Parenting after a Loss

AW: I'm PUPO! (semi-XP from thread in TTCAL)

Today I am officially PUPO for the first time ever!

When they called my name back I was still feeling unsure if they were going to pull me aside and tell me that none of them made it. And then she put the wristband on my arm and had me verify all the info on it. And I swear I could not keep the smile off my face. It just came upon me that it was really going to happen.

Then when I got in the waiting room waiting for the dr I just completely burst into tears. I don't know if it was a burst exactly but I could. Not. Keep myself from crying. Tears were just streaming down my face thinking about actually getting to this point.

I know that this is far from any guarantee that I'll actually end up with my take home baby. But this is the first time I've had any treatment and felt like everything just kind of came together to get me this far, when I never thought I'd ever be in this position. Then I started thinking about those I've lost... And it just all tumbled together and it was a good thing the dr didn't come in for a whole because I was quite a mess.

Dr came in and whereas I really thought if we had more than one I would definitely only want to transfer one, he convinced me that because of my age it would be very unlikely we'd end up with twins. I had originally thought for sure we would just do one and freeze any remaining but we ended up doing two. The third was not looking as good as the others. They said they would keep trying to culture it in the lab and see how it did and if it did progress they might be able to freeze it, but I shouldn't get my hopes up.

I stayed close to the office last night because in the MD / DC area we had another snow storm. And man am I glad I did because I definitely would not have wanted to drive in this mess this morning!

Oh and here's the coolest part!!! I got a picture of them just prior to transfer!!! The one that's completely enclosed is officially in the blastocyst stage (better) and the one that looks like it's still a little open I think is in the morula stage (stage right before blastocyst).


Thanks to those of you that have sent me so many good wishes!

dream 1 CAME TRUE 2.13.2010


 <dream 2> 12.2011


 2.10.12 : 4 weeks


6.17.12 : 10 weeks


10.10.12 : 4 weeks, 6 days


12.13.12 : 9 weeks, 1 day


4.6.13 : 4 weeks, 4 days


10.27.13 : 5 weeks, 6 days


4.2.14 (IVF #1) : 4 weeks, 1 day


6.19.14 : IVF #2 Negative


 </dream 2>


 resolve.org


AMA, Diminished Ovarian Reserve, heterozygous MTHFR


"all it was was a fairytale and devotion to a dream"

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Re: AW: I'm PUPO! (semi-XP from thread in TTCAL)

  • Your embabies are gorgeous! Congrats on a successful transfer! Do you think you will POAS before your beta? Tons of sticky dust being sent your way!
    Me: 37 DH: 40 TTC since 9/09
    #1 BFP 1/10/11; missed m/c discovered 7w5d
    IF Dx: Endo, hetero MTHFR mutation, poor morphology
    #1 IUI: 1/18/12 = BFN
    #1 IVF/ICSI 4/2/12 = 2 x 7-cell and 1 x 5-cell transferred (3dt) = BFP!!
    H was born at 41w2d on 12/29/12 - be still my heart!
    #2 IVF/ICSI 1/19/14 = 2 x 8 cells transferred (3dt) = BFP!! EDD 10/09/14
    M&W born at 37 weeks on 9/18/14 - I am the momma of 3 boys!!!

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  • Your embabies are gorgeous! Congrats on a successful transfer! Do you think you will POAS before your beta? Tons of sticky dust being sent your way!

    Thank you lady!! I don't know yet if I'll break down and POAS. Probably. But I don't even know when is the earliest I can! I'm not sure what I'll do yet :)

    Thanks again for the good wishes!

    dream 1 CAME TRUE 2.13.2010


     <dream 2> 12.2011


     2.10.12 : 4 weeks


    6.17.12 : 10 weeks


    10.10.12 : 4 weeks, 6 days


    12.13.12 : 9 weeks, 1 day


    4.6.13 : 4 weeks, 4 days


    10.27.13 : 5 weeks, 6 days


    4.2.14 (IVF #1) : 4 weeks, 1 day


    6.19.14 : IVF #2 Negative


     </dream 2>


     resolve.org


    AMA, Diminished Ovarian Reserve, heterozygous MTHFR


    "all it was was a fairytale and devotion to a dream"

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    ***All always welcome!!***

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  • That's awesome news! Lovely little embies! Very happy for you!
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  • Oh Anita I am SO SO excited!!!!!!!!!! I have everything crossed that this is successful!
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    BFP # 1 - 12/19/09 EDD 08/27/10 - D&C 1/26/10 @ 9w5d

    BFP # 2 - 06/05/10 EDD 02/17/11, DS1 born on 2/14/11

    BFP # 3 - 04/10/13 EDD 12/21/13 - D&C 05/15/13 @ 8w4d

    BFP # 4 - 07/27/13 EDD 04/08/14 - CP 07/29/13

     

    BFP # 5 - 09/14/13 EDD 05/28/14, DS2 born on 5/22/14 

  • That's wonderful! FX for you!

