born. It was so much easier for us to sleep and for me to breastfeed. Also with the layout of our house her room is on main floor on other side of house from our bedroom.

Right now I plan to keep her in Bed with is and put ds in pack n play bassinet part to start right next to our bed or the rock n play

JessieAlbin

While I feel like it should be common sense that those of us in the FTM camp reserve the right to change our minds on issues we feel strongly about given new information, that doesn't make us idiots or negate the validity of our opinions on issues we have educated ourselves on. Bump crush level up on @ColleenSwerb‌ for calling out how obnoxious it is for anyone, STM or otherwise, to tell a pregnant woman "just you wait, you're GOING to think/feel/do differently!"

You don't know my lyyyfe!!

Bees Everywhere

I'll just share my personal experience...

I had DS in a bassinet right beside our bed- right next to me. I was so tuned into him I could hear him start to stir (every 2-3 hours) and before he was completely awake I could reach over and nurse him back to sleep. I loved it because I could just barely wake up and nurse him without getting out of bed and DH could sleep through all of it. And because he never got to the point of crying he'd go back to sleep quickly.

Earlier on I think I'd change his diaper just as he was first waking up and then re-swaddle him and nurse him to sleep. I'd barely have to get up and DH would only wake up some nights and even then only once or twice or for very short times. 

It's amazing I've forgotten so much of how we did things (like changing diapers in the night- I guess it's a blur) but personally, I really liked that I didn't have to get up and walk a lot so I could stay in a sleepy stupor and go right back to bed and DH could sleep through it all. 

It's what worked for us and DS and I'm hoping we can do the same thing when DD arrives. 

As for bed sharing, there were times I'd nap next to DS when he was newborn and when he was a little older I slept beside him in a bed on vacation- just with pillows all around him and no blankets.  

Rfox831

I thought I would never co sleep before the time came is how I meant that. But, flame away. I personally thought it would be dangerous and too scary for me, it started one night and then it just kept reoccurring. I wasn't literally laughing out loud about ftms thoughts or beliefs. I was thinking to myself how much as a ftm you (me too, because I was a ftm at one point and this is only #2 and I def don't think I know all there is to know about parenting...) think you will or won't do things but end up doing them after you are put in different positions.


edit...I never said 'I'm laughing at you' or 'just you wait'. Apparently my post was taken the wrong way... Or I worded it wrong. Either way, I still laugh (at myself.. That is allowed, ...right?) because of things I thought I would never do before I became a mom. And I am sure I will continue to laugh about things as my life goes on and I continue to learn and be tested. Like... Laughing that I even posted on such a controversial thread knowing how people on here are...

Bottom line is do what works for you. And do it safely, even IF you said never. That's all ladies.

Bluebird2318

I bed shared with DD on very rare occasions, but only for naps. Sometimes that was just the nap that worked for us. I didn't feel comfortable doing it overnight though, both for safety reasons and comfort reasons (I feel naked without blankets). For the most part DD slept in a bassinet next to our bed for the first 6 months. That is close enough for me as far as BFing is concerned; I don't feel like having the baby in bed would have saved me much trouble in that regard. During the day DD would sometimes nap in her swing seat (supervised, with the seat unhooked and sitting on the floor) so that I could easily transport her to other areas of the apartment mid-nap. 

Alana1977

My husband and I will not bed share with this little one. We do have a bassinet in bedroom though for first few months.
However, many years ago when I had my daughter I did bed share exclusively with her from birth to age 4. It was a wonderful bonding experience and I am happy I did at that time

mammasuzelov

I don't think any of us know what we will do until we get into the thick of it.  I try to be as open minded as possible because I know that things never turn out the way you want them to in the end. 

