Well, I'm officially here (potentially upsetting, loss mentioned)

ambmama

**ticker warning**

So I mentioned that I've been passing blood and clots and having pain; however, tonight I actually passed the embryo. I'm shocked, upset, and... I really just don't know. I was not ready for that, at all. I don't really know what else to say, but thank you all for the support you've already shown.

AggieBeth06

Honey, I am so so so so sorry that you are going through this. There is nothing that I can say or do to make it better. Just allow yourself time to feel your way through this and to take care of yourself.

We are here for you.

One thing... Our stories were very similar and I didn't want to scare you by pointing the similarities out. I was hopeful for you...

My baby measured 12 days behind by my last ultrasound. I had one two weeks prior and we measured 5 days behind but with a strong HB. Everything was normal otherwise - HCG and progesterone. I spent two weeks dreading that final ultrasound. I knew it wasn't right. Everyone thought I was nuts... But I knew in the bottom of my heart.

You mentioned that you knew too.

That doesn't make things easier at first. I was still shocked when it was confirmed. I can only imagine how you feel to have had your worst fears confirmed in such a tangible way.

I'm about 5 days from when I officially found out. I'm still experiencing some traumatic issues with physically miscarrying, but there's a big part of me that is at peace. A mom's intuition can never be questioned. Sometimes we just know.

Unfortunately there are a lot of things that we will never know though... We will never fully understand why we lost our angel babies. I have struggled with anger over the week accepting this.

Also know that there is likely nothing that you could have done to stop this from happening. That is a cruel fact of our procreation process... But it has also helped me to accept that my loss was out of my control. It's hard because I don't know who to blame... But at least I know not to blame myself.

(((Hugs)))

Again, I am sorry. I'm crying for you right now and will say a special prayer for your peace tonight.

stephy1221

I am so terribly sorry for your loss. I hope you can find some comfort here in the days ahead. We are here.

barely

AggieBeth06 said:

Honey, I am so so so so sorry that you are going through this. There is nothing that I can say or do to make it better. Just allow yourself time to feel your way through this and to take care of yourself. We are here for you. One thing... Our stories were very similar and I didn't want to scare you by pointing the similarities out. I was hopeful for you... My baby measured 12 days behind by my last ultrasound. I had one two weeks prior and we measured 5 days behind but with a strong HB. Everything was normal otherwise - HCG and progesterone. I spent two weeks dreading that final ultrasound. I knew it wasn't right. Everyone thought I was nuts... But I knew in the bottom of my heart. You mentioned that you knew too. That doesn't make things easier at first. I was still shocked when it was confirmed. I can only imagine how you feel to have had your worst fears confirmed in such a tangible way. I'm about 5 days from when I officially found out. I'm still experiencing some traumatic issues with physically miscarrying, but there's a big part of me that is at peace. A mom's intuition can never be questioned. Sometimes we just know. Unfortunately there are a lot of things that we will never know though... We will never fully understand why we lost our angel babies. I have struggled with anger over the week accepting this. Also know that there is likely nothing that you could have done to stop this from happening. That is a cruel fact of our procreation process... But it has also helped me to accept that my loss was out of my control. It's hard because I don't know who to blame... But at least I know not to blame myself. (((Hugs))) Again, I am sorry. I'm crying for you right now and will say a special prayer for your peace tonight.

.

This was me to a T. The more that I talk to people, the more I find out just how common this exact scenario is. It sucks SO bad and I wish I could take your pain away. Know that you can inbox me anytime. I'm so sorry.

LittleMsLewis

Absolutely could not have said it better than the above poster. This is a terrible thing to go through, no matter how it happens, surgically, medically, naturally...it is a terrible thing. I'm so sorry that you're going through it. I hope you can find some healing here. You will have lots of support and sadly, none of us are alone in this. We're all here for you.

HopeNotLost

**siggy warning

I am sorry you are going through this.  After my first ultrasound, I also knew.  I had this gut feeling...this sense that it wasn't right.  I know people say that lack of symptoms means nothing, but I had NO symptoms.  I was tired, but I am a mom of 3 kids, and run a daycare.  I'm exhausted because I am constantly doing stuff.  It wasn't the "ran over by a train" exhausted that I felt with my girls' pregnancies.  

Wednesday night after my m/c was confirmed, I passed the embryo.  I was completely shocked because I thought I had passed everything.  Seeing this tiny little embryo made it so real to me....I don't know how else to explain it.  

We are all here for you.  big hugs!

ambmama

*ticker warning*

Thank you all so much for your support. I'm still just feeling shocked and a bit numb - I'm sure going to the doctor tomorrow will make everything more real. I'm still trying to get over hearing a hb on Thursday night and then 48 hours later everything being lost. It's hard to wrap my mind around. My DH is trying to be supportive (the best a man knows how to), but for now I'm just trying to function until I figure out how to deal with all of this. I appreciate your outreach and will reach out when I'm ready to talk a bit more about it.

dandb925

I'm so sorry for your loss. It just seriously sucks, there's no other way to put it. We all know what you're going through. Sending you positive thoughts and major hugs.

AggieBeth06

***ticker warning***

Take as much time as you need. We are here for you. Sometimes it is easier to talk to internet "strangers" about how you feel than to talk orally to people around you.

I have been surprised how people here "get" it better than the people I love so much in my life.

Do what feels best.

chicagojackie

I'm really sorry for your loss. We are here. xoxo

Laurenheat5

I'm so sorry. It just sucks and I get your pain