Drop-off preschool vs. Co-op ok for SAHM AP?

BloomingMomma

Hello,

I've never posted here before, but I need some advice. We are due with baby #2 this fall, and DD will almost be 2.5 then. We still BF and she and I are very attached. She also seems to have less endurance than other kids her age (with stimulation and needing to frequently rest and nap earlier). I'm a SAHM after trying to work when she was 12-months, and DD just fell apart so after a few months I quit.

We have gotten into a well-regarded co-op that in the fall 2.5 y/o can go twice a week in the morning. It's about a ten min drive. She can go on tues and thurs, and I only have to work in the classroom one of those days. They have a nursery on site, and I can hire a nanny or probably swap care with another mom since on days I'm in the classroom with older child, the newborn can't be in the classroom. I know dd will thrive there.

But, my DH (and myself) are thinking it's unrealistic to do all that work for juggling newborn to basically get no break for me. What if New baby gets sick or at 6 weeks can't nurse well and I have to go to lactation consultants, etc.

The alternative is there are three preschool/daycares I am looking at touring. They all sound nice with positive discipline and play/based curriculum.

I can even walk to one school with newborn and toddler, and she can go 2-3 mornings a week for a few hours. The others it's a ten min drive. Since her endurance just seems low, I would only start her 2-3 mornings a week to give me time with new baby.

My husband said new baby also needs my attention, and dragging new baby all over with little break from toddler will be too much.

If I can get through this next year, at the co-op, then dd can increase to three mornings a week at 3-years old, and I only have to work one day a week, then four days, etc.

Is it still AP and ok for DD's sense of self for me to switch from parent psrticipation to a drop off? Right now I love that I can go to activities with her and when she talks about rice play or her "teacher," I understand what she is talking about. It makes us have a sweet bond.

Thank you to anyone who has advice. I can see us hiring a nanny once a week to help me on those school days to watch newborn, but there are lots of "what if's," like if newborn gets sick or nanny calls in sick that morning, etc. The co-op is pretty strict with keeping your work day or finding a sub.

Am I overthinking it?

sugarbear0524

I think that by age 3, kids need some group time to establish some social skills and independence. Plus, unless you can teach them at home, there are academic skills expected when kids enter kindergarten these days. Preschool can help your daughter begin learning those skills. My son has learned a great deal in his school.

I'd pick the one closest to your home and give it a try.

mrsnorthernbell

I think by 3 things will be different too. She might like the time with kids her own age. I really saw a big jump in independent play with my daughter when she got close to 3.

=Lee=B

I run a home daycare.  I am AP with my 12 month old.  I have 4 additional children in care, including two AP families.  They are working families and they needed care for their 15 and 12month olds.  In my opinion they are no less AP by having to work and use childcare then they are if they SAH.

They managed to find childcare that followed much of the same practices they use at home, which helps their children adapt.  Regardless, they are AP families and their children benefit from their AP practices even if they are not home 24/7.

There are many, many skills your child will learn from preschool.  I see no reason why you can't use a drop-off preschool.  They will come to have fun, make friends, learn new skills and prepare for future schooling.  In return you will gain some time with just your baby, who will greatly benefit.  It will not make you any less AP. 

nosoup4u

DS1 is v v attached/has always had separation anxiety at drop off, and he was fine w drop-off preschool. He was 2.5 when he started going. Honestly, he does better when I'm not with him, bc he's able to do his own thing (rather than having me be next to him at all times). I'm sure she'll be ok with either option! I will also add that it was nice to get some time where it was only me and DS2 when he was a newborn. Try not to stress too much about it.

TiffanyBerry

I think whether you call it AP or not, you need to find a balance of your needs and your daughter's needs.  At 2.5, I put DD in a drop-off preschool (2hrs/day, 2days/week).  Mind you, she's similar to your daughter it sounds like, and introverted, so I had to stay with her the entire two hours the first few months.  Then only half an hour, and now (nearly two years later, and now that she's in 3days/week), it's only 10 minutes.  It's working great now, but she needed that slow start.  And I needed the time away from her that I didn't get in the co-op that we were in the year before.  (And I don't even have any other kids!)

You guys will figure it out, though you may go down one path and then decide it's not right and change.  That's ok too!

I will note that I wish the school started out at three or even four days a week.  It's easier on them to have a very consistent routine, one that doesn't change back and forth so often, even when it seems harder in the first few moments.

BloomingMomma

I can't wait to see the preschool near my house next week. Thank you for your perspective! I mis wrote I think as I'm not worried about fitting AP definition, per day, but more thinking that group care increases stress in a kid's life, and just want to do what's really good for her. I do think the drop off I saw yesterday fits us ok, but the co/op I love there is a central teacher. The drop off has a bunch of helpers just around. Hard to explain.

Anyway, it's interesting in life one has the image of the "ideal" then life happens and logistics sort of throw off the plan. That's basically what has happened to me.

BloomingMomma

At 2.5, should. Kid do 2 or 3 mornings a week? Is three too much or is 2 too little?

outnumbered

My children went to a Coop.  I did not have to work for 8 weeks  postpartum.  I used the nursery when the youngest were not students.  At our Coop we were NOT allowed to help in the same classroom as our child.  I loved our Coop.

nosoup4u

DS1 was fine w two days a week. DS2 is doing three days a week, he started right before he turned three. But DS2 transitioned to school so much better than his brother. It really depends on the kid.

If a preschool program is good, it shouldn't be stressful for any of the kids. There's probably a bit of transition stress, but once they get used to going to school, it should be a positive experience.

yeah.

JFC. yes, you're overthinking. Most of the world's parents, even the AP ones, work, and our kids are just fine.

BloomingMomma

Yeah. JFC really necessary?

BloomingMomma

6-8 weeks I think. Maternity leave.