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    BFP #1 08/05/12. EDD 4/15/13 m/c 08/27/12
    BFP #2 06/05/13. EDD 2/16/2014 (Team Blue). Baby Wombat born 2/20/2014 7lb. 11oz and 20 in.
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  • So happy to read this!  Keeping my FX for you that you get a sticker(s) out of this!  Grow, babies, grow!  

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    BFP#2 2.5.11 (EDD 10.15.11) DS born 9.28.11

    BFP#4 8.27.13 (EDD 5.6.14) DD born 4.23.14

     

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  • km_mdkm_md member
    What wonderful news!! I really hope that this is your take home baby.


  • That is so great!! I have everything crossed for you. And twins aren't so bad. ;)
    BFP#1 12/18/10 EDD 8/28/11 | 2/14/11 discovered that our baby girl had anencephaly D&C 2/17/11 at 12.5 weeks | no O or AF post loss - Dx: AO + mild PCOS = secondary infertility Provera after 70 days = AF but no O | Provera + 50mg Clomid after 110 days = AF but no O 3 rounds of 100mg Clomid + Estrogen + Progesterone = mixed O results, all BFN hysteroscopy 1/6/12 - removed fibroid tissue injection cycle #1 - 75 IU follistim + ovidrel (triggered 2/9/12) + endometrin = BFP! EDD 11/3/12 | Beta @ 13dpo = 184, 17dpo = 993, 26dpo = >5000 IT'S TWIN BOYS!! Tommy and Charlie arrived on 9/10/12 after less than 6 hours of labor at 32 weeks Image and video hosting by TinyPic Image and video hosting by TinyPic Image and video hosting by TinyPic Lilypie Premature Baby tickers
  • I'm rooting for you! I did an IVF fresh transfer, and an FET, and know it is not an easy road but so worth it. All the best to you love!

     

                                                                   imageimage

    Me:41/ lean PCOS, 2 clotting disorders, IC/ DH:41~ TTC since 1/11
    Clomid 50mg,100mg,150mg | Injectables + IUI#1 & IUI#2= BFN
    IVF#1~ 8/2012~ 13 frosties~ BFP! OHSS
    12/4/12 Luke & Kyle born @ 18 weeks
    SHG+ Hysteroscopy+ FET= BFP | Cerclage+ Lovenox+ 5m Bed Rest
    ~Our wee guy is here! 11/27/13~

    PAL January Siggy Challenge~ Good Advice

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  • Wow :) This is so exciting! Big time crossing fingers for you!!
  • Sending you so many good thoughts! FX!
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    BFP: 12/20/13 EDD: 08/23/14 (discovered m/c at 8w5d)
    BFP: 09/22/14 EDD: 06/06/15 (hoping for our rainbow)
    BabyFruit Ticker
  • Wonderful, wonderful!
  • So wonderful!! Praying so hard this works for you and your family
  • So insanely excited for you!!!!! Praying!!!

    [spoiler] My Blog: Grow Baby Grow

    BFP #1: 12/2009 m/c 1/2010 BFP #2: 6/2010 m/c 8/2010

    BFP #3: 10/2011 ectopic 11/2011 (right tube removed, learned left tube was probably nonfunctional due to scar tissue from infection after m/c)

    3 failed IUIs, IVF #1: 18R, 12M, 10F, 3 poor quality 5d embryos transferred= BFP #4!!!!!

    Betas: 9dp5dt: 64 ~14dp5dt: 91 (expecting miscarriage, doubling time of 236 hours) ~16dp5dt: 200~18dp5dt: 500

    First Ultrasound at 6w2d revealed two sacs, only one with a heartbeat

    LK arrived after 42 weeks on August 14, 2013! Beautiful, healthy, and happy!

    TTC#2: IVF booked for April 2015

    Surprise BFP#5 February 19, 2015 EDD: November 2, 2015

    Betas: 10dpo: 10, 14dpo: 77, 17dpo: 270

    First Ultrasound at 5w1d showed a miracle UTE baby! And right ovary ovulation to left fallopian tube.

    JD arrived at 38 weeks on October 20, 2015.

