PAIF + PGAL = insomnia

Jen071407 · March 2014

I spent 3am-4:30am wiiiide awake again. I woke up at 3am and took my last test (I'm a POASaholic and was watching the line get darker $:\$ "> ) so I'm hoping the no testing will mean I'll stop waking up. Otherwise, if I wake up I'm doomed to racing thoughts and worry from, "What if we don't see a heartbeat again?" "What if we see TWO heartbeats?" "Why am I not nauseous yet?" "What color should the nursery be?" It's like there's a crazy person inside my mind! No real point to this post, I'm just guessing many of you can completely relate!

liz4paws · March 2014

I can totally relate! I think the place you're at right now is actually the hardest. I know many women might disagree, but I struggled the most AFTER the bfp yet before the ultrasound. Hugs!

Jeffreysmom24 · March 2014

I can totally relate! I have such a hard time with my anxiety and sometimes wish I could take a xanex to take the edge off! I actually liked what you have posted recently about throwing all of your positive thoughts into this pregnancy - I need to do that and stop worrying so much (easier said than done!) when is your ultrasound? Good luck and hang in there until then!

Jen071407 · March 2014

Thanks ladies, I knew I wasn't alone in this! My u/s won't be for another 2.5-3 weeks :ar! I'm just going to keep forcing positive thoughts to try to keep the nasty, unwelcome ones at bay! Now if I could just sleeeep!

FishyMom · March 2014

Oh my goodness I am SOOOO in the same boat. I am 5 weeks today and I woke up last night in just a panic. What if's flying everywhere... followed by the why's...

Why do I not have any symptoms?

What if there is no heartbeat?

What if the meds are stopping the MC to happen again?

Why am I not feeling different?

And so on and so on... I am a hot mess today. I think the positivity is a big factor in the best outcome possible. DH and I have felt from the beginning that this was our take home baby, but last night hit me pretty hard. I am having a mantra kind of day "today I am pregnant and today I love my baby". I am so sorry that you are dealing with this and I hope you can keep your spirits up and feel the releif of positivity. I will send some T&Ps your way for peace of mind and patience!

PS... I too am a POASaholic! I wanted to test this morning so bad, but I woke up late (probably a little over tireed from my midnight freakout) and was rushing around and I forgot.. but you better beleive I will be testing in the AM or when I get home from work.

overwhelmed29 · March 2014

I can totally relate. I spend at least the first week after my BFP peeing on sticks an being wide awake at night!! All of the same thoughts ran through my head, especially after not seeing a HB with my last pregnancy. But this time, to our surprise, there were two heartbeats!

lincoln79 · March 2014

i am totally with you. even mh is totally with you. he had a horrible night last night because our viability u/s with our gestational carrier is today.

hang in there and know you aren't alone!

Jen071407 · March 2014

@Ashris13 I'm totally with you on the mantra! Today we ARE pregnant! I am determined to enjoy every second of this pregnancy!

@lincoln79 Good luck at the u/s! FX for a great update from you later! [-O< :!!

Edit: I'm sure it is pretty obvious, but along with my poas addiction, I also have a smiley guy problem :-bd

PhillyJ33 · March 2014

I can relate! I thought the wait between betas and then to the first u/s was torture!! I tried to keep busy but I was going crazy. And then my OB appts were only once a month and I tortured myself in between! I swear, each step brings a new worry but I do think the first tri was the worst if it for me!
FWIW, I didn't have any symptoms for a few weeks and kept saying I didn't "feel" pregnant. I was never pregnant before so I had nothing to go on anyways in hindsight!
Hang in there!

Aurora1181 · March 2014

It's so tough!! I'm 11 weeks and still have similar thoughts. I'll wake up sweating and think i might be bleeding, or I'll lay in bed with a million thoughts and worries floating around in my head, totally unable to sleep. The only thing keeping me somewhat grounded is my nonstop nausea, unfortunately.

Ironmom2be · March 2014

You are so not alone...I have 5 more days until my 1st u/s and I can't sleep at night. It sucks. I couldn't sleep during stims b/c the drugs, I couldn't sleep before ER b/c I was worried about how many eggs, I couldn't sleep after ER b/c of how many eggs will fertilize/divide/survive until day 5/ how many will be normal? Then after ET I couldn't sleep b/c I was anxious to POAS, then I couldn't sleep before betas, now I can't sleep b/c I worry about our u/s next week. Needless to say, I'm a hot (tired) mess!