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Parenting after a Loss
anitaflora
member
AW: I'm PUPO! (semi-XP from thread in TTCAL)
anitaflora
member
Today I am officially PUPO for the first time ever!
When they called my name back I was still feeling unsure if they were going to pull me aside and tell me that none of them made it. And then she put the wristband on my arm and had me verify all the info on it. And I swear I could not keep the smile off my face. It just came upon me that it was really going to happen.
Then when I got in the waiting room waiting for the dr I just completely burst into tears. I don't know if it was a burst exactly but I could. Not. Keep myself from crying. Tears were just streaming down my face thinking about actually getting to this point.
I know that this is far from any guarantee that I'll actually end up with my take home baby. But this is the first time I've had any treatment and felt like everything just kind of came together to get me this far, when I never thought I'd ever be in this position. Then I started thinking about those I've lost... And it just all tumbled together and it was a good thing the dr didn't come in for a whole because I was quite a mess.
Dr came in and whereas I really thought if we had more than one I would definitely only want to transfer one, he convinced me that because of my age it would be very unlikely we'd end up with twins. I had originally thought for sure we would just do one and freeze any remaining but we ended up doing two. The third was not looking as good as the others. They said they would keep trying to culture it in the lab and see how it did and if it did progress they might be able to freeze it, but I shouldn't get my hopes up.
I stayed close to the office last night because in the MD / DC area we had another snow storm. And man am I glad I did because I definitely would not have wanted to drive in this mess this morning!
Oh and here's the coolest part!!! I got a picture of them just prior to transfer!!! The one that's completely enclosed is officially in the blastocyst stage (better) and the one that looks like it's still a little open I think is in the morula stage (stage right before blastocyst).
Thanks to those of you that have sent me so many good wishes!
When they called my name back I was still feeling unsure if they were going to pull me aside and tell me that none of them made it. And then she put the wristband on my arm and had me verify all the info on it. And I swear I could not keep the smile off my face. It just came upon me that it was really going to happen.
Then when I got in the waiting room waiting for the dr I just completely burst into tears. I don't know if it was a burst exactly but I could. Not. Keep myself from crying. Tears were just streaming down my face thinking about actually getting to this point.
I know that this is far from any guarantee that I'll actually end up with my take home baby. But this is the first time I've had any treatment and felt like everything just kind of came together to get me this far, when I never thought I'd ever be in this position. Then I started thinking about those I've lost... And it just all tumbled together and it was a good thing the dr didn't come in for a whole because I was quite a mess.
Dr came in and whereas I really thought if we had more than one I would definitely only want to transfer one, he convinced me that because of my age it would be very unlikely we'd end up with twins. I had originally thought for sure we would just do one and freeze any remaining but we ended up doing two. The third was not looking as good as the others. They said they would keep trying to culture it in the lab and see how it did and if it did progress they might be able to freeze it, but I shouldn't get my hopes up.
I stayed close to the office last night because in the MD / DC area we had another snow storm. And man am I glad I did because I definitely would not have wanted to drive in this mess this morning!
Oh and here's the coolest part!!! I got a picture of them just prior to transfer!!! The one that's completely enclosed is officially in the blastocyst stage (better) and the one that looks like it's still a little open I think is in the morula stage (stage right before blastocyst).
Thanks to those of you that have sent me so many good wishes!
dream 1 CAME TRUE 2.13.2010
<dream 2> 12.2011
2.10.12 : 4 weeks
6.17.12 : 10 weeks
10.10.12 : 4 weeks, 6 days
12.13.12 : 9 weeks, 1 day
4.6.13 : 4 weeks, 4 days
10.27.13 : 5 weeks, 6 days
4.2.14 (IVF #1) : 4 weeks, 1 day
6.19.14 : IVF #2 Negative
</dream 2>
AMA, Diminished Ovarian Reserve, heterozygous MTHFR
"all it was was a fairytale and devotion to a dream"
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***All always welcome!!***
This discussion has been closed.
Re: AW: I'm PUPO! (semi-XP from thread in TTCAL)
#1 BFP 1/10/11; missed m/c discovered 7w5d
IF Dx: Endo, hetero MTHFR mutation, poor morphology
#1 IUI: 1/18/12 = BFN
#1 IVF/ICSI 4/2/12 = 2 x 7-cell and 1 x 5-cell transferred (3dt) = BFP!!
