Seriously, how do people afford more than one?

bloverde

We're moving (again) to Baltimore for work, and I'm looking at housing and daycare. We both have jobs, and both have student loans. We have only one car and its monthly payment. If we DON'T want to live in a one bedroom hovel, rent is $1500 minimum plus utilities. Daycare is at least $1200. Our only "entertainment" is buying decent food and eating at a mid priced restaurant once per week. We have no cable, only Netflix. Our vacations are driving to the beach house my parents own to stay rent free and cook all our own meals.

I really don't understand how people afford more than one child. The only place we could trim our budget is to eat ramen and shitty processed food. We have a budget and stick to it. In college I lived on $5k per year - rent, car, food, etc. So I know how to live frugally. I honestly have no clue how people can have more than one child or live on a single income. It boggles my mind. End rant.

Helenahhandbasket

When you figure it out- let me know

 

hopefulmom81

I am 100% with you on this question.

DH and I both have middle class type jobs (I work for a university and he is an architect) and could not even fathom how to pay for two.  Our mortgage and daycare costs are exactly what you said in the OP, so for daycare and mortgage, that is a more than one of our paychecks just to cover that.

bloverde

I totally used cloth, breast fed and made baby food. Nearly everything this kid own is second hand, and the rest are gifts. I honestly think the only new clothes the kid got from me was his first birthday outfit. I told DH he's going to be sleeping on a mattress on our bedroom floor until he's in middle school.

MrsCodeMonkey

@Bloverde Good luck with the move! Baltimore can be expensive.

We're struggling too. I'm trying to cut back on groceries. We've been living like we have two incomes, but we don't. It's so tough to reprogram old habits.

MrsCodeMonkey

SandAndsSea said:

DH and I both have professional careers and are 10+ years into them in a VHCOL area.  We paid off all debt other than the mortgage before having kids and buy our cars with cash and keep them at least 5+ years.  We were DINKS for 9 years after college, which helped pay off the 6 figure student loans and accumulate a decent amount of savings before having kids.  I really think having 2 good incomes and waiting so long to have kids were our keys.

Now, though, we're looking to move into a top school district and buy more house and are wondering how we'll ever do it.  I think it will work on paper, but I want to live for a year as if we were paying the increased expense before we make the jump!  I guess that's another key, is that we've always been planners and conservative and are sure about financial decisions before jumping in!

I'm impressed with your self-control. We need to learn too. Want to give us a workshop?

By the way, what does "DINKS" mean?

JackoftheBox

My plan of attack...

Next year my car will be paid off. I also plan to stock up on items while pregnant (diapers, formula, ect). I made most of my own baby food last time and we already have all of DS things (stroller, carseat, packnplay, swing, bouncer, bath, ect). If we have a boy i won't need clothes for a long time (handmedowns) and if it's a girl i still wont need clothes for a while. Most of DS's sleepers were neutral. We will basically need a crib and a dresser.

Lol really i have no clue what we will do. PS our house payment is cheaper than your rent. YIKES.

bloverde

@JCSC2008‌: I didn't think you were attacking! I was just saying that we did that to save money. Only spending $400 on diapers from birth to potty training FTW!

Tink112011

DH asks this of me all the time.  I tell him that other people have different priorities.  For our neighbors, having children is a top priority.  They're working on #4 and are willing to accept the financial sacrifice that comes with it.

For us, our priority if financial security. If we were financially stressed, both of us and our marriage would be stressed.  We value comfort and flexibility. We value being able to buy new clothes whenever we want/need.  We value date nights and family outings.  We value vacations and saving for retirement.

If we truly WANTED and yearned for a second child, we could make it work financially.  Our lifestyles would be drastically different, but we could pay our bills.  The truth is that we don't want a second child badly enough to live paycheck to paycheck.

MrsCodeMonkey

@SandAndsSea‌ That makes sense. I think what we'll have to focus on is the big picture or a big savings goal. I want to start a vacation fund after things settle after the move.

I feel like we live in a culture that doesn't teach patience and waiting. We want instant gratification. It's so tough to pass up on little purchases, but they do add up. We can call it the latte effect. Once I did the math on how much I was wasting I stopped buying them. Now they're once in a blue moon treat.

