From TTC to here in a matter of a few days....

ellieannathomas

Well ladies, I guess I belong here now. I just found out my son's (11 months) father has been getting high when he claimed to be working late or working out. We had been TTGP shortly after our son's birth. I guess now I know a contributing factor to lowering our odds of conception. It is possible I conceived last cycle, currently CD 22 today so awaiting to test next week. My son and I packed our things and went to my parents. I have no idea what I am going to tell my son when the time comes....but I can say my son has a mom who loves him more than most kid's mom and dad combined, so we will get through this.

jesuisfatiguee

Sorry to hear of your misfortune. Is YH an addict? Is there any chance you'd be willing to work it out if he got clean? 

MinnesotaMomma91

Sorry your going through this. Welcome to the board

ellieannathomas

They say you can't get "addicted" to weed. When he is not coming home until 10-11 every night getting off of work at 5, spending his days off sleeping or going out, hiding his wallet and keys when he gets home because he doesn't want me in his car there is nothing much to work out. He knows everything vulnerable about my past and spewed it all in my face today. Called me a terrible mother. I don't want my son to ever feel how he has made me feel.

tig594

Welcome to the board.  I'm very sorry you're going through this but honestly believe you're doing the right thing.  Addiction sucks.  Good for you for being strong!  

jellybean529

I'm so sorry You're doing the right thing. You and your son deserve a great life, one without your son being influenced by an addict. Hang in there! 

jesuisfatiguee

Ugh, that's rough. Sorry you're going through this. Sounds like he's got a lot of issues other than just smoking. I hope you're able to find peace and resolution soon.

tig594

I used to date a guy who was bipolar and manic-depressive.  He self medicated a lot with pot and vodka.  I couldn't stand it when he was stoned.  He looked so fucking stupid.

ellieannathomas

Thank you all for your kind words and support. It feels good to have my son in a safe and stable environment. Just isn't what I wanted for him to be uprooted and moved out of his comfort zone and routine. Thank God for small favors that he is young enough to not remember or be too effected by this transition. I feel like he has some anger and depression issues that he refuses to address. I offered as much help as I could and there was nothing more I could give that wouldn't compromise my son. Yeah, nothing worse than the idiot face he would get when he was high. And how he couldn't hold a conversation. But thought he was completely fine and normal. Or my favorite line "I wouldn't have HAD to lie if you had just let me do it". Yup, all my fault lol

MinnesotaMomma91

Good for you, for not letting his destructive behavior drag you down with him. Its rough going it alone, but itwill be better for you both in the long run

jesuisfatiguee

tig594 said:

I used to date a guy who was bipolar and manic-depressive.  He self medicated a lot with pot and vodka.  I couldn't stand it when he was stoned.  He looked so fucking stupid.

Pretty sure these are the same thing? 

NGL, pot helped me wean off my anti-depressants when I was younger. I'm was good at using it as medication when I needed it vs. using it recreationally when I chose. I know some people lack the will power, but I think that's more of an overall self-control issue than it is a "drug" problem at least as far as marijuana is involved. Harder drugs are a different story, of course. 

ETA - the only drugs I use occasionally now are alcohol and caffeine in small amounts. For the record :P 

MinnesotaMomma91

I kbow pot can actually be a great medication for some people with bipolar disorder

freeatlast2014

Ellie, I'm so sorry to hear this. I felt like I was reading a page out of my own book when I read your post. On Friday last week I took my 2 kids (18m and 3y) and came to my dad's. My husband, I believe, has also been lying about his pot smoking ways. He hid it from me for over 2 years, I had no idea. Told me 6 months ago he stopped, but I saw similar patters happening all over again but this time I wasn't as naive. He is also verbally, mentally, and financially abusive and it's just not a safe environment for me and the kids. He's a good dad when he's on his game and not getting stressed or angry...in fact he took the kids this weekend for the first time and I feel so alone but they missed him and his family. I'm hoping he can keep his act together for the next 2 days.

This is tough, it's not what we expected or wanted but we have to be strong for our kids. They depend on us to make good choices.

inthelost

I'm sorry to hear what you're going through and you have to do what is best and right for you and your son. Welcome to the board

tig594

je+suis=fatiguee said:

tig594 said:

I used to date a guy who was bipolar and manic-depressive.  He self medicated a lot with pot and vodka.  I couldn't stand it when he was stoned.  He looked so fucking stupid.

Pretty sure these are the same thing? 

NGL, pot helped me wean off my anti-depressants when I was younger. I'm was good at using it as medication when I needed it vs. using it recreationally when I chose. I know some people lack the will power, but I think that's more of an overall self-control issue than it is a "drug" problem at least as far as marijuana is involved. Harder drugs are a different story, of course. 

ETA - the only drugs I use occasionally now are alcohol and caffeine in small amounts. For the record :P 

I didn't say I knew much about it.  It doesn't change the fact, though, that he still looked incredibly stupid when he was stoned.  

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