Surrogacy

sschwege

Leftie22 said:

sschwege said:

roses&65335678 said:

Leftie22 said:

I'm three weeks post-partum, and the only thing keeping me going is snuggling my adorable baby. I can't imagine going through this recovery with no baby. Mind you, I'm having a pretty unlucky recovery, because I also have shingles. But you just never know.

Okay, serious question, wouldn't the recovery be easier without a baby? You could sleep through the night and feel rested, you wouldn't have to get up and do stuff for the baby... Babies are great but they are not conducive to relaxing. In some places, your husband would still qualify for leave so even though his work wouldn't pay him, you can have it written in your surrogacy contract that the parents reimburse for lost wages, so you'd have help for a week or so PP.

I mean, I'm not trying to talk you into it. I just think it sounds easier than recovering with a newborn.

Yes, I have to agree, recovery would be a lot easier IMO without a newborn.  Being able to sleep through the night, not BFing around the clock, the constant worry, etc.  

At the hospital I had both my babies at they had a 'rooming in' policy.  After DD was born we were in the hospital for 36 hours, I slept for 3 hours total and that wasn't even consecutive sleep.  It was awful!  With DS he ended up being in the Special Care Nursery for most of the 48 hours we were in the hospital.  So I could visit when I wasn't sleeping and they called me during the night to nurse him.  But the diaper changes and general care other than feeding was left up to the nurses.  I can tell you I felt a lot better leaving the hospital and recovered quicker I think because of all the extra sleep I got.  I would never wish to have my child in the Special Care Nursery, but I looked at it like the best I could do for him was to nurse/pump and sleep/recover and I was able to to do that because someone else was caring for him.

I see your points, for sure! I guess I'm thinking more emotionally than physically. Right now I know I have pain and scarring, but the reason for going through it is right in front of me, so it makes it emotionally easier to handle. If my bits were torn open and I had no baby, I think I would feel really depressed and it would be harder to remember why I thought it was worth it. That might not be very altruistic of me, but I feel like I need the baby to give purpose to my pain. If that makes sense.

That makes sense.  

sophie206

One of the moms in DD's preschool class last year was a surrogate for a couple from Australia. She delivered at the end of the year and we moved schools, so I wasn't able to hear much about how she felt afterward. But she seemed to have a healthy attitude about it during the pregnancy and felt good she was helping the couple realize their dream of a family.
I think I would do it for one of my sisters in a heart beat, though it would be much easier if it were her or a donor's egg. Not sure if I could handle the emotions involved for friends or strangers...It's a tough one!