TittsMcGee

I am not worried about affording things while DS is still little. I mean I buy him clothes I want, he doesn't know it was on clearance and that its from Wal-Mart.

I am worried when he gets older and sees kids in school with new clothes and new shoes and wants the same things they want.

My SIL has 3 girls and the oldest is 13e and she already wants brand name clothes (Gap, A&F, Aeropostale).

Don't even get me started on after school activities, cars and college.

Chapter79

YellowWallpaper12 said:

This is one of the big reasons we are OAD. We could afford two kids, but I'd rather be able to provide more for my son.

Plus, vacations.

This. We could manage another- but I have no desire to.  I like to provide MORE for the one I have.  And we LOVE to travel. Our vacations each year cost a good chunk, so that's where we put our money.

And kids get SO much more expensive in grade school... ohmygod. It's money here, money there.. not a lot? But when you add it up, it's a lot.   Tomorrow is movie night at school.. Frozen!  Popcorn for small fee, probably a buck or two.  But put those 2 bucks in an imaginary pile for school and at the end of the year, those bucks are more like $70 if you add them up.  "mom! the older kids are selling pencils at school!" "mom they are selling roses at school!" "Mom, they have cookies for sale!" ... then take a dress we had to buy for V-day dance.  Then the yearbook money ($20 due in the next two weeks).. then take field trips, and school parties, and teacher gifts (frick, she had 4 teachers I had to buy for this year), then take school clothes, sneakers for gym, gifts for classmates birthday parties.  Scholastic book fairs.. "Mom, I want these 2 books!".. carnivals, dances.. $$ for pizza, snacks, pictures, raffles.

I swear by the end of the year you have put down $500 on just that junk that pops up every other week. If not more.   She was so much cheaper when she was little.   Plus she eats more now.   Imagine doing that for 2?  No thanks.  I like my vacations

EMarieMe

M&MHaveMyHeart said:

All this, too. There's a few people I know that are all about wanting babies but I guess are totally content with small living quarters, mooching off relatives, & never going anywhere.

My parents retired to a southern town and there's people like this and also a lot of people who are just in hock up to their eyeballs living in McMansions and restoring old cars. In reality they are living paycheck to paycheck and never have extra. Even in the bay area I have co-workers who are junior level employees driving a benz.  The truth is they lease and can barely afford the payment. I don't get it. I'd rather have a well maintained Kia that I bought in cash and will drive for ten years than a Mercedes. Don't get me wrong, nice cars are nice, it's just that I believe in living under our means.

With one kid, we can do that and still go on vacation and eat out. Although, we're working on eating out less because it's expensive.

Dave Ramsey is too extreme for us, but Suze Orman is not bad.  I recently read her book geared towards women and it finally jump started us to set up our living trust. 

FYI, if you sign up for your company legal plan during open enrollment the services provided will often cover setting up your trust.  We're paying $6 a month for one year and it's mostly done. Just need the final notarization.  Much cheaper than paying out of pocket.  We will cancel the service next year.

Chapter79

MissPeansMama said:

Chapter79 said:

YellowWallpaper12 said:

This is one of the big reasons we are OAD. We could afford two kids, but I'd rather be able to provide more for my son.

Plus, vacations.

This. We could manage another- but I have no desire to.  I like to provide MORE for the one I have.  And we LOVE to travel. Our vacations each year cost a good chunk, so that's where we put our money.

And kids get SO much more expensive in grade school... ohmygod. It's money here, money there.. not a lot? But when you add it up, it's a lot.   Tomorrow is movie night at school.. Frozen!  Popcorn for small fee, probably a buck or two.  But put those 2 bucks in an imaginary pile for school and at the end of the year, those bucks are more like $70 if you add them up.  "mom! the older kids are selling pencils at school!" "mom they are selling roses at school!" "Mom, they have cookies for sale!" ... then take a dress we had to buy for V-day dance.  Then the yearbook money ($20 due in the next two weeks).. then take field trips, and school parties, and teacher gifts (frick, she had 4 teachers I had to buy for this year), then take school clothes, sneakers for gym, gifts for classmates birthday parties.  Scholastic book fairs.. "Mom, I want these 2 books!".. carnivals, dances.. $$ for pizza, snacks, pictures, raffles.