H was born at 41w2d on 12/29/12 - be still my heart!
#2 IVF/ICSI 1/19/14 = 2 x 8 cells transferred (3dt) = BFP!! EDD 10/09/14
M&W born at 37 weeks on 9/18/14 - I am the momma of 3 boys!!!
Thanks again for the good wishes!
dream 1 CAME TRUE 2.13.2010
<dream 2> 12.2011
2.10.12 : 4 weeks
6.17.12 : 10 weeks
10.10.12 : 4 weeks, 6 days
12.13.12 : 9 weeks, 1 day
4.6.13 : 4 weeks, 4 days
10.27.13 : 5 weeks, 6 days
4.2.14 (IVF #1) : 4 weeks, 1 day
6.19.14 : IVF #2 Negative
</dream 2>
resolve.org
lyrics
***All always welcome!!***
BFP # 1 - 12/19/09 EDD 08/27/10 - D&C 1/26/10 @ 9w5d
BFP # 2 - 06/05/10 EDD 02/17/11, DS1 born on 2/14/11
BFP # 3 - 04/10/13 EDD 12/21/13 - D&C 05/15/13 @ 8w4d
BFP # 4 - 07/27/13 EDD 04/08/14 - CP 07/29/13
BFP # 5 - 09/14/13 EDD 05/28/14, DS2 born on 5/22/14
BFP #1 08/05/12. EDD 4/15/13 m/c 08/27/12
BFP #2 06/05/13. EDD 2/16/2014 (Team Blue). Baby Wombat born 2/20/2014 7lb. 11oz and 20 in.
BFP#2 2.5.11 (EDD 10.15.11) DS born 9.28.11
BFP#4 8.27.13 (EDD 5.6.14) DD born 4.23.14
My Recipe Blog
~All AL'ers welcome~
Clomid 50mg,100mg,150mg | Injectables + IUI#1 & IUI#2= BFN
IVF#1~ 8/2012~ 13 frosties~ BFP! OHSS
12/4/12 Luke & Kyle born @ 18 weeks
SHG+ Hysteroscopy+ FET= BFP | Cerclage+ Lovenox+ 5m Bed Rest
~Our wee guy is here! 11/27/13~
[spoiler] My Blog: Grow Baby Grow
BFP #1: 12/2009 m/c 1/2010 BFP #2: 6/2010 m/c 8/2010
BFP #3: 10/2011 ectopic 11/2011 (right tube removed, learned left tube was probably nonfunctional due to scar tissue from infection after m/c)
3 failed IUIs, IVF #1: 18R, 12M, 10F, 3 poor quality 5d embryos transferred= BFP #4!!!!!
Betas: 9dp5dt: 64 ~14dp5dt: 91 (expecting miscarriage, doubling time of 236 hours) ~16dp5dt: 200~18dp5dt: 500
First Ultrasound at 6w2d revealed two sacs, only one with a heartbeat
LK arrived after 42 weeks on August 14, 2013! Beautiful, healthy, and happy!
TTC#2: IVF booked for April 2015
Surprise BFP#5 February 19, 2015 EDD: November 2, 2015
Betas: 10dpo: 10, 14dpo: 77, 17dpo: 270
First Ultrasound at 5w1d showed a miracle UTE baby! And right ovary ovulation to left fallopian tube.
JD arrived at 38 weeks on October 20, 2015.
TTC #3: Since October 2017. BFP #6 July 2, 2018 EDD: March 16, 2019 [/spoiler]
TTC #3 since June 2013
BFP #1 7/21/2013--EDD 3/30/14--D&C 9/24/13
BFP #2 1/28/14--MC 2/7/14
IUI #1 5mg Femara + trigger = BFN
IUI #2 5mg Femara + trigger = BFN
IUI #3 5mg Femara + trigger = BFN
We had 5 fertilize I think and were told that one 'didn't look so good' and we should just let that one go. In all honesty, I really regret not freezing that one or putting it in with 2 others to at least give it a chance. Maybe that's dumb because it's only a few cells but I feel like I didn't do right by my little 6 celled baby, haha!
But whatever you choose to do is the right thing for you, no judgement here.
And I have my fingers and toes crossed for your 2 teeny weeny babies, grow grow grow!!!!
What is your test date?
BFP#1 1/31/12, EDD 10/6/12 Harrison Gray born sleeping @ 18w6d. You changed our lives little guy.
