Anyone else depressed? :( (Bartholin Abcess Not Helping Matters)

SuperFreakedFirstTimer

I'm only 6 weeks pregnant. I feel my hormones going nuts! At first, I was in shock and over the next couple of days I started to accept the situation and being somewhat excited. That emotion transitioned into terror that I would have a miscarriage (for some unknown reason) and then sheer panic of what my life would become. I tried to read an article about life when the baby comes and it essentially told me that I needed to be prepared to spend less time with my dog, for my relationship with my husband to change, for my relationships with all my friends to change and that if it were my husbands turn to do night feedings, I needed to sleep on the couch if I wanted to get any rest. It also mentioned that I would be so sleep deprived that I would think I was literally going insane and that I would just get used to it.

Rather all of that is true or not (which when talked about with friends that have kids, they've said absolutely not)....it's a bit much.

I'm COMPLETELY overwhelmed. I feel like my identity has been taken. I have a fleeting moment where I thought "I don't want to have a miscarriage, but if I did, none of this would be a problem"....that single thought drove me further into depression because I understand how awful that sounds.

I'm so sick of being tired and not feeling well and (unintentionally) complaining. AND NOW I have the most God awful bartholin abscess that I was in the ER for last night. He said it wasn't big enough to cut, however today it's tripled in size and I've taken NUMEROUS Epsom salt baths and applied heat.

 

I'm just really depressed because I don't feel like myself and currently can't even walk because of the pain from the cyst.

Does anyone else feel like this and will it pass?! I'd never do anything to hurt my baby, by the way. I'm just TOTALLY over sitting around crying and feeling miserable physically, mentally and emotionally.

Ykford80

Fear of the unknown is common. O course you're going to have mixed emotions about being pregnant and being a parent. You can go from happy to sad to being a nervous wreck to being anxious all within minutes and it's perfectly normal. That article you read was pretty much based off of one individual's experience and you should not even try to compare it to your life or situation. Having a child is a life changing event for anybody. It's what YOU make out of it whether it's gonna be an awesome experience or not so great. Just like every woman and every pregnancy is different, the same applies to once you give birth, become a parent, and raise your child. Just think on positive things, make sure you have a wonderful support system of family and friends, and STOP reading those crazy articles. It's all about what you make of it. Speak positive affirmations over your life and you will be fine. Having a baby will take some adjusting to, but that's just a part of life. In the end it's a rewarding experience. Don't let negative things/thoughts overwhelm or consume you and just take one day at a time. GL to you!

bf43005

This is my first pregnancy and reading your post it could have been me writing it.  I've had all those same thoughts, including some about my husband leaving me because I'm a disaster after the baby arrives.  I can't say what will happen and I have tried to focus on the known and not the unknown, because as I'm finding out there is a ton of that.  I talk to my husband a lot about my fears.  He doesn't have a clue what to say about half of them but having someone to listen and give me a hug helps.  I had bad anxiety prior to getting pregnant too, so I think it's worse now with everything there is to worry about.  I write in a journal and that helps me as well.  It's like I can ramble everything that's on my mind and not worry about someone trying to "fix" the problem.  Take a deep breath and try to focus on the good things that will change.

nonoemily

I had really bad pregnancy depression. Once my son was born I felt so much better. Yes, your life will change, your relationships will change, but it's not going to leave a big empty hole in your life. Being a parent is awesome, IMHO. My husband and I have a deeper bond, I'm a more confident and relaxed person. Just because things change doesn't mean it's for the worse. Plus, my son is my favorite person in the whole world and we have fun together every day. You have a lot to look forward to!
Sleep deprevation is a passing thing. Eventually your baby will sleep thru the night and so will you.
Don't stress. It's gonna be fine.

Jenniii

Hi there. I just wanted to let you know I know how you feel with the abscess. I've been dealing with them for almost a decade - at least twice/three times a year where they were bad enough to marsupialize (cut open then stitch open to drain, sometimes with a catheter). My doctor and I finally made the decision to remove the gland completely, at the end of last year. It was a really tough surgery and recovery was brutal, but I am so happy to be rid of it. Those things made me feel like a crazy person even NOT being pregnant, so I know that plus an unexpected pregnancy would be enough to put anyone into a bad mental state. I hope you can start feeling better once they're able to deal with the cyst (fyi, mine never burst on their own.)

If you need to PM me to vent or ask about treatment options, please do.