    TTC #3: Since October 2017. BFP #6 July 2, 2018 EDD: March 16, 2019 [/spoiler]


  • Your embies are beautiful! Much luck to you!
  • Great news! GL and FX!
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    Me: 32 DH: 33  High School Sweethearts  Married 5/28/2005
    DS1 born 6/5/10 at 40 weeks via emergency c-section due to fetal distress and IUGR caused by placental insufficiency
    DS2 born still 8/28/13 at 32 weeks via emergency c-section due to a complete placental abruption - cause unknown
    Baby #3 on the way, EDD 2/29/16.  Originally twins, but we said goodbye to Baby B at 8 weeks.
  • Yay!!!!! Great update!!



    imageimageimage
    image
    My FF Chart:
    http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/490dd7
    TTC #3 since June 2013
    BFP #1 7/21/2013--EDD 3/30/14--D&C 9/24/13
    BFP #2 1/28/14--MC 2/7/14

    IUI #1 5mg Femara + trigger = BFN
    IUI #2 5mg Femara + trigger = BFN
    IUI #3 5mg Femara + trigger = BFN
    IVF #1, Stimmed for 12 days, ER 8/22/14, 9 retrieved, 7M, 7F!!  Freeze all due to fluid in uterus.
    FET end of October 2014 cancelled due to fluid in uterus due to possible c-scar defect
    Surgery scheduled 12/12/14 to fix possible isthmocele
    3/26/15 transferred one 8 cell grade 4 embryo and one 6 cell grade 3 embryo = slow rising betas for 2+ weeks = ectopic MTX shot 4/29/15
    Repeat c-scar surgery June 2015
    2nd and last IVF cycle August 2015, stimmed for 12 days, 2 egg retrieved, both mature and both fertilized.  Transferred both 8-cell embryos on Day 3, beta 9/5/15 = BFFN
    MOVING TO ADOPTION!  


  • I'm so excited for you!!!!

    We had 5 fertilize I think and were told that one 'didn't look so good' and we should just let that one go. In all honesty, I really regret not freezing that one or putting it in with 2 others to at least give it a chance. Maybe that's dumb because it's only a few cells but I feel like I didn't do right by my little 6 celled baby, haha!

    But whatever you choose to do is the right thing for you, no judgement here.

    And I have my fingers and toes crossed for your 2 teeny weeny babies, grow grow grow!!!!

    What is your test date?
    **Warning: Losses and living child mentioned**
    BFP#1 1/31/12, EDD 10/6/12 Harrison Gray born sleeping @ 18w6d. You changed our lives little guy.
    BFP#2 EDD 10/29/13, C/P 2/25/13, Bye little Ish, we barely got to know you.
    BFP#3 EDD 12/21/13, Baby Boots born 11/23/13 My rainbow baby!
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    January PAL Siggy Challenge: Good Advice
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  • Wow! So exciting!! Grow babies, grow!
    photo e9455f4d-9751-469e-a19f-460104cd2e5c.jpg photo jan15.jpg
    BFP #1 5/20/10 Natural MC at 5w4d 5/28/10
    BFP #2 11/3/10; BO at u/s 10w6d 12/16/10; Natural MC 1/7/11; D&C 4/21/11
    BFP #3 10/27/11 Please stick, LO!! 2/6/12 It's a Girl! Alexis Grace born 6/29/12
    BFP#4 4/27/14 Stick, stick, stick!! 8/11/14 It's a Boy! Evan Wesley born 1/8/15
    "Patience is waiting. Not passively waiting. That is laziness. But to keep going when the going is hard and slow, that is patience."  Let it Be (blog)My BFP Charts
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    This time I'm not leaving without you.
  • @BootsOrHearts‌ - thank you so much my friend :) I love seeing your (and everyone's) updates on here!! Makes me so happy :)

    My test date they don't want me to make until 3/31!! 3/31?!?! That would be a full 2ww from transfer day!! :(

    My husband gave me quite the stern talking to last night about waiting until then like they've said and not taking a HPT. Of course his thing is the cost. "Well do you have any left?!? If you don't and you're going to have the test anyway then you don't need to buy any." Arrgggh!!

    And also, I should say he really just doesn't want me to drive myself crazy with the testing and evaluating lines and what not.

    But I am not convinced of either of these things lol.

    So I'm not sure. I figure the earliest I would sneak a test would be 7 days after transfer date. That would be the same as 12dpo wouldn't it? I'm just figuring out how this works so someone let me know.

    Thank you all so, so much for your love and support and prayers and crossed appendages!!

    dream 1 CAME TRUE 2.13.2010


     <dream 2> 12.2011


     2.10.12 : 4 weeks


    6.17.12 : 10 weeks


    10.10.12 : 4 weeks, 6 days


    12.13.12 : 9 weeks, 1 day


    4.6.13 : 4 weeks, 4 days


    10.27.13 : 5 weeks, 6 days


    4.2.14 (IVF #1) : 4 weeks, 1 day


    6.19.14 : IVF #2 Negative


     </dream 2>


     resolve.org


    AMA, Diminished Ovarian Reserve, heterozygous MTHFR


    "all it was was a fairytale and devotion to a dream"

    lyrics

    Image and video hosting by TinyPic
    ***All always welcome!!***

  • So excited for you!!!  FX and prayers for you all!