BFP#2 EDD 10/29/13, C/P 2/25/13, Bye little Ish, we barely got to know you.
BFP#3 EDD 12/21/13, Baby Boots born 11/23/13 My rainbow baby!
January PAL Siggy Challenge: Good Advice
BFP #2 11/3/10; BO at u/s 10w6d 12/16/10; Natural MC 1/7/11; D&C 4/21/11
BFP #3 10/27/11 Please stick, LO!! 2/6/12 It's a Girl! Alexis Grace born 6/29/12
BFP#4 4/27/14 Stick, stick, stick!! 8/11/14 It's a Boy! Evan Wesley born 1/8/15
"Patience is waiting. Not passively waiting. That is laziness. But to keep going when the going is hard and slow, that is patience." Let it Be (blog) ♥ My BFP Charts
This time I'm not leaving without you.
My test date they don't want me to make until 3/31!! 3/31?!?! That would be a full 2ww from transfer day!!
My husband gave me quite the stern talking to last night about waiting until then like they've said and not taking a HPT. Of course his thing is the cost. "Well do you have any left?!? If you don't and you're going to have the test anyway then you don't need to buy any." Arrgggh!!
And also, I should say he really just doesn't want me to drive myself crazy with the testing and evaluating lines and what not.
But I am not convinced of either of these things lol.
So I'm not sure. I figure the earliest I would sneak a test would be 7 days after transfer date. That would be the same as 12dpo wouldn't it? I'm just figuring out how this works so someone let me know.
Thank you all so, so much for your love and support and prayers and crossed appendages!!
dream 1 CAME TRUE 2.13.2010
<dream 2> 12.2011
2.10.12 : 4 weeks
6.17.12 : 10 weeks
10.10.12 : 4 weeks, 6 days
12.13.12 : 9 weeks, 1 day
4.6.13 : 4 weeks, 4 days
10.27.13 : 5 weeks, 6 days
4.2.14 (IVF #1) : 4 weeks, 1 day
6.19.14 : IVF #2 Negative
</dream 2>
resolve.org
lyrics
***All always welcome!!***
***BFP 1-22-13, baby boy dx with Trisomy 13 at 15 weeks.
We let him go to Heaven on 4-27-13 at 17 weeks 1 day***
BFP 12/13/12 EDD 8/22/13 Lilah Ruby born 8/8/13
BFP#1 1/31/12, EDD 10/6/12 Harrison Gray born sleeping @ 18w6d. You changed our lives little guy.
BFP#2 EDD 10/29/13, C/P 2/25/13, Bye little Ish, we barely got to know you.
BFP#3 EDD 12/21/13, Baby Boots born 11/23/13 My rainbow baby!
January PAL Siggy Challenge: Good Advice
TTC since August 2011
BFP#1 3/16/12 EDD 11/21/12 Delivered 6/1/12 at 15 weeks 2 days
"If there ever comes a day when we can't be together... Keep me in your heart, I'll stay there forever." ~ Winnie the Pooh
BFP#2 4/14/13 EDD 12/24/13 Please be our rainbow after the storm!
Beta#1 @ 15dpo 274, P4 16.9 Beta#2 @ 18dpo 940!! Doubling time of 40 hours!! u/s @ 6w2d showed a beautiful HB of 120! u/s @ 10w1d HB 174!! Grow, LO Grow!! Found out 7/22 we are TEAM BLUE!!
Zaiden Harper was born 12/22/13 at 1:46 am. 9lbs 8oz and 22in
~*~AL Always Welcome~*~
TTC #2 Since October 2011
RE testing results: DH- normal ME- DX:PCOS and One copy of MTHFR gene
IUI#1 Sept/Oct 2012-Follistim, Ovidrel, Metformin, Baby Asprin, Lovenox, Crinone, and Neevo Beta 10/24=BFN
No 2nd IUI but instead TI with Metformin, Baby Asprin, Neevo and Prometrium
BFP #4 5/4/13-EDD 1/19/14- grow little one, grow!
Beta #1@15DPO HCG-95, progesterone-25 Beta #4@24DPO HCG-2498, progesterone-30, 1st U/S 6mm,133BPM 2nd U/S 1.6cm, 167 BPM
Chart
~*~*~*~Everyone Welcome~*~*~*~
Me: 38 DH:36