XP: unwanted comments from people

mmhopeful

I have been hit with a few unwanted and unsuspecting comments from people at work and church.  Really? I thought NONE of these people would ever say such things.  Has anyone else had this happen?  I just smile and keep about my day, but they hurt.

"You're going to be a house at this rate!"  (I'm only 11 weeks and 5 days....gained only 4 lbs)

"Wow!  How ever will you find clothes to fit you come your later months!"  Yup.....this one hurt ALOT!

"Good luck!  Better you than me!"  (From someone at church, mind you.)

"How far along are you?  You sure look huge for being THIS early."  

Really, it made me pretty self-conscious this week and I came home and told my husband.....then had a good cry.  Not a way to end my week on Friday.  

I am really scared now because I have Parent/Teacher conferences this upcoming week and will meet with 16 families.  Hoping I don't get blindsided by any comments. 

After our journey through IF, it just hurts that people say such things.

tippytoes06

Oh mm I'm so sorry these people said such hurtful things. The majority of the population just doesn't think before they speak.

rox825

People can be obnoxious. From what I hear though, it's (sadly) normal for others to give unsolicited opinions about everything to pregnant women so I'm dreading it myself once we're public. I'm sure that you look lovely! I gained 4 or 5 lbs last pregnancy by the 12th week and I was only growing 1 baby- oops. Try not to let ignorant people get you down!

LSN8308

its inevitable and the only way to avoid it is by becoming a hermit until u give birth. random people that i don't see on a regular basis i really dont get bothered by their comments no matter how mean they can be because in the back of my head i'm like "i wont have to see u again for a very very long time"

its the people close around me that feel the need to constantly give advice, and mostly the same advice no less. over. and over. and over again.

good luck with your conferences *hugs*

mmhopeful

Thanks everyone.....it helps to know others understand.  We've all been through so much to get here, so it just hurts when I only ever wanted people to just be happy for my husband and I.  

You all are a great support!

anations

Yeah, some people just have no tact and don't know how stupid and ignorant their comments are. I can get a "you are so little for having twins" to "man you get bigger every time is see you" in the same day. So I just roll with it. We are pregnant! And proud of it. They act like they know, but they don't!

katekat8721

You'll have to get used to it unfortunately. You'll hear comments about your bump your entire pregnancy. Then probably comments about how you look post partum. Then comments on how to take care of a newborn, then comments on your kids and omg it'll never end lol.

I hear comments on my bump every day. The best thing to do is not take it personally and to just go with it. People generally aren't saying things to be mean, they just may not know what to say but want to say something, so stupid stuff comes out! It doesn't mean they're not happy for you.

First tri is also just really hard because you feel weird, your body's doing weird things and is super bloated and you're still trying to adjust. Get some cute comfy maternity clothes because they'll highlight the bump and make you feel better. Just know in second tri you WILL glow and then people will be commenting how great you look

Hopeful1029

I'm so sorry I am getting the same comments it does suck....I just tell myself I'm growing a beautiful baby and everyone can kiss my pregnant ass!! I actually had a patient touch my belly (which is jUST starting to show) and tell me I "need to slow down because it's too early to be so big"!! I was plus size to begin with, and it just makes me feel terrible! No one has a right to comment on our weight. Hugs!

MJC1116

I find that when you confront the comments with a zinger, people tend to back off. It just depends on how comfortable you are with that person...

Examples:

"You're going to be a house at this rate!"  

Response: "A house? Unlikely. More like a studio apartment. I AM growing two humans, duh" (insert eye roll)

"Wow!  How ever will you find clothes to fit you come your later months!"  

Response: "Well, how do you find clothes for YOU? I'm sure I'll manage just fine."

Or, super sarcastically: "I won't. I'll just walk around naked."

"Good luck!  Better you than me!"  

Response: "You're right! I've got this! God chose me/us for a reason, right?"

"How far along are you?  You sure look huge for being THIS early."

Response: "I didn't realize you had your medical degree! Where did you study? Thanks for the heads up. I'll be sure to talk to my doctor about this!"

Or: "I'm far enough along to have my pregnancy hormones unleash on you for saying something so insensitive!"

The problem I have is that I don't think of these "come-backs" until somebody already says something mean. But I tend to find that when I respond with, "Wait, are you calling me fat? You do realize I'm growing a human, right?" people STFU.

I'm sorry people were so insensitive to you. Don't let it get to you. The stupidest things come out of their mouths and will continue throughout your pregnancy and when your babies come.

tryingyetagain

I'm sorry people are so stupid sometimes, and that it's getting to you.  I agree with KateKat, though... people feel they should say something and the stupid ones try to be "funny," which usually does not work out for the best!!  They would probably feel terrible if they knew how hurtful it is.

I know it's hard when your body is changing so much and you feel sensitive due to hormones, but try to relish how beautiful you probably actually look.  I LOVE my big fat bump, and I loved it when it was just a small 12-week bump too.  If someone had told me then (or now) that I looked like a house, I hope I would be quick enough on my feet to laugh and say, "well, I am a house for this baby, so I guess I look exactly like I should!"  I wanted everyone to see it.  I worked hard for this baby! 

My 7-year old DS came home upset the other day because our 5th grade punk neighbor told him his mom looked fat.  I just laughed and told DS it shouldn't bother him because it doesn't bother me at all, because I am big with a baby and am proud to look like this.  I told him he should feel free to tell neighbor boy, "my mom is pregnant, do you not understand the difference?  I can explain it if you need me to" or something to that effect.  I probably shouldn't teach sarcasm to my child, but sometimes it comes in handy when people say such stupid things!

krdesi

I haven't had that experience, but some people are just rude! Don't pay them any mind, you're well within normal range with only gaining 4lbs so far! I'd be worried if you had already gained 25lbs by 11 weeks!

Enjoy your pregnancy and enjoy your bump and just take rude comments in stride because those people obviously have no manners.