How to tell my resentful husband about my pregnancy?

threebeautifulroses

what would be the best way to inform my husband about my third pregnancy? To be honest, our relationship is strained a lot after my second pregnancy. My husband said that he doesn't need more children. I have been using protection for a year and half now.  Then, for medical condition that protection method has to be shifted from me to my husband. He hasn't been vigilant about it and this pregnancy happened. I am 6 weeks pregnant now and I have no intention to opt abortion. I will never kill an innocent soul for any reason. My husband and I have been going through many relational problems, and I do not want this pregnancy to add salt to injury. any suggestions on how to break the news for him?

hfooter

threebeautifulroses said:

what would be the best way to inform my husband about my third pregnancy? To be honest, our relationship is strained a lot after my second pregnancy. My husband said that he doesn't need more children. I have been using protection for a year and half now.  Then, for medical condition that protection method has to be shifted from me to my husband.He hasn't been vigilant about it and this pregnancy happened. I am 6 weeks pregnant now and I have no intention to opt abortion. I will never kill an innocent soul for any reason. My husband and I have been going through many relational problems, and I do not want this pregnancy to add salt to injury. any suggestions on how to break the news for him?

What does the bolded mean exactly. I haven't heard of any type of BC for men on the market, but I could be out of the loop...however, if you're talking about condoms, those are not just a mans responsibility.

Anyway, I suggest you just tell him. If he didn't want more kids and you are already having issues there will probably be no easy way to tell him.

bf43005

Be open and honest about it, and don't wait too long to tell him. 

awc1986

You need to talk to him about this asap. If he's adamant he didn't want another, then he should have been more vigilant with his BC method (this is a 2 way street btw). You may find he's more receptive to the idea of a 3rd baby than you imagine. 

I hope it goes well for you. My mother was an "surprise" 3rd pregnancy and she never truly got on with her dad. She was always told she was an accident and it stuck with her through life. Whatever happens, remember that it's not the baby's fault.

beccalee721

Like PPs said, he knows unprotected sex leads to pregnancy so you gotta just sit down and tell him. The baby isn't going anywhere so the sooner the better. It may take him a bit to adjust but it's a baby!

jaztastic

If you relationship is already strained, Im not sure how keeping secrets (of any sort but especially this one) will help. You have got to just tell him, and soon.

Both of you should have been responsible for proper precautions and prevention... but out of curiosity please explain how it shifted to his role. 

PrimRoseMama

cruelsound said:

I feel like this same exact situation was posted here in the last couple of weeks.

Me too...

PrimRoseMama

@cruelsound‌ :

MommyGosse said:

I haven't told my fiancé the news that im pregnant, he's always said he doesn't want kids just the ones we already have (not his by blood but he's raised them) I am 6 weeks pregnant and every time I mention a baby he mentions the "ALTERNATIVE" the thing is it was rare for us to even conceive due to his insulin shots he's had since he was 5. I Really want to keep this baby is it normal to want to keep it from him until I'm ready to tell him? or am I being inconsiderate?(please no rude comments I am not a b**** it's just I've really wanted another baby lately and conceiving was accidental and a huge surprise.

@MommyGosse‌ ‌: is this you're attempt at an AE post? :-?

BigFatCat

Tell him the birth control "he" used didn't work. For the future, both parties should be responsible for BC.

KatieG25

@PrimRoseMama and @cruelsound, you two are definitely on to something. I just went back and read the thread you were talking about, and it appears that this could very well be the same person. My one confusion is that she was 6 weeks pregnant a few weeks ago, and is this week as well, but everything points to this being the same person in both posts. 

Both 6 weeks pregnant. 

Both already have 2 children. 

Both have partners who don't want more children. 

Both don't know how to tell him.

Both asking for help as to how to simply sit down with him and say "Hey. I know you aren't too keen on the idea of more kids. But I'm pregnant."

PLUS this account was made right after the other woman allegedly deleted hers. 
Very suspicious. I can't really see how this could be anything but an AE post. Let's just hope this post doesn't spiral into madness like the other one did.

PrimRoseMama

@KatieG25‌ : the smell of BSC is in the air. ~O)

VioletFlower

I think it is incredibly selfish, on many levels, to put yourself in a situation to bring a baby into this world when both partners are not on board. By not making sure he wore a condom every single time, then this was your choice. Sigh.
Tell him now, he has every right to know you are pregnant.

philippfamily1023

First off, I wish you well with your pregnancy and your life.  I am sorry that your relationship isnt in the very best place it could be at this special time, however, remember, all relationships have seasons (ups and downs).  If I may, I'd like to suggest you consider couples counseling.  If the initial talk about going or talking to someone isnt a positive one, see if he will do it for the sake of your kids and home life, then explain that as life continually changes (like with an upcoming new addition) you could both use a place to be heard and understood without judgement.  Tell him you want to understand him better and support him/his feelings.  If that is true and healing takes place, you in turn will be supported by him because he will feel equipped to be there for you physically, emotionally, etc.  One word of advice, Steer clear of blame (he's not vigilant/Your not able to use protection) because that puts folks on the defense.  No one is to blame here, life happens.  Now its about making it better, making it right, making it work... I really wish you all the best and hope that you guys get counseling to sort it out.  

Weezy56

threebeautifulroses said:

I am 6 weeks pregnant now and I have no intention to opt abortion. I will never kill an innocent soul for any reason.

Your wording of this statement rubs me the wrong way. This is extremely insensitive to women who have been faced with this choice and may have chosen something different than you are.