Should I be mad? *not TTC related at all

SnowFlake84

So DH's sister (who I am super-close with) and her family moved away a couple years ago to Boston. We're in Missouri. I miss them terribly and have only been able to see them once since they moved.

DH and I keep talking about paying them a visit one of these days, but it would be a costly trip between vacation time and gas or plane tickets.
So today, DH and FIL announce that they are going to visit her in May.  (FIL is paying).

I couldn't say anything because we were with FIL and I didn't want to make a fuss, but I'm quite upset I wasn't invited at all. And May is not a month I can go (it's a ratings period for news stations).

So it'll be a whole family reunion including everyone except for me. ?!

theholmanherd

I'd be pissed too! If my husband planned this without talking to me or even considering my feelings, I would be angry. You are completely justified. You two have a fun conversation coming....good luck

tumbleweed123

I would be hurt. I'd understand if the trip couldn't work for both of us, but I'd want to have that conversation, in advance and come to the conclusion together as a couple.  

athlete010688

I would be pissed that DH didn't talk to me that him and FIL were planning this trip.  I would also be hurt that I wasn't invited.  I definitely feel you have a reason to be upset!  I would be upset!

almostamissus

Yep, I would be hurt. I feel like dh should at least discuss it with me as the plans are being made. I would expect him to advocate for timing that would allow me to go too. That stinks!

SnowFlake84

tumbleweed123 said:

I would be hurt. I'd understand if the trip couldn't work for both of us, but I'd want to have that conversation, in advance and come to the conclusion together as a couple.  

This exactly. I wish DH would have told FIL he wanted to talk to me first.

Halsing said:

Did you DH not talk to you at all that he and FIL had been talking about this? If that's the case, I'd definitely be hurt. Is there a way you can ask if they can maybe go in June, when you could go with?

FIL asked him to go yesterday morning, but I'm still hurt that DH just told him yes without consulting with me.

Turns out, after talking to DH about my feelings about this, that it's for a flea market that has set dates. (FIL deals in antiques) So I understand that they can't move the dates. It just so happens that the flea market is in the same town as SIL, so they're staying with her. I get it now, but I just think:
1) FIL should have included me (even though I can't go, being asked would have been nice.)
2) DH should have told him he needed to talk to me first.

Oh well... On the bright side of things, I suppose I can watch whatever I want on Netflix for several days. Bring on the TLC shows DH hates.

lebradford

I'd probably never outright tell my husband he couldn't go on a trip without me (within reason), but no matter what the situation, I'd be pissed if he planned a trip (or agreed to one) without talking to me first. It's just common courtesy, in my opinion.