Talk to me about protocols for the AL boards

BootsOrHearts

1. PGAL - I assume it's ok to comment there without a siggy warning (for those on mobile I have squishy baby pics in my siggy) is that true or should I still post a warning?
2. TTCAL - there is a check-in on this board now for those of us with living child(ren) who are TTCing so we use that now instead of going to TTCAL correct?

If I want to offer support on TTCAL I know to put a siggy warning, but I'm afraid that may not be enough so I've been lurking there but not posting anything for the most part. It makes me sad to think about not being able to support the lovely ladies over there but it also makes me sad to think about taking away my squishy baby pics because they make me happy. But really, maybe I just need to suck it up and take them out, because let's be honest I have them on my computer background, phone background and have prints blown up on my walls, my house is a shrine to Baby Boots already.

Thoughts?

ProfessorPedals825

You're too sweet to worry about protocols.  While on PgAL, I loved when the PAL ladies would chime in with advice and comments.  I loved seeing their squishy babies, and I don't think a siggy warning was needed.

On TTCAL, I assume that the checkin was moved here for that reason.  Not everybody over there is comfortable enough with baby siggies.  And since us with babies are in the minority on that board, I would say it's mainly for those fresh off a loss.  I hated that I couldn't support all of my old friends there, but I would occasionally post with a siggy warning just to let them know that I think about them and that they could find me over here on PAL.

I wouldn't remove your siggy pics, even if they're plastered everywhere like mine.  I'd just be extra cautious about posting over on TTCAL.  I was always afraid that I'd be lurking and accidentally post without warning.

rmpar29

You are correct that having baby pics in your siggy and posting on TTCAL is frowned upon and can be very hurtful to the ladies over there.  Even mentioning children can catch someone on a bad day.  Siggy warnings, while helpful, is really not enough to cover baby pics.  Generally, it's best not to have any pics of babies/toddlers if you are going to post on TTCAL to prevent hurtful feelings. 

lauralew

I'm glad you posted this...I've been away from the bump for a while, and I remember protocol changing about every six months.  When I was last on TTCAL, a lot of women were okay with PAL or PgAL women commenting on their posts with a signature warning.  Others were not.  So those okay with it put "PAL/PgAL welcome" (or something similar).  If it were someone I was close to, I would comment.  If it was someone with a serious question and I had personal experience with it, I would maybe answer.  If it was someone I was familiar with, but my comment really wouldn't hold much value above her knowing I read her post, then I wouldn't post...if that makes sense.  But, right now, I think there's been enough change on all the AL boards that I actually know only a few women.  So I definitely wouldn't comment on a TTCAL thread because it would be insanely hurtful for a stranger to comment.  I think written out histories is far less hurtful that pictures...but I agree with PP, don't take pics down if you want them there...unless you find yourself posting daily on TTCAL.

BootsOrHearts

@mamato3boys‌ yes that's exactly what I was thinking! And I love your love tit idea. I love tit it! And thank you! Of course he's already older and chubbier but I love those pics from when he was tiny and squishy.

@lauralew‌ yes that makes sense also! People did still use the PAL/PGAL welcome designations but I still worry about someone else opening that post on a bad day. I've been there and those bad days are tough.

stefuge

rmpar29 said:

You are correct that having baby pics in your siggy and posting on TTCAL is frowned upon and can be very hurtful to the ladies over there.  Even mentioning children can catch someone on a bad day.  Siggy warnings, while helpful, is really not enough to cover baby pics.  Generally, it's best not to have any pics of babies/toddlers if you are going to post on TTCAL to prevent hurtful feelings. 

This exactly about TTCAL.  I have a ticker for my son in my siggy, which is fine and I don't post a warning for that, but photos are definitely frowned upon, and mentioning living children without a warning is definitely frowned upon.  

Junebug060609

You are totes (that's for @lauralew‌ ) fine posting with no warning on PgAL. TTCAL and of course Loss are a different story. I know you remember all too well your TTCAL days.

There is a TTC check in here. Not sure who posts it or when, but it is here.

ksyknelvr73

I don't think it matters on PGAL.

For TTCAL, I was on there prior to this pregnancy and I originally had a picture of my son and a ticker for him in my siggy, I removed the picture and kept the ticker. It was clear to me that the pictures might hurt feelings so I just wanted to avoid that.