Special Needs

Meeting the new baby

My new little boy will be here in less than 6 wks. Like every 2nd time mom, I want to make sure I do everything I can to prepare my toddler. I have been reading online about how to prepare a toddler for new baby's arrival. A lot of the articles are all about making sure your toddler talks to you about their feelings. Umm, well, my 30month old son has an expressive speech delay. He's not able to tell me why he's upset or happy yet. His receptive language, however,  is excellent. I've been telling him for months now that his baby brother is coming. I say the baby's name all the time. I tell him he's going to be the best big brother. I bought him a "big brother" book which he likes to read. I ask him where the baby is and he points to my belly. I just have no idea how much he knows or if he has any idea what's about to happen. He is the center of our universe. I'm worried about regression. Any suggestions on other ways to prepare him and how to handle the transition when we get home?

BabyFruit Ticker

Re: Meeting the new baby

  • I was in your shoes exactly a year ago!  My DD just turned one this week and DS was not quite 3 at the time. 

    He has a receptive speech delay, so I didn't know how much he was understanding either.  He too, was the center of my world and as crazy as it seems now, I was actually worried that I would not love this baby as much as him.

    I began saying that things I was buying or putting in the house were for "BabyC' --thats what we call her around here.  Sometimes I would even ask.  Do you know what these blankets are for?  And if he did not respond, I would say "BabyC!" in a cheery voice.  I also made sure to point out something that was his that was similar.  Like this is your blanket and this one is pink for BabyC.

    He has always loved her and surprising enough after a year, we do not have much jealousy from him.  He lays on the floor and lets her lick his face and climb on him and he laughs and strokes her back.  there have been a few times she had a toy and he knocked her over to get it back, but overall he gets along with her really well and i think its been one of the best things for him.  We were having him evaluated for speech and his other things right when i found out i was pregnant.  I was super worried that with his needs-- a sibling would add more stress.

    I think its also important to remember that its not JUST before the baby gets here that is important to prep for.  Your son will still want your attention.  I had a unique situation that I was able to take 5 months off from work and still get paid.  I am a teacher and I have worked in my district for ten years and had 435 hours of paid sick time saved up.  This really helped because I was able to be fulltime mom and not be worried about money.  Anyway, i spent many breastfeeding sessions with a baby on my breast and my other hand helping DS put together a puzzle.  Probably not what everyone wants to do, but it worked for me.  I tried to have him feel like the three of us were playing together.  The baby was not off limits to touch or kiss and I just watched for any signs of him being too rough.

    I continue to try to do activities in the house with both of them.  Like I said, she just turned one.  We bought them a fairly large play kitchen and they both get right in there.  In fact my DD has been playing with the fruits and veggies for a couple months.  She licks them and smiles and he tells her what they are or tells her to eat them.  Its very sweet.  I am not going to say this is easy but I think the transition was very smooth for us and I can't imagine not having two kids now.  My family feels complete.  Now, having time to shower everyday or go to the bathroom by yourself-- I have no suggestions on how to do that LOL

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