I swear by the end of the year you have put down $500 on just that junk that pops up every other week. If not more.   She was so much cheaper when she was little.   Plus she eats more now.   Imagine doing that for 2?  No thanks.  I like my vacations

Aw sh*t @Chapter79 - I hadn't even thought of all those little things that will crop up when DD gets older and goes to school.  That's crazy to think about $500 extra a year just for the random things that come up in school. Maybe we should start saving for that stuff now....LOL!

You should lol
I had NO idea how things would add up in grade school.  "But mom! I NEED these two books from the book fair at school!" .. well there goes $8.  Just a week later after, we get the yearbook notice for $20.   A month before that there was an art fundraiser.  They designed a picture on paper and it's transformed to an item you want (pillow case, phone case, cup, etc)..  there went $15 for a cup. I'm not kidding when I say it's about every 2 weeks that something pops up.  And even when it's $1, it adds up to my damn pile :P

kristennd

You really can afford two around here without a six figure household, and without mooching etc, but that's pretty rare nationwide these days. And even our cost of living is going up with housing getting tight.

TittsMcGee

M&MHaveMyHeart said:

Tink112011 said:

DH asks this of me all the time.  I tell him that other people have different priorities.  For our neighbors, having children is a top priority.  They're working on #4 and are willing to accept the financial sacrifice that comes with it.

For us, our priority if financial security. If we were financially stressed, both of us and our marriage would be stressed.  We value comfort and flexibility. We value being able to buy new clothes whenever we want/need.  We value date nights and family outings.  We value vacations and saving for retirement.

If we truly WANTED and yearned for a second child, we could make it work financially.  Our lifestyles would be drastically different, but we could pay our bills.  The truth is that we don't want a second child badly enough to live paycheck to paycheck.

All this, too. There's a few people I know that are all about wanting babies but I guess are totally content with small living quarters, mooching off relatives, & never going anywhere.

It's all about priorities. I love travelling & want to do as much as that as possible. Wanting only one child will allow us to do many things. I love our home, I love our life, I just want to see more of the world & that is possible with the life we have planned.

Funny anecdote.. this one girl I just deleted off my FB has 4 kids. Almost every time I have posted about going away or someone else does, she'll post something saying about how much she loves to have "staycations" & being home with her family is ALLL that she could ask for. Yea, right if you have to justify it on fb. LOL 

I agree with all of this and I have to quote both of you.

Our top priority isn't having kids. Its being content and happy with the one we have and making him our top priority.

I know I would be stressed with another kid and none of us would be happy.

DiveFrog

Honestly, the only way we could make a second work financially is that my parents are retired and have always provided daycare for DD. They would continue to do so for a second child. We have enough to cover preschool for DD, but would never have enough for that and an infant/toddler in full time daycare as well. Aside from my maternity leave and a few items we were not gifted DD and cloth diapers and BF supplies DD has been rather inexpensive these first two years, but as others have mentioned it only costs more as they get older. Preschool will be at least 6-10k/yr. in our area.

law&order

Tink112011 said:

DH asks this of me all the time.  I tell him that other people have different priorities.  For our neighbors, having children is a top priority.  They're working on #4 and are willing to accept the financial sacrifice that comes with it.

For us, our priority if financial security. If we were financially stressed, both of us and our marriage would be stressed.  We value comfort and flexibility. We value being able to buy new clothes whenever we want/need.  We value date nights and family outings.  We value vacations and saving for retirement.

If we truly WANTED and yearned for a second child, we could make it work financially.  Our lifestyles would be drastically different, but we could pay our bills.  The truth is that we don't want a second child badly enough to live paycheck to paycheck.

This is spot on.  I have graduate school loans and we have a mortgage. That's the extent of our debt. We carry zero credit card debt month to month and cars are paid. We absolutely could not afford a second and still send DS to preschool. We'd have to rely on family and DH working his schedule to have weekdays off and I'd manage kids on the weekend.  It would be redonk. We already each have so much single parenting time, having a second would mean so much more. And then there's the natural stress on our relationship that comes with that. 

Some people that have a second, or that have #3 or #4, are willing to carry credit card debt to pay for preschool, or they don't save any money month to month, or they move to a LCOL area. We have friends moving from our HCOL area to the midwest so they can have a bigger house and more kids. 

