Using a known sperm donor registry

ticktock0903

There are sites where people can meet and the male decides to be a sperm donor for lesbian couples. How does this work? Are these people being tested in the way that sperm banks test? I realize this is a cheaper and sometimes more personal route to go, but how are these donors being screened?

ticktock0903

See to get the testing especially the HIV testing and genetic testing done, I feel like it would add up to the prices of using a frozen donor who has already gone through that testing. Also, you would have to have their sperm count tested and etc.

ball.and.chain

I would be extremely wary of something like this.  From a health perspective, it's not safe to use sperm that you don't know has been tested for HIV, STDs, etc.  From a quality perspective, you have no idea if the sperm is even good quality.  Sperm from a cryobank has been tested for all of these things.

I also think it's a bit dicey from a legal perspective.  With a sperm bank, the donors have signed away their legal right to the child.  Known donors have not, and can assert that right in court after the child is born if they so choose.  I have read stories about known donors who were friends of the mothers suing for custody after the child's birth.  If you can't trust a friend with that type of decision, how can you trust a stranger you met on the internet?  You can draw up a contract, but it is not necessarily legally binding.

ticktock0903

 

ball.and.chain said:

I would be extremely wary of something like this.  From a health perspective, it's not safe to use sperm that you don't know has been tested for HIV, STDs, etc.  From a quality perspective, you have no idea if the sperm is even good quality.  Sperm from a cryobank has been tested for all of these things.

I also think it's a bit dicey from a legal perspective.  With a sperm bank, the donors have signed away their legal right to the child.  Known donors have not, and can assert that right in court after the child is born if they so choose.  I have read stories about known donors who were friends of the mothers suing for custody after the child's birth.  If you can't trust a friend with that type of decision, how can you trust a stranger you met on the internet?  You can draw up a contract, but it is not necessarily legally binding.

See! That's what I'm saying. Sperm banks can give you more guarantees. Most of them offer free vials if what you order ends up having low sperm counts or something like that. I just don't see the benefits of the other.

2momsinCA

Another concern for me is that you have no idea how many children that donor has fathered. Sperm banks have pregnancy limits (or they are supposed to).

That being said I know of plenty of women who have male friends who have been their donor and agreed to go through STD testing (regularly) and semen analysis along with signing away their parental rights legally. That part requires a lawyer though and all of it adds up to not cheap. But in the long run it could be less expensive (multiple attempts over the course of several months) and fresh swimmers are certainly better swimmers than frozen. I have no idea if you would be able to get that kind of commitment with someone from a website though.

Sperm banks also do genetic testing for cyclic fibrosis along with other ethnicity-related genetic conditions (sickle cell, Tay-Sachs, etc). That is actually extremely valuable info and would get super pricy.