Ideally I want the baby to sleep in her crib in her room which is literally 5 steps from our room, but I know that I might get lazy one night. To that end though I do have a guest bed in her room, left over from when the room was the guest room. So I could just crash out in there if I can't take the 5 steps back to my own room. 

snowclouds

I said I would never, ever do this with K, but I did do this and I do agree that knowing how to do it safely if you need to do it is very important.  Make sure you put him on your side so not in between DH and you as men don't tend to have the don't roll on baby instinct.  Never do it when you are on drugs or have been drinking.  We didn't do it all night or very often, but sometimes it was the only way K was gonna sleep and I needed to sleep.

Sarahjess06

I put try not to. However I will do whatever works. Bed sharing is safe when done correctly. We did it from day 1 with DS and the only reason I want to try not to is Bc i don't sleep as well, constantly checking every movement.

If this one only sleeps in our bed then that's what we will do. No way on earth will i CIO.

scarles

nikkimorello said:

We don't plan on bed sharing at night but we purchased the 'Baby Delight Snuggle Nest Surround' (see pic) and I envision using it during the day for naps...so I can nap with baby! Has anyone used this before? What were your experiences? It's supposed to be breathable and alleviate the chances of sheets/pillows getting too close to baby.

I'm thinking of getting this for naps when my husband is out at work and I'm alone. My only worry is that my bed is too soft and that my small dog sleeps in the bed too. Not sure if if will work for us but I have thought about it. Does anyone know if this thing has a hard or soft bottom?

Rfox831

dani+california said:

Rfox831 said:

I thought I would never co sleep before the time came is how I meant that. But, flame away. I personally thought it would be dangerous and too scary for me, it started one night and then it just kept reoccurring. I wasn't literally laughing out loud about ftms thoughts or beliefs. I was thinking to myself how much as a ftm you (me too, because I was a ftm at one point and this is only #2 and I def don't think I know all there is to know about parenting...) think you will or won't do things but end up doing them after you are put in different positions.


edit...I never said 'I'm laughing at you' or 'just you wait'. Apparently my post was taken the wrong way... Or I worded it wrong. Either way, I still laugh (at myself.. That is allowed, ...right?) because of things I thought I would never do before I became a mom. And I am sure I will continue to laugh about things as my life goes on and I continue to learn and be tested. Like... Laughing that I even posted on such a controversial thread knowing how people on here are...

Bottom line is do what works for you. And do it safely, even IF you said never. That's all ladies.

Except when some of us say 'I'll never do that' it's because circumstances will literally not permit us to do it. Not because we're choosing not to.

You're entitled to your opinion just like everyone else; but finishing off your comment with 'knowing how people are on here' just tells me that you can't give your opinion without having to feel right. So thanks for the explanation...?

Knowing how people are on here refers to the fact that I got attacked for MY opinion. Not everyone on here is like that but in the past 9 months we have all seen it happen over and over again. This is a touchy subject and I prob should of kept my opinion out of it because CLEARLY some people are going to think I'm being mean when that was never my intentions. I never said that ANYONE WILL change their mind or 'just u wait'. I CLEARLY said that is what I did. I think you need to reread my posts before you keep twisting my words.

thomas930

Rfox831 said:

You ladies who say never ever ever make me smile. Or laugh. Can't decide. The ONLY way to get my DD to sleep was while nursing her. So yes, we co-slept! Started around 6 weeks and last til about 7months. Getting her to sleep alone was tough a few nights but ever since she loves her own space in her bed. (3.5 now). Granted, it was only her and I in a queen sized bed. This time around.... I guess time will tell. Daddy says no, for now....

The bold part is what everyone is finding very condescending. Maybe you didn't mean it the way it sounds or maybe you are just back peddling...but what you typed right there pretty much said you are laughing at those who have said they will never bed-share.

 

While you didn't techenically type out "just you wait" in those words, you may as well have. 

nikki912

jellysparkles said:

Sarahjess06 said:

No way on earth will i CIO.

Not sure what sleep location has to do with CIO, but ok...

...circumcision, SAH/work, home/public/private school, BF/FF, timing of solids, screen time, etc etc etc.

Yeah- way to throw down a big one @Sarahjess06‌
No way on earth? That's a big statement - and that has nothing to do with whether you plan to CIO or not.