I took a major pay cut to take my job, which I currently love, but is an 80% appointment. If we had a second anytime soon (like before DS was in kindergarten), I'd either need a raise or need to go back to practice where I was terribly stressed and unhappy. Now I get paid less but get a lot more time with DS. I also sort of "made my bed" when I decided to go to law school.  Shit was/is expensive.  

legalbeagle1

Okay, similar to the feminism thread, I am now wondering if OADers are more likely to be financially conservative?   I haven't enjoyed TB as much as I have on this board!  So many though-provoking threads!

I totally get the "make my only my priority" line of thinking.  My husband and I both work very long hours in NYC.  We could afford a second if we moved out of the city and sent the kids to public schools, but we'd have super long commutes and never see them.  We are living in Brooklyn instead and my commute is 15 minutes.  We'll have to pay a ton for our mortgage and private school (literally $35K a year once he is in elementary) but I think it is worth it to spend time with him, be able to leave work for his school activities, etc.

gwendarling

@legalbeagle1‌ , I'm definitely thinking about my money and how to make sure we're maximizing our retirement and savings, and have great credit scores and have paid off our cars, etc. his student loans are the only debt we have.

I live in LA, and i just do not want to live farther away in a suburb. it wouldn't be possible. I am totally making this one my priority!

scrappingcat

Chapter79 said:

YellowWallpaper12 said:

This is one of the big reasons we are OAD. We could afford two kids, but I'd rather be able to provide more for my son.

Plus, vacations.

This. We could manage another- but I have no desire to.  I like to provide MORE for the one I have.  And we LOVE to travel. Our vacations each year cost a good chunk, so that's where we put our money.

And kids get SO much more expensive in grade school... ohmygod. It's money here, money there.. not a lot? But when you add it up, it's a lot.   Tomorrow is movie night at school.. Frozen!  Popcorn for small fee, probably a buck or two.  But put those 2 bucks in an imaginary pile for school and at the end of the year, those bucks are more like $70 if you add them up.  "mom! the older kids are selling pencils at school!" "mom they are selling roses at school!" "Mom, they have cookies for sale!" ... then take a dress we had to buy for V-day dance.  Then the yearbook money ($20 due in the next two weeks).. then take field trips, and school parties, and teacher gifts (frick, she had 4 teachers I had to buy for this year), then take school clothes, sneakers for gym, gifts for classmates birthday parties.  Scholastic book fairs.. "Mom, I want these 2 books!".. carnivals, dances.. $$ for pizza, snacks, pictures, raffles.

I swear by the end of the year you have put down $500 on just that junk that pops up every other week. If not more.   She was so much cheaper when she was little.   Plus she eats more now.   Imagine doing that for 2?  No thanks.  I like my vacations

Here I thought we'd be rolling in the dough once DS was out of daycare  Thanks for bursting the bubble, LOL!!  

In all seriousness beyond the financial aspects I don't think our marriage could emotionally afford a second.  Having one is rough enough.

We have friends that have one and are trying for a second.  She is in this little bubble that kids are all rainbows and puppy dogs and even told me that it's not nearly as expensive as they imagined.  Um, that's because we loaned you ALL of the baby gear and your in-laws provide free daycare and bring diapers, food (for child and parents), wipes, ect every week when they come.  You have no idea girl!

Chapter79

I asked my mom just this thing, she believes there's more now... wasn't always that bad.  I never had a yearbook in elementary school, it started in middle school. (and was widely more popular in high school, even yet).  My DD's yearbooks started in grade K.  I also think PTO does more now, more activities.  More things that cost.

I mean, at my DD's first school dance (which we didn't have so early when I was in school, either, FYI) they charged $1 to take a pic of kid at dance near a heart backdrop and e-mailed it to you.  Like I said, it's not the single costs.  I mean, what's a buck? It's the buck here, buck there.. buck buck buck.  That adds up to be many many bucks.

Just yesterday I got a note in folder for field trip in April to the museum.. $9.   I also got a form for Spring pictures.  Since when did we have Spring pictures in school?  The cheapest package is $20.  Did we have Spring pics way back when?  We just had the normal fall ones, taken a month or so after school started.

bloverde

I also think that those school costs are only in more economically stable communities. No way would an inner city school even have a PTO, let alone multiple fundraisers per year, after school activities, etc. But they didn't exist to the extent they did when I went to school. 

