politely declining to answer nosey questions?

farmrose

I'm sure you've all had experience being asked awkward/inappropriat questions regarding dilation, your birth, other bodily functions. My question is how do you guys handle this when it comes from a friend or family member and you're not interested in sharing those details? My family is a bunch of over sharers in regard to private health matters and I am not. I have no interest in discussing my mucus plug, dilation, leaking nipples, or the status of my vajayjay post baby, etc. And my family loves to ask direct pointed questions. So it kinda catches me of guard and I don't know how to respond without giving away more information than I care to. Then the info may as well be public knowledge bc well, my family is a bunch of over sharers. Any ideas on how to handle this in a somewhat mature way? Other than just saying none of your f-ing business.

Edit:typo

Sanibel21

I usually say "Right how it should be" with a smile on my face, so I don't seem rude. And when they ask specifics, I repeat the same exact thing. If you don't sway from the one statement in a friendly tone, they should get it. 

farmrose

I'll never understand why people lose all sense of decency when talking with a pregnant woman. If I weren't pregnant we certainly wouldn't be discussing my cervix.

hemeyer31

I say just be honest and tell them that it's a little more personal than you're willing go. Unless you are completely honest with them, it will be difficult to set that boundary. And don't be surprised if they push it, it's hard for people to accept when someone is drawing that line in the sand with them. I hope it all works out and you're able to gracefully handle whatever they throw at you without compromising your need for "privacy".

kstar83

this has currently been my bugaboo, if you will.

So far I just say that makes me uncomfortable to talk about, and laugh it off and joke about how there is no dignity in pregnancy.But it really gets to me when people act hurt that I don't want to talk about my mucus plug. Sorry that hurts your feelings, but its MY body. I am not required to share this information with anyone, and people are so full of misinformation its stupid. I can't handle the stupid.

aLsMay24

These posts always shock me and make me very thankful. No one other than my mother would ever ask me these questions and she would never repeat a word I said to her ever.

kaking78

If it's friends and family, I have no problem telling them it's none of their damn business.  Coworkers or other less forgiving acquaintances get the side eye and that usually shuts them up.  Having a snarky reputation has its advantages.

dancer7889

I was lucky since I had 3 weeks early that I didn't get too many nosey questions.

When people I didn't know or didn't know well tried to touch my belly, I'd touch theirs back. It make them feel awkward and stupid. I was going to do the same thing is regards to super personal questions. Ex/ "are you dilated?" Response- how's your cervix doing lately?

cmb2

Ugh just had this issue with my mom an hour ago. We are very close and get along great and it was the first time she asked how dilated I am. Buuut me feeling bitchy today I snapped "what makes people think its appropriate to ask that question" and I think I hurt her feelings - more with my tone than anything. But I know that my mom WOULD share that info with others, just thinking its nbd. Now I feel like I need to apologize for snapping, not necessarily my response.

farmrose

aLsMay24 said:

These posts always shock me and make me very thankful. No one other than my mother would ever ask me these questions and she would never repeat a word I said to her ever.

It's not so much that I mind discussing these things with my mom, it's the fact that if I did she doesn't see anything wrong with sharing every detail with her mom, sister, friends at church, etc. Which is why I don't even want to tell her. For example, my mom asked if I was making any progress about two weeks ago. I told her they hadn't checked. She then was shocked and clarified "they haven't done any pelvics", I didn't have the energy to try and correct her that it's not a "pelvic" when they check your cervix. But she loves to say the most awkward term for things. So, when my aunts and grandmother call her for updates she shares with them that I haven't had any pelvics. And justifies it that since I'm not sharing that she has to-even though there's nothing to share. Oi. I wish people would just stop asking, it makes me so uncomfortable to think about people talking about these things behind my back. I know we all know where baby's come from but can't we leave some details out.

jwls84

I just answer super vague or say I don't know. If they keep pushing for an answer I just repeat or change the subject.

sopranoali

Depends on your family dynamic. Like when my dad is nosy I just comment something like "I don't know what was it like after you gave birth?" And if it's my mom or sister I just turn the question around and ask how their nipples are lol.

CruiseGirl28

My MIL texted DH the other day, and he texted back a picture of dinner and wrote, "Eating dinner, can't talk." Of course, later on, he was discussing my cervix with my brother.

I've just been saying that not much is happening, which is the truth.

jennybean80

Plead the fifth?

benevolentforce

Anneplusone said:

I just tell them things are moving in the right direction but I don't want to get into details. People don't need to know how I'm excited about my bowel movements and cramps.

This exactly.

myfriendscallmemeg

benevolentforce said:

Anneplusone said:

I just tell them things are moving in the right direction but I don't want to get into details. People don't need to know how I'm excited about my bowel movements and cramps.

This exactly.

Seriously this! I feel so stupid whenever I get so excited over a BM!

kimberpoo

I just say 'no news yet... we will get there!' when family asks. they've been surprisingly good about not asking too much, thank goodness.

jennbaylor12

When people have asked "how're things looking/going?" after a Dr appt or what have you, I just reply with "nothing too exciting to report!" - no one has pushed it past that

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