For those that did CIO...

rsideemd

DD is about to be 18 months old. We did CIO when she was 7 or so months I believe. It has always worked well at bedtime, but naps are another story. It's a 50/50 chance that she will take naps without crying/fussing. She'll either talk to herself or cry/fuss for up to 15 minutes, then she will go to sleep on her own. I kind of thought she'd stop the crying/fussing by now, but it still continues. I'm just wondering if that's normal or not. Oh... when she does cry, it's a "come get me" kind of cry. I don't leave her in her crib if she's truly upset.

I don't know if this has anything to do with it or not, but my MIL watches her while we are at work. I've told her to just lay her down for her naps, but she refuses. She will not let her cry/fuss. My husband's grandma said she's told her she won't let her cry/fuss. She insists on rocking her to sleep for her naps and that takes a LOT longer to do. I'm wondering if that's contributing to our problem, because we do things two different ways.

mypeanut22

Have you tried putting her down a little later? Maybe that will help.

LimaD

Our DD doesn't usually cry/fuss anymore unless there's something bothering her in which case we help (teething, sick, traveling..) 

Consistency is key, so yes I'd say your MIL and husband's grandma rocking her to sleep and not letting her fuss are probably the reason your DD is still having troubles. I think it's really hard for grandmas to listen to their grandchildren cry! That might be a tough one to get resolved...

meglette417

DS cries still sometimes when we put him down for bed and he has been CIO since 5 months.  You would think he is used to it as well.  I just assume it is his personality, he doesn't want to sleep but it lasts for 5 minutes and he is done.  I still do hate hearing him cry but I don't think there is anything we can do differently.

URMySunshine77

LimaD said:

Our DD doesn't usually cry/fuss anymore unless there's something bothering her in which case we help (teething, sick, traveling..) 

Consistency is key, so yes I'd say your MIL and husband's grandma rocking her to sleep and not letting her fuss are probably the reason your DD is still having troubles. I think it's really hard for grandmas to listen to their grandchildren cry! That might be a tough one to get resolved...

I agree that the grandma is raising expectations in the LO that rocking is the norm. I think that grandma will have to join your routine. She should respect your wishes as parents even though I'm sure that it is hard for her.

ObLaDi

DS definitely tends to cry/fuss at the beginning of naps much more often than at bedtime.

I'd talk to grandma about the fact that, although it is hard for her to hear DD cry, she is actually causing more overall trauma for DD by confusing her and not sticking to your routine.

hilsy85

I personally don't see the crying at the beginning of naps as an issue, as long as she's not truly upset and she does then fall asleep and nap for a good amount of time. Maybe she just needs to release some tension from being stimulated by crying. Maybe that's how she winds down,. Either way, I wouldn't worry about it. I do agree that the change between MIL and you is probably not helpful, but it also is probably not a HUGE deal, as kids can differentiate between different people at that age and I'm sure she knows that MIL and you just do things differently. 

arilevine

We have done CIO twice now- once when DD was around 10-11 month old & then just recently (she is almost 18 months). About a month or so she started crying at naps & nights when for months she was going down really easy. I gave in for a few nights & rocked her to sleep but then decided it was time to break any bad habits so I did let her CIO- it took about 20 min of on & off crying until she fell asleep. Night 2 she cried about 5 min & now weeks later she does a fussy cry after we finish reading a story. DH & I both hug her & kiss her & tell her it's night night time. She cries but then stops as soon as we leave the room and goes to sleep. We also did away with the paci a couple of months ago which I think could have something to do with it.

g8trkim

LimaD said:

Our DD doesn't usually cry/fuss anymore unless there's something bothering her in which case we help (teething, sick, traveling..) 

Consistency is key, so yes I'd say your MIL and husband's grandma rocking her to sleep and not letting her fuss are probably the reason your DD is still having troubles. I think it's really hard for grandmas to listen to their grandchildren cry! That might be a tough one to get resolved...

I was thinking the exact same thing. Honestly, if they're watching her you're kind of at their mercy.

Zelda925

I've had a hard time with the CIO method, but last night I had no choice. She was up from 12-3 and I gave her Tylenol for her teething and breastfed her a million times. Now today I feel like a zombie and she eventually went to sleep. It's hard.

youenjoymyself

Zelda925 said:

I've had a hard time with the CIO method, but last night I had no choice. She was up from 12-3 and I gave her Tylenol for her teething and breastfed her a million times. Now today I feel like a zombie and she eventually went to sleep. It's hard.

This is me today, too. 

littlemurphy2912

I know all babies/toddlers are different and yet they are pretty resilient to things as well. My DH and I didn't ever let our DD CIO for the first year of her life. We would go in and tend to whatever she was crying about just because we think they are so vulnerable the first year and can't express very well but are starting to learn how to express what they want besides through crying so we would go in and tend to her needs. A couple weeks before she turned 12 months old she came up to my DH and I and had her blanket in one hand and said the words "nite-nite". So we took that as her telling us she was ready for bed and this was around 8 pm or a little after so I took her upstairs and did our usual routine and laid her down. After that happened, there were many nights and still are here and there at 19 months of age where she has tried to test us and has screamed and cried and called for us and not wanted to go to bed and we have let her cry herself to sleep or tended to her if we knew she was crying because of pain or whatever the case may be but anytime she has given us a fight we explain to her very simply that it's night time and she needs to lay her head down and close her eyes and go to sleep. As of last night she was being extra fussy and having tantrums left and right with us with anything we were doing with her and so we decided she was going to bed a little bit earlier than usual and she was fighting me on it and I gave her two options and she went with one but wasn't allowing herself to relax and unwind for bed and so I finally put her in her crib and walked out of her room and she fussed for 10 seconds and then was out.

aibrean

A paci works wonders in this case. Usually after giving her one if she's super fussy and we know she's tired, she'll be out in 5 minutes (or less). We only use pacies for sleeping.