Also, spring pictures? WTF?

kristennd

M&MHaveMyHeart said:

From what I remember there was always things to do/buy in school but my parents just didn't get or let me get them. Lol

That was our case too. And it really made me stand out in uncomfortable ways socially. I just know I'm going to overcompensate vicariously with LO.

ILoveBoys

    I don't usually post on this board usually but really like this thread so thought I would chime in, since we have THREE kids.  Two are school aged (almost 9 and 6.5) and we have a 3.5 year old. DH works and I stay home (but am starting back to school this summer). 

   We have a decent sized, 4bed, 2.5 bath house. A van and a car. The boys play sports. DD is in preschool. The oldest is in braces (which are already paid for).

    I agree about the school stuff, they CAN nickle and dime you to death. However, my kids get to do the book fair at the end of the year where its BOGO free. Any other time, they take money from their piggy bank. But most times they don't ask. I'm just honest with them and tell them "sometimes its better to not buy something you kind of want so you can buy something you really want later - IF you have the money". We are already teaching them about not spending money that you don't have - we don't use credit.

   We shop consignment stores/sales as much as we can find the things they need. We don't buy them toys/video games/etc unless its birthday or Christmas. We eat out Sundays after church and probably once every other week during the week. 

It's doable.

TiffanyBerry

Eh... I think it's so much individual circumstances.  We could afford two, and I think we have a few things going for us:
1) DINKs for nine years out of college, so we had time to repay our student loans entirely and bank some savings.  I don't think we could have done two without this - certainly not with me at home.
2) (relatively) inexpensive hobbies (mostly)
3) don't travel very much at all, and when we do, we do it on the cheap.  I think this is definitely a big part of it.  since DD's been born, we've spent around $800, total, on travel each year.  that's me and DD going to see the grandparents twice a year.  and that's it.
4) we keep things simple - no extra activities at the moment outside of preschool, shop at consignment sales, do free activities on weekends, etc.
5) re-financing when the time was right - seriously, a 15-yr, 3% mortgage is awesomesauce since it'll be paid off before DD goes to college.  this is a non-trivial thing, but so far out in the future, easy to overlook.

meo34

For me we could easily afford another with our salaries and relatively LCOL area but then I don't think I would have advanced as far in my career and make the salary I do if I was not OAD, kind of a catch 22.  I had the time to complete extra training and obtain advanced certification as well which further helped.

DS is not in Day Care so it is much less expensive (it is like having a mortgage paid off!!).

I think we would not be as indulgent with DS if we have more than one because that we could not afford it.  DS is not spoiled but that being said I don't hesitate to buy really good quality clothing or little treats on a daily basis (like stickers or collector cards, etc), he is in more activities than if I had more than one (time and money), every time there is a book order he is allowed to order several books whereas if I had two I would probably limit it to one, etc. 

Another thing is we LOVE LOVE LOVE to travel.  When we do we don't hesitate to ensure we experience as much as we can in terms of museums and shows, etc.  I think if we were not OAD we would not go on yearly trips (maybe every second or third year) and we would be more conscious of the cost of extra activities in terms of tickets etc.  Not the end of the world but would be a change for us.

Last thing I thought of is the amount we are saving for DS for college.  It is pretty substantial as I had to pay for mine on my own. Although I want him to work and contribute to the cost I don't want him to be in the financial strain I was (I am talking not enough money to afford to eat properly) and have that stress detract from his ability to do well in school.  If I had two obviously that savings would be less.

So in our case I think we could make it work and it would not be a huge sacrifice.

hopefulmom81

ILoveBoys said:

    I don't usually post on this board usually but really like this thread so thought I would chime in, since we have THREE kids.  Two are school aged (almost 9 and 6.5) and we have a 3.5 year old. DH works and I stay home (but am starting back to school this summer). 

   We have a decent sized, 4bed, 2.5 bath house. A van and a car. The boys play sports. DD is in preschool. The oldest is in braces (which are already paid for).