    Lilypie - (dLe1)

     

          ***BFP 1-22-13, baby boy dx with Trisomy 13 at 15 weeks.

           We let him go to Heaven on 4-27-13 at 17 weeks 1 day***

     Lilypie - (AW2u)
     

     Lilypie - (L84X)Lilypie - (D4Hj)

     

     

     

     

  • Best wishes to you! Grow babies, grow!
    About me:AMA 41 BFP 8/1/12 EDD 4/8/12 Found no Heartbeat 9/5/12 D&C 9/12/12

    BFP 12/13/12 EDD 8/22/13 Lilah Ruby born 8/8/13

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  • This post is so exciting! Tons of good wishes heading your way!
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  • You test when you want! As long as early testing isn't crazy making. I will be counting the days with you!
    **Warning: Losses and living child mentioned**
    BFP#1 1/31/12, EDD 10/6/12 Harrison Gray born sleeping @ 18w6d. You changed our lives little guy.
    BFP#2 EDD 10/29/13, C/P 2/25/13, Bye little Ish, we barely got to know you.
    BFP#3 EDD 12/21/13, Baby Boots born 11/23/13 My rainbow baby!
    image

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    January PAL Siggy Challenge: Good Advice
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  • FX for you!

    Me: Endometriosis, PCOS, Insulin Resistance, Estrogen Dominance, Irregular Cycles
    DH:  100% Abnormal Sperm Morphology
     BFP #1 (Surprise!)  "Monkey"- 09/16/2006. DS born 06/01/2007.   
    BFP #2  "Quinn" EDD 06/21/13- MMC @ 8 weeks - Disc. 12/12/12 @ 13w0d 
    BFP #3  "Luna" EDD 03/31/14- MC 07/29/13 @ 5 w0d 
    BFP #4  "Star" EDD 07/06/14- MC 11/28/13 @ 8 weeks
    BFP #5 "Baby J"- 02/07/14. DS born 10/29/2014 My Rainbow!
    ~Everyone Welcome~

  • Great news, Anita! Wishing you the best and keeping my FX for you! <3


    TTC since August 2011
    BFP#1 3/16/12 EDD 11/21/12 Delivered 6/1/12 at 15 weeks 2 days
    "If there ever comes a day when we can't be together... Keep me in your heart, I'll stay there forever." ~ Winnie the Pooh

    BFP#2 4/14/13 EDD 12/24/13 Please be our rainbow after the storm!
    Beta#1 @ 15dpo 274, P4 16.9 Beta#2 @ 18dpo 940!! Doubling time of 40 hours!! u/s @ 6w2d showed a beautiful HB of 120! u/s @ 10w1d HB 174!! Grow, LO Grow!! Found out 7/22 we are TEAM BLUE!!
    Zaiden Harper was born 12/22/13 at 1:46 am. 9lbs 8oz and 22in
    ~*~AL Always Welcome~*~
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  • Congrats! Keeping everything crossed for you!
    Lilypie - Personal pictureLilypie Fourth Birthday tickers
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    TTC #2 Since October 2011
    RE testing results: DH- normal ME- DX:PCOS and One copy of MTHFR gene
    IUI#1 Sept/Oct 2012-Follistim, Ovidrel, Metformin, Baby Asprin, Lovenox, Crinone, and Neevo Beta 10/24=BFN
    No 2nd IUI but instead TI with Metformin, Baby Asprin, Neevo and Prometrium
    BFP #4 5/4/13-EDD 1/19/14- grow little one, grow!
    Beta #1@15DPO HCG-95, progesterone-25 Beta #4@24DPO HCG-2498, progesterone-30, 1st U/S 6mm,133BPM 2nd U/S 1.6cm, 167 BPM
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  • This is so exciting!
    BFP #1 - Mango - 6/11/12, EDD 2/22/12 Natural MC 7/15/12
    BFP #2 - Nacho - 10/14/12, EDD 6/20/13, MMC 8 weeks, D&C 11/16/12
    All testing shows both H and I are perfectly normal. Baby Nacho had triploidy. 
    Back to normal business December 2012
    BFP #3 - Froggy - 1/15/13, EDD 9/27/13 TEAM GREEN
    It's a girl! Alice - Born 9/20/13, 8lbs 2oz

    imageimage
  • Congratulations! Very exciting!
    image

    Me: 38  DH:36
    lap for endo 12/2010  uterus didelphys confirmed in hysteroscopy 
    dd born at 34 weeks 2/29/12  short NICU stay
    BFP somewhere around 2/14/13  d&c april @ 12 wks   partial molar diagnosed after d&c
    HCG monitoring for approx 11 months
    TTC  #2 

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