ED Q???

DoulaRaVenMa

As some may know I am a 2nd time Surro for the same great couple hopeing to make my Surro son a big Bro here soon. Our first transfer in jan ended in a chem & that was the last of the embryos they had I offered to be a TS for then but Ls sis also offered & they been looming into Ls sis which it looks like might work.
Any way ever since joining this group & reading all your stories & really doing some soul searching before I offered to my guys I really think I want to be a ED.
I was just wanting to know how any of you became a ED & if you just signed up with a agency's or what?
I have no clue really how being a ED works? Do you meet the IPs? Will you get to know if they got pg & had a baby? Will you ever get to meet the baby? Just trying to learn all I can about this. I am in the process of being a Surro so will have to wait to be a ED tell after I am done with this, but thought this gave me lots of time to learn what I can.
Thanks for any help

brooklynesque

@argylebride hangs out here and has done a donation, so she can tell you about her experience.

Generally you can sign up with an agency or directly with a clinic.  You might be able to get more comp through an agency but you may be less likely to get matched.  Also, if you think you'd like to meet the IPs, that's hard to accomplish through a clinic.  Most IPs who want open donations and/or meetings (and/or eventual meetings with the children) go through agencies, because many clinics have strict anonymity policies.  If you are clear in your profile or questionnaire that you'd like to meet it could happen but both sides have to agree, and the IPs will be choosing you rather than vice versa so you might not get your preference.  Whether you will find out if a pregnancy resulted varies by policy of the agency and/or clinic.

Thanks for considering being a donor!

Mrs.McIrish

My initial question is your age?? Most programs won't take anyone above 30. Some cut off at 28.

AllieAlba

The clinic I use won't take anyone over 35 for egg donations. You aren't allowed to meet the IPs, and the children aren't allowed to know anything about you (name, where you come from, your birth date, ect) until they are 18. But that is what is set by UK law.

P.S. I'm not an egg donor, by the way, that's just what I know from my IUIs and the website.

Mrs.McIrish

Here is a list of criteria for egg donors for my clinic: https://rba-online.com/ivf/index.php?Egg-Donation-Program-20

DoulaRaVenMa

Thank you all for telling me all the info you all had. It's nice to hear from you because you are the ones useing it & it helps to hear from real people.

I been doing allot of reading online & just emailed my agency today as they also handle EDs.

I just turned 26.

ArgyleBride

Hi there!  Sorry I'm late to the party.  Essentially, egg donation will take a heck of a lot less time and commitment than carrying for someone.  Medically speaking, you almost swap places with your previous IP's--it's IVF without the transfer at the end.  

I went with a clinic, and though I chose to be anonymous, they have other options, including being anonymous but still meeting face-to-face with the IP's.  In most cases, we donors are told whether there is a pregnancy, but nothing else.  My IP's and I exchanged letters. The clinic told me that for this particular couple, I could probably expect a birth announcement.  I personally will not, most likely, meet the baby, although I could potentially meet the young adult. 

I chose a clinic because I thought their level of care was better, and because they had an ethical practice.  Egg donation is not supposed to be selling your eggs, or worse, yourself, and a lot of agencies had that feel--for example, paid more compensation to more highly-educated or proven donors, when the compensation is supposed to be for your time and effort, which have nothing to do with prior donations.  I didn't want somewhere that would advertise my name-brand school, for example.  It felt tacky and I also worried about the expectations of parents who went shopping for a "smart" baby.  Finally, the clinic treated me as their patient, not as a commodity, and considered my health a priority.  This turned out to be a big deal for me, because I had a very strong response and if they had just been trying to get as many eggs as possible, I could have been put at risk.

ArgyleBride

I hope that helps.  Feel free to ask any questions or PM me.

DoulaRaVenMa

Thanks for sharing your story!!
So what meds where you on?
I am sure its a bit different then what you do for a Surro as we don't do any stim meds.
Also how did your friends & family if you told them take that you where a ED?
How was the donation its self?
How long where you done if at all?
If I think of more I will ask
Thanks again

ArgyleBride

I was on menopure and follistim, then something to trigger (Lupron, I think).  

I told my mother (and by extension father, though I didn't speak to him personally about it), husband, and sister.  My mother just worried about my health.  My husband worried about my health and was proud of me, for what I did and for my motives.  My sister did not offer a judgment either way, which I think makes her pretty smart because one wasn't solicited.  

I didn't tell a wide circle because I felt strongly about donating and was not interested in others' advice, judgments, or prejudices, which I knew would likely offend me.  There is a lot of adoption in my family, and my hackles go straight up at any reference to "real"--I didn't even want to hear from anybody who might refer to IP's children as "mine" or "half-mine."  Parents are the ones who raise the child.

The donation itself was a hassle because of frequent travel, not because of injections (even though I was a bit of a wuss about it).  

I'm not sure I understand your last question.  Could you clarify?

DoulaRaVenMa

Thank you so much for sharing what you went throw!!
Sorry typed that funny, i get on my phone.
What's funny I can't remember what I was trying to ask LOL
I am fine with the meds & shots don't big me one bit.
I don't think my family would get it as when I told them about me being a Surro the big thing was that it was not my eggs. But I feel so strongly about this I don't care what they think.
Already getting signed up with my adgencey:-)