    I agree about the school stuff, they CAN nickle and dime you to death. However, my kids get to do the book fair at the end of the year where its BOGO free. Any other time, they take money from their piggy bank. But most times they don't ask. I'm just honest with them and tell them "sometimes its better to not buy something you kind of want so you can buy something you really want later - IF you have the money". We are already teaching them about not spending money that you don't have - we don't use credit.

   We shop consignment stores/sales as much as we can find the things they need. We don't buy them toys/video games/etc unless its birthday or Christmas. We eat out Sundays after church and probably once every other week during the week. 

It's doable.

JackoftheBox

meo34 said:

For me we could easily afford another with our salaries and relatively LCOL area but then I don't think I would have advanced as far in my career and make the salary I do if I was not OAD, kind of a catch 22.  I had the time to complete extra training and obtain advanced certification as well which further helped.

DS is not in Day Care so it is much less expensive (it is like having a mortgage paid off!!).

I think we would not be as indulgent with DS if we have more than one because that we could not afford it.  DS is not spoiled but that being said I don't hesitate to buy really good quality clothing or little treats on a daily basis (like stickers or collector cards, etc), he is in more activities than if I had more than one (time and money), every time there is a book order he is allowed to order several books whereas if I had two I would probably limit it to one, etc. 

Another thing is we LOVE LOVE LOVE to travel.  When we do we don't hesitate to ensure we experience as much as we can in terms of museums and shows, etc.  I think if we were not OAD we would not go on yearly trips (maybe every second or third year) and we would be more conscious of the cost of extra activities in terms of tickets etc.  Not the end of the world but would be a change for us.

Last thing I thought of is the amount we are saving for DS for college.  It is pretty substantial as I had to pay for mine on my own. Although I want him to work and contribute to the cost I don't want him to be in the financial strain I was (I am talking not enough money to afford to eat properly) and have that stress detract from his ability to do well in school.  If I had two obviously that savings would be less.

So in our case I think we could make it work and it would not be a huge sacrifice.

JackoftheBox

M&MHaveMyHeart said:

@jackofthebox, I think you quote failed ^.

BHAHAHAHAHAHA!! 

JackoftheBox

ILoveBoys said:

    I don't usually post on this board usually but really like this thread so thought I would chime in, since we have THREE kids.  Two are school aged (almost 9 and 6.5) and we have a 3.5 year old. DH works and I stay home (but am starting back to school this summer). 

   We have a decent sized, 4bed, 2.5 bath house. A van and a car. The boys play sports. DD is in preschool. The oldest is in braces (which are already paid for).

    I agree about the school stuff, they CAN nickle and dime you to death. However, my kids get to do the book fair at the end of the year where its BOGO free. Any other time, they take money from their piggy bank. But most times they don't ask. I'm just honest with them and tell them "sometimes its better to not buy something you kind of want so you can buy something you really want later - IF you have the money". We are already teaching them about not spending money that you don't have - we don't use credit.

   We shop consignment stores/sales as much as we can find the things they need. We don't buy them toys/video games/etc unless its birthday or Christmas. We eat out Sundays after church and probably once every other week during the week. 

It's doable.

JackoftheBox

M&MHaveMyHeart said:

@jackofthebox, I think you quote failed ^.

Fixed it!! 

ILoveBoys

lildis09 said:

   

That's it, I'm having 2 more!!! :-@ :-O :^o

The question was how do people afford more than one. Most of the answers were from people who only have one child, so I thought I'd answer the question from a perspective of someone who does have more than one child. Wasn't saying it's doable for EVERYONE. 

MrsCodeMonkey

ILoveBoys said:

lildis09 said:

ILoveBoys said:

   

That's it, I'm having 2 more!!! :-@ :-O :^o

The question was how do people afford more than one. Most of the answers were from people who only have one child, so I thought I'd answer the question from a perspective of someone who does have more than one child. Wasn't saying it's doable for EVERYONE. 


@ILoveBoys I appreciated the response and I have much respect for moms who have 3 or more kids. I have a mom friend who has 5. She makes it seem so effortless, but I know it must be tough.

