Welcome to PAL Checkin! This CheckIn is for everyone who is parenting after a loss. If you have an older child or a rainbow baby or both you are welcome to share here.
I hope everyone is having a good week. If anyone has any suggestions for questions, please don't be shy!
Where are you in your PAL journey?
What are some PAL challenges you have faced recently?
QOTW: Do you think your parenting style would be different if you hadn't had a loss? Why or why not?
Open Topic. What is on your mind this week?
Re: PAL Check In
My rainbow is 19 days old and we also have an older DS who is 5.
What are some PAL challenges you have faced recently?
While we have an older child neither DH or I have ever had a newborn. DH got custody of DS1 when he was 2.5 and my adoption of him was finalized 2 years later. So while we have parented we have never parented a newborn, let alone a newborn and a second child. It is extremely overwhelming right now.
QOTW: Do you think your parenting style would be different if you hadn't had a loss? Why or why not?
No, we were already parenting before our loss so we already knew what our parenting style was.
Open Topic. What is on your mind this week?
Alice's 1st angelversary is on Thursday and I am having conflicting feelings about Eli. He obviously wouldn't be here if she hadn't died, but I am so thankful for him and he has helped with the healing so much.
Where are you in your PAL journey? Already 1 month down. He grows so much every day.
What are some PAL challenges you have faced recently? Just thinking about his sister a lot during night feedings especially.
QOTW: Do you think your parenting style would be different if you hadn't had a loss? Why or why not? I didnt think so. But it is a bit. I was much more willing to share my babies before losing Elsie. Now I just want family time all the time. Just our little family.
Open Topic. What is on your mind this week? Thankful most of the revolving door of visitors has subsided. Still have a few more before we can settle down...and by then i have to go back to work. :-(
My little munchkin who wasn't so little at birth (9lbs 1oz). He only has a strip of hair down the center of his head. It cracks me up!
What are some PAL challenges you have faced recently? I see so much of Devon in Mia that it almost makes my heart hurt. When she's sleeping, she looks JUST like all of the pictures I have of Devon, and it makes me want to cry. I've been struggling mentally the last couple of weeks, but I think a lot of that was anxiety due to going back to work. Now that I'm back at work and feel better about Mia being in daycare, I'm doing better.
QOTW: Do you think your parenting style would be different if you hadn't had a loss? Why or why not? I'm more cautious and apprehensive than I was with DS. I'm afraid that I'm going to be overly protective of Mia, and I have to stop myself from doing that. I had to back off of being overly protective of DS after we lost his little brother, and that took some work.
Open Topic. What is on your mind this week? I'm really not happy about being back at work, but it's necessary for now. H is days away from deploying, and it's causing a rift in our marriage. I'm a little overwhelmed with all this change and just hope I can hang on until I adjust.
Again, thanks for checking in and letting me vent. I don't know where this is going to go, but my birthday's tomorrow [my golden one!], so I'm trying to shove it aside so I can enjoy my day.
BFP #1 March 24, 2010; missed m/c May 26, 2010 @ 12w 4d; D&E May 28, 2010
BFP #2 Oct 20, 2010; My little boy was born on July 5, 2011
BFP #3 April 30, 2013; Chemical Pg May 5, 2013
BFP #4 Aug 22, 2013; It's a boy. Loss discovered at 24 weeks on Jan 15, 2014 (cause CMV virus)
We love and miss you Timothy
BFP #5 April 6, 2014; missed m/c May 15, 2014 @ 9 weeks; Misoprostol May 15, 2014; D&C May June 3, 2014