We went to the park with the mom and the 5 kids and I pointed to DH how it "looks like they raise themselves." He laughed nervously.

hopefulmom81

ILoveBoys said:

lildis09 said:

   

That's it, I'm having 2 more!!! :-@ :-O :^o

The question was how do people afford more than one. Most of the answers were from people who only have one child, so I thought I'd answer the question from a perspective of someone who does have more than one child. Wasn't saying it's doable for EVERYONE. 

hopefulmom81

lildis09 said:

ILoveBoys said:

lildis09 said:

   

That's it, I'm having 2 more!!! :-@ :-O :^o

The question was how do people afford more than one. Most of the answers were from people who only have one child, so I thought I'd answer the question from a perspective of someone who does have more than one child. Wasn't saying it's doable for EVERYONE. 

You also didn't really answer HOW, just that you do & what you are able to still have: big house, 2 vehicles, 1income etc. All of the answers (but yours) were from people with 1 child...this is the ONE & done board.

Well, and also what that 1 income is.  If it is more than 2 middle class jobs put together, that would make way more sense.

hopefulmom81

lildis09 said:

lildis09 said:

ILoveBoys said:

lildis09 said:

   

That's it, I'm having 2 more!!! :-@ :-O :^o

The question was how do people afford more than one. Most of the answers were from people who only have one child, so I thought I'd answer the question from a perspective of someone who does have more than one child. Wasn't saying it's doable for EVERYONE. 

You also didn't really answer HOW, just that you do & what you are able to still have: big house, 2 vehicles, 1income etc. All of the answers (but yours) were from people with 1 child...this is the ONE & done board.

Well, and also what that 1 income is.  If it is more than 2 middle class jobs put together, that would make way more sense.

Exactly. And if you live in a hcol or locol area... if you scrimp & save or are up to your eyeballs in cc debt?

Well, and I don't want to get too personal with my finances on here, but DH and I make REALLY close to 6 figures together, and 1 daycare + our mortgage = one of our FULL paychecks.

hopefulmom81

lildis09 said:

lildis09 said:

lildis09 said:

ILoveBoys said:

lildis09 said:

   

That's it, I'm having 2 more!!! :-@ :-O :^o

The question was how do people afford more than one. Most of the answers were from people who only have one child, so I thought I'd answer the question from a perspective of someone who does have more than one child. Wasn't saying it's doable for EVERYONE. 

You also didn't really answer HOW, just that you do & what you are able to still have: big house, 2 vehicles, 1income etc. All of the answers (but yours) were from people with 1 child...this is the ONE & done board.

Well, and also what that 1 income is.  If it is more than 2 middle class jobs put together, that would make way more sense.

Exactly. And if you live in a hcol or locol area... if you scrimp & save or are up to your eyeballs in cc debt?

Well, and I don't want to get too personal with my finances on here, but DH and I make REALLY close to 6 figures together, and 1 daycare + our mortgage = one of our FULL paychecks.

I didn't mean anyone needed to disclose salary, just that its hard to know "how" if you're just listing all of the things you have & not how you maintain.

Oh, no I wasn't answering specifically to YOU, I was pointing out that her statements were really vague.  I know you weren't looking for specifics. 

kristennd

I didn't think it was an out of line or troll response. It's not like I shun all my IRL friends who have more than one. And many of them are managing in realistic ways too. It's just a choice, not an ideology.

hopefulmom81

kristennd said:

I didn't think it was an out of line or troll response. It's not like I shun all my IRL friends who have more than one. And many of them are managing in realistic ways too. It's just a choice, not an ideology.

I don't think anyone is saying it is.  It is a bit odd, though, to post on a OAD board if you have 3 kids and answer a hypothetical question that was posed to other OADers.

ILoveBoys

Sorry, I tend to post all over.    Like I said, I really just thought the discussion as a whole was interesting, as we have friends with 1 kid up to 4 kids and have had talks like this before.

Also.....just for the sake of facts, DH makes about $1700 every 2 weeks take home. We only have 1 car loan and a student loan for debt besides the house. No CC debt, as we pay it off every month. (We use it for skymiles which helps pay for vacation!) I'm not sure if we are HCOL or LCOL, I guess maybe somewhere in the middle. We are in Lexington, Ky. Go cats.

And okay....I'll admit it....sometimes I lurk this board because when my kids are driving me crazy I think Why didn't we stop at ONE!?